100% To 50%
David, good morning. My husband talks a lot. And because he talks a lot, he lies a lot so that he doesn’t have to sit with himself and listen. He doesn’t realize this but he talks to distract himself from the quiet reality of what the real problem is. He is always trying to ‘fix’ me or other people’s problems but hates it when others do it to him. He did something that broke the jar of trust I used to pour in him. I tried to forgive but I couldn’t, and so I did something almost similar to what he had done and I guess he couldn’t stomach the feelings that my activities invoked within him.
Dave, do you guys for a second consider our feelings when you do shitty stuff in hiding and except us to shoulder the emotional weight of your unhealthy actions? Seriously, it got to a point in our marriage I had to tell myself to stop casting myself as the only human being who could make my husband happy. There are certain unrealistic expectations I refuse to look forward to in a man. It’s an incredible burden women ought not put on themselves. But that doesn’t mean we are a horrible couple.
My husband intentionally broke our bond and was expecting me to heal our wounded marriage. Make this make sense to me. When in reality his initial actions had nothing to do with me. I am not part of the stereotypes strongly crowning women to handle pain better than men. Dave, you guys should know that you have been dishing out hurt, disrespect, betrayals and all forms of abuse to women for centuries. You engage us and think you can do anything and get away with it? Isn’t it humbling even for you to picture the sorts of bullshit your gender is constantly, inflicting on women?
Ask a lot of the women on your platform. Many have become the punching bags of their inconsiderate husbands. They are living with so much frustration because these men are refusing to hear or listen to them when they complain about what they’re doing, or not doing, which is causing them enormous pain. Husbands who have become masters of all sorts of unbearable pain at their home; giving it – not taking it. And you know the annoying part? How you guys would twist the very pain you cause so we feel it’s our fault.
My happiness and peace of mind as a woman, and a wife is not my husband’s responsibility. But if you’re coming to me in the name of love, then your intention should be to contribute or add to my peace and not to disrupt it. Dave, no woman is perfect but the truth is that, if a woman is doing something and she realizes that it’s hurting her man, she would stop it as soon as she finds out. My husband, on the other hand needs a convincing reason to change and it needs to be more compelling than my unhappiness or misery. How wicked can a man be?
The way you speak to, and treat your wife reflects in how she behaves. I don’t know how the universe arranged it but that’s how it is. Your wife will take the form and shape that will reproduce you in ways you have probably never imagined. So, if you start from giving a 100% of you in the relationship, do not shortchange yourself later on to give a 50% because the excitement has faded on your part. Or you suddenly know what’s up because you have come into a little money. Listen, a God-fearing woman naturally is motivated to do what is right by you simply by understanding that her actions or inactions hurt you. If you continue to break her, you will have to learn the hard way – that you are married to a woman who just doesn’t care anymore if her actions hurt or offends you, so long as she gets what she wants. And, she will get what she wants.
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