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Car Prank

Karen: My husband surprised me with a 2025 Cadillac CT4-V Blackwing RWD last year, as my Christmas present. I didn’t ask for it. In fact, I would have rather preferred the money given to me to invest in personal projects but anyway, I loved the gesture. I drove the car for exactly one week, and then all of a sudden, he was the one using the car. He would leave his car behind and tell me to drive that instead. I let it slide for a couple of weeks because I thought it’s still for the family’s use. But now, I don’t have access to the car anymore. He’s taken over and wants me to use his old car instead. I don’t understand why he would do that to me.

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Gurl, that was your husband’s dream car. He bought it specifically for himself, but through the courtesy of you.

Karen: How so?

DBM: Smh! Has he ever given you a huge sum of money for say, the house or to support your personal project or dream?

Karen: Yes

DBM: And, did he, within the span of a month or less, come up with an imaginary urgent excuse just to borrow money from you?

Karen: Yes

DBM: Knowing very well you were going to tap into the very same money he had gifted you?

Karen: Hmmm

DBM: Good! Now do the math with the car scenario.

Karen: That would be disappointing if he never intended giving me that car.

DBM: He never intended giving you that Cadillac, sorry.

Karen: I’m saddened by that

DBM: Do you work?

Karen: Yes

DBM: A good job?

Karen: A very good job

DBM: Save money and buy your own car if you wish to.

Karen: I’m very disappointed in my husband.

DBM: Don’t be. Men have the tendency to pretend to be low maintenance when in reality, we choose to minimize or deny our true feelings, acting as if we’re unaware of our expectations, desires and limits. We know exactly what we do to you. Believe me when I tell you this.

Karen: I believe you

DBM: Do not underestimate any man who pretends to give up what they really want and be agreeable.

Karen: What do I do now?

DBM: You do nothing. It’s his car. Pretend you appreciate the gesture and let go. If he wants you to drive the car, he will hand over the keys.

Karen: What if I don’t want it anymore?

DBM: Then you don’t want it anymore. There is still a used car at home, no?

Karen: Yes.

DBM: Drive that one. Life goes on.

Karen: Ok

DBM: Are you happy in the marriage?

Karen: Yes

DBM: You believe he loves you?

Karen: He does

DBM: You love him as much, no?

Karen: I do.

DBM: He respects and honors you?

Karen: He does

DBM: He treats you right and would do right by you?

Karen: Yes

DBM: He speaks to and with you with respect?

Karen: Yes

DBM: It’s just a car. Today, it might be a struggle to trust or love on him and his intentions for you because he furnished you with a whirlpool of Cadillac CT4-V emotions. Get over it, so tomorrow, you can be open to the idea of feeling like the luckiest woman in the world – because he loves you.

Karen: But should I still trust in him?

DBM: DO NOT TRUST A MAN. I tell you ladies all the time but you continue leading with your hearts. Believe a man if he tells you he loves you but DO NOT TRUST the hell out of him. Believing in us goes a long way in making us feel we matter. We wouldn’t act out if we know you believe in us.

Karen: But would you act out if you know I don’t trust you.

DBM: I will pretend to be hurt but I can hold on to the fact that you at least, believe in me. Men are very cunning. I am telling you this as a man myself; especially those who’ve got their shit together, got a little swag of attitude, and knows their place from left to right. Do not be led by passion and throw caution to the wind. Be alert to our nonchalant charm when we make you feel something.

Karen: Thank you David.

Image Credit: Danmds

10th Anniversary Message

Monica: David, happy new year

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Happy New Year

Monica: Are you still having conversations with people?

DBM: No!

Monica: Why?

DBM: I am on break

Monica: Till when?

DBM: February

Monica: Oh, what I want to discuss with you is urgent Mr. Bondze Mbir. Please?

DBM: Are you at a point of wanting to end your life?

Monica: No

DBM: Then it can wait, no?

Monica: It would be too late by February. It shouldn’t take more than 15 minutes of your time

DBM: What do you want to talk about?

Monica: My husband wants to celebrate our 10 years marriage anniversary by recreating with me, our ‘how we met’ story and filming it for our children to watch in the future. He has hired two videographers, one for me and the other for him to capture the circumstances leading to us meeting for the first time and our first date. He wants me to take advantage of this opportunity to tell or ask him anything else I might have forgotten to draw his attention to during our dating era, so we can watch the video as a reminder to do better for one another in the next ten years of our marriage.

DBM: It’s a thoughtful suggestion from him. What did you do to mark your 9th anniversary?

Monica: Nothing

DBM: How about on your 5th anniversary?

Monica: Nothing

DBM: 1st anniversary?

Monica: Nothing. We have never celebrated any of our marriage anniversaries, even when I remind him. As long as the years keep adding up, he’s ok.

DBM: How do I fit in all this?

Monica: I am willing to participate in his idea however; there are certain things I have come to know about my husband in these past 10 years that has really been a disappointment in my opinion. He is a great pretender and performer to outsiders. People look at me and automatically assume I have the best marriage and husband ever. He knows how much I love him and our family, and I think he’s been riding on that to often take me for granted when he comes home. In the presence of people, he is an Oscar winning actor to put on a great show for people to think he treats me right. He is sweet and nice to the wives of our close friends but harsh and mean to me at home. He speaks nicely and proudly about me to people but never to me in person, unless he wants sex. He is quick to criticize everything I do but would not tolerate it when I draw his attention to his own flaws.

DBM: I know men like that. Flattery goes to their head to blow them high, while criticisms go straight to their hearts to hurt their feelings. In their minds, they’re the only ones who can give or offer criticism but cannot take it.

Monica: David, that is my husband’s attitude. The other disappointment is, he’s been involved in two different affairs that I know of, unbeknownst to him.

DBM: Do you still love him?

Monica: I do

DBM: Are you still in love with him?

Monica: I am

DBM: Do you still want to do marriage with him in the equation?

Monica: Yes

DBM: Take advantage of his video documentation idea to let him know what you’ve come to understand about him after all these years.

Monica: I don’t know how to go about it, David. Also, I am scared I might say something that could ruin the whole anniversary celebration on camera.

DBM: Let’s role play. Act as your husband and let me use the little information you have given about him to address you – without hurting your/his feelings.

Monica: Ok

DBM: What’s his name?

Monica: Papa Yaw

DBM: PY, happy anniversary to us. Thank you very much for doing 10 years of marriage with me. It’s been a pleasure knowing you. It’s been a pleasure loving you. I do love you but as I have observed over the years, I have only gotten the least of you. You give the best of you to the people you are trying so hard to impress, while I get the least of you. That has been my lived experience with you in this marriage. I am not mad at you. I only disappointed in my husband. Papa Yaw, if I am going to do the next 10 years of marriage with you, I would only ask that should you feel the need to continue performing to look good in the eyes of people, at least, do not stop with the charade when you walk through the doors of our matrimonial home. Pretend with me too. Make me believe you genuinely are that much into me. Make me believe you love me. Make me believe you care about me. Don’t just come home to a wife because home is your safe space; give a performance for me to equally feel safe with you at home. Let me feel protected even if it’s just for show. Please let that become the new normal because how you do one thing is how you do everything.

Monica: He’s not going to get angry after hearing this?

DBM: When will you both watch the final film?

Monica: After the two videographers have combined our separate shoots.

DBM: So, you don’t see what you both say or do until the final edit?

Monica: Yes.

DBM: It’s a good message to him. He will hear you.

Monica: Okay.

DBM: You’re doing the right thing when you let your partner decide what your truest concerns are worth in a relationship or marriage.

Monica: Thank you, David.

Image Credit: Kuda Foto

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