Tag: Bad debt

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 62: Light Soup

DBM: Hi Light Soup. How would you describe yourself?

LS: 41 years, married, a father, gainfully employed, and I think I am a good friend to my friends. I am the type to support my inner circle if they’re feeling down. I love football and hanging out with my peers.

DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

LS: 7

DBM: What do you want to talk about?

LS: I loaned one of my friends’ money. The agreement was he had to pay back after four months. Because of the amount involved, I suggested he rather made monthly payments of a certain percentage. He felt it would be too much pressure on him, and so he opted to make a one-time payment instead on the due date.

DBM: How much are we talking about?

LS: 8,000 Ghs.

DBM: When did you give him the money?

LS: August 2022

DBM: Has he paid?

LS: No! Not even 1 Ghs.

DBM: What is his excuse?

LS: The excuses are different every time, but sickness has been the most used

DBM: Why did you give him the money?

LS: He played the sickness card on me; said the daughter needed surgery, and I couldn’t just sit back and do nothing.

DBM: Was the daughter truly ill?

LS: I met the wife one day, and I asked about their daughter’s surgery and she said I might be confusing her with another’s incident. She was clueless, and so I blamed it on a mix-up.

DBM: When was this?

LS: October 2022

DBM: Did you confront your buddy?

LS: I did not. I just wanted my money back in December, 2022.

DBM: Did you make him sign a promissory note to effect payment?

LS: No. We had the extended conversation on WhatsApp, after his phone call. I have proof via our chat

DBM: Was this his first time of asking you for help?

LS: Yes, but he had been taking smaller amounts from our circle of friends.

DBM: The surgery lie aside, does your friend genuinely seem to be in need of help?

LS: I think so

DBM: Does he work?

LS: He’s employed

DBM: What’s his profession?

LS: He’s in academia, a lecturer at the university

DBM: How urgent do you need the money?

LS: I had budgeted to use it for the Christmas holidays. Because I was sure he was going to pay back, I planned with it and didn’t put aside anything. I am very disappointed in him right now. I stopped calling him in February, because I am really hurt.

DBM: It’s never a good idea to lend family and friends money. If you’re gifting the person cash, that’s a totally different story.

LS: The sad part is, I had been blessing him and his family with money prior to the loan.

DBM: I know how you’re feeling. I have been a victim of being played by some friends I loaned out monies to. For some reason, I think they see me to be ‘okay’ in life, and so they’re refusing to pay back – forgetting I had to deny myself some things in order to give them the money

LS: What do you think I should do?

DBM: Are you in a financial bind? As in, do you really, really need the money paid?

LS: Not really, but I still feel it’s disrespectful on his part

DBM: It is, unfortunately. And he will realize it sooner than later, because there is coming a time in his life to desperately need your help again. I am speaking from experience.

LS: How did you handle yours?

DBM: I forced myself to create a mental ledger, in order to consider the almost GHs 11,000 in-total loan given them as their buying out of their friendship with me fee. I respond to them nicely when they check on, or meet me somewhere. I tolerate them for the short time they’re in touch, and that’s that.

LS: I don’t know if I can do that. We used to be really cool buddies

DBM: You’d have to learn how to if you do not want to find yourself getting angry or upset if he’s to decline repayment.

LS: What if he pays back eventually?

DBM: Count it as a bonus, and his friendship still bought out.

LS: I don’t understand why some people find it ok not to be trustworthy

DBM: Some people genuinely are struggling to keep ahead of their bills and life in general. Life happens to people who are ordinarily trustworthy, to sometimes become liars. Many of such people are feeling very low and anxious; especially when they lose their jobs, and are made redundant somewhat. A lot of people are struggling with debt. Let’s not rule out that fact.

LS: Truth

DBM: I have needed people’s help and support to survive in a time in my life; reason why I was encouraged to pay it forward when I got back on my feet.

LS: Are you still loaning people money?

DBM: No. I’m at a point in my life that I need to be conscious of putting on my own oxygen mask on before reaching out a helping hand. If I am in the position to support someone at a point, of course, I do.

LS: Should I call him one last time to demand for my money before considering our friendship bought out? But charley, 8k no bi small cash o

DBM: It’s a lot off money, I agree with you. Call him if that’s going to sit well with your conscience

LS: Thank you David. You’re nice

DBM: You’re welcome. There are other good people out there for us to experience as friends. You seem like a good man. Allow others in need of a true friend to share in your wonderful friendship.

Image Credit: Tima Miroshnichenko