Let’s Talk To Peggy
David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)
Participant 89: Peggy is my name
DBM: Hi Peggy. How would you describe yourself?
Peggy: Self-confident, very caring, true to myself, rarely bothered by what people say or think about me; never afraid to stand up for what I believe is right, super productive, extremely hopeful and a go-getter.
DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?
Peggy: 7
DBM: What do you want to talk about?
Peggy: I am still very new to this; I’ve been asked to raise another man’s daughter
DBM: Who asked you to?
Peggy: The mother of the child. She’s late
DBM: Was she sick?
Peggy: Cancer
DBM: Why would she ask of you to raise her child? Has she no family?
Peggy: Not all people feel a close connection to their families. I am certain that her family does not know where she lived; they didn’t know about her pregnancy or the child. She tried her best to fight the battle against cancer, but the chemotherapy process was overwhelming for her to cope. She left her daughter in my care when the doctor informed us that there was pretty much nothing they could do.
DBM: How old is the child?
Peggy: Five years
DBM: Where is her hometown?
Peggy: I don’t know. We were friends for six years, and she never talked to me about her family. She was one of my close friends.
DBM: How was the daughter left in your care?
Peggy: I was at work when one of the staff showed up in my office with her. I asked why she was in my office all by herself, and she said her mother picked her up from school, put a letter addressed to me in her bag, dropped her at my office gate and just left.
DBM: What was in the letter?
Peggy: Authorization to raise her daughter as my own. There was also the name of the child’s father, his contact information and picture.
DBM: The child has a dad. That’s good then, no?
Peggy: Yeah! But the signed letter stated that, I could contact the father to come for her if I felt I couldn’t raise her all by myself.
DBM: Has the father been in the daughter’s life?
Peggy: Not that I know of. He wanted my friend to abort the pregnancy, but she kept it and broke things off with him. He is a married man though. He doesn’t know he has a child.
DBM: Wait, do you want to keep this child?
Peggy: I am considering it
DBM: Why?
Peggy: I am her God-mother. She’s known me all her life, and she loves me. She loves staying at my house.
DBM: How did you hear about her mother’s demise?
Peggy: In the letter, she asked me not to text her phone because she’d deleted all conversation histories and cleared all contacts and call history. She asked me only to call her phone once a month. I called because her daughter wanted to speak to her, but I heard wailing in the background. Whoever answered the phone told me she had passed on.
DBM: How long after dropping her daughter on you?
Peggy: Two days. Her family called back to ask if I knew anything about their deceased daughter
DBM: What did you tell them?
Peggy: Not much
DBM: You mentioned their granddaughter by any chance?
Peggy: No!
DBM: Hmmm!
Peggy: I don’t think I am ‘stealing’ her. Her mother specifically asked me to keep her if I wanted to.
DBM: And you want to?
Peggy: I want to
DBM: Does this kid know her mother is dead?
Peggy: I haven’t told her anything yet.
DBM: When do you plan to?
Peggy: Not anytime soon
DBM: Would this be your first parenting job?
Peggy: Yes
DBM: Do you have any idea as to what you are getting yourself into, in terms of buying groceries, cooking, paying fees and bills, taxiing her to and from school, assisting with homework, helping her nod off to sleep, being a step-mother, etc.?
Peggy: I know how hard it would be, but I can do it.
DBM: I see. Tell me about your plans for the child
Peggy: I am in the process of moving to a really nice neighborhood. My new house is in a safe and respected area, with excellent schools. I want her to grow up with friends who value education.
DBM: I like the sound of that; a great way for her to socially connect
Peggy: Exactly! She naturally loves to read, which is a good thing. Her mother was an avid reader. I am a mathematical genius, so I have started teaching her math skills. I want her to be great in both worlds. I want her to be poised in her capacity to learn and solve problems.
DBM: You really are up for the challenge, huh?
Peggy: I want to try the best I can for her so she can manage her emotions
DBM: Are you financially prepared for this new responsibility?
Peggy: I am intentional about my saving and spending habits. I have always done the best I could to financially prepare me for my future family. I am ready for this.
DBM: I don’t know what to even say; I am happy for you? Lol!
Peggy: You can be happy for me, Dave. It’s scary, but exciting at the same time.
DBM: Well, I commend you not only for the bold step taken, but also your way of approaching this whole challenge.
Peggy: Thank you, sir.
DBM: What is your biggest fear in all this?
Peggy: I have the perfect idea of the kind of future I want for her. I want my baby girl to grow into a strong and independent lady. My only fear is, maybe pushing her so hard when my fantasies about her doesn’t overlap with her interests and tendencies.
DBM: You want my candid opinion?
Peggy: Of course
DBM: Encourage your daughter to study and grow to forge her own path. Allow her to show you who she really is, as a person, before you start putting your own ideas on her.
Peggy: ❤ I’ve got to put my daughter to sleep.
DBM: Alright! Good night!
Image Credit: Kampus Production
