Twin Along
Haakonaa: Good evening
David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Greetings! How are you doing?
Haakonaa: I’m fine. How are you?
DBM: I am doing alright, thanks.
Haakonaa: Things in my life aren’t going according to plan, and I am frustrated. I feel left behind. I feel stuck. I feel defeated and sometimes want to throw in the towel.
DBM: I am sorry about that. What do you want to do with the rest of your life?
Haakonaa: I have no clue, Dave.
DBM: How old are you?
Haakonaa: 37
DBM; There is growth and learning in moments that we feel frustrated or left behind. There is growth and learning in those days that we feel stuck or defeated.
Haakonaa: I don’t know what to learn from this stage of my life, honestly. I feel like a failed attempt every single day.
DBM: It’s okay to feel how you’re feeling.
Haakonaa: I wish you were in my shoes
DBM: Question: do you have any role models in your life?
Haakonaa: People I look up to?
DBM: Yes
Haakonaa: The story of Nelson Mandela inspires me.
DBM: Nelson Mandela, was Nelson Mandela from the time he was an unborn baby throughout his mother’s pregnancy. When he was born and just a normal child to everyone, he still had in him his potential. As a young man throughout his youth, he went through his own version of the ups and downs you’re encountering, and was constantly in the process of change throughout the different seasons of his life. His frustrations, when he felt left behind; when he felt like a failure, when he felt stuck or defeated… each state of his life, each stage, at each moment led him to the man he became. You are inspired by his life because of his journey through it all.
Haakonaa: But Dave, I’m not even asking for too much in life. What I want so desperately, others have it in abundance. I’m tired of trying so hard already.
DBM: That’s also okay. It’s okay to sometimes, stop trying so hard when things aren’t working.
Haakonaa: But I’ve been taught to always go after what I want
DBM: There’s nothing wrong with going after what you want. What I’m trying to say is that, sometimes, you just have to go with the flow and be open to whatever possibilities are available to you – instead of wanting or insisting on specific conclusions you think would make you feel good.
Haakonaa: If you say so.
DBM: Are you married?
Haakonaa: I am married.
DBM: For how long?
Haakonaa: 10 years.
DBM: How has it been so far?
Haakonaa: Great.
DBM: Okay! Kids?
Haakonaa: We have children but they’re not his biological offspring, though they’re growing and showing up as his.
DBM: I don’t understand
Haakonaa: My husband and his brother are identical twins
DBM: You fucked your brother-in-law?
Haakonaa: I did
DBM: Ha! Was it a one-time fling?
Haakonaa: No
DBM: Are you comfortable sharing details of this escapade with me?
Haakonaa: I can finetune it to suit your interest.
DBM: Where do we begin? Lol!
Haakonaa: My first sexual encounter with my brother in law was 11 years ago. My husband, who was my boyfriend then, had traveled to Kumasi without informing me. A friend of mine saw him enter a hotel room with another woman and called to inform me. He denied the accusation and lied about being in Accra. I challenged him to arrange a lunch date with me that afternoon to prove me wrong. I got to the restaurant and it was his identical twin impersonating him.
DBM: Did he know you could tell the difference between them?
Haakonaa: He did not.
DBM: Could you tell the difference between the two?
Haakonaa: I could, but I also would often act dumb when tested to tell them apart.
DBM: Ha! How are you able to differentiate between the two?
Haakonaa: Their preference in cologne. The way they smiled. The odor from their mouths. Their T-shirt choice, and the volume of their voice when they talk. My husband is partially soft while his brother is slightly loud. Also, I could tell them apart from their level of tidiness. My brother in law is very clean and orderly when you’re in his space. My husband is the opposite.
DBM: Oh wow! And, they didn’t know you knew?
Haakonaa: I prefer for people to think I’m stupid.
DBM: Lol! You’re speaking my language on that. Isn’t it fascinating when you let people assume they’ve figured you all out? You remain in your quiet and become more of an observer than a talker.
Haakonaa: That’s the superpower right there.
DBM: Anyways, let’s get back to the story of your shenanigans. What happened next?
Haakonaa: He had his brother’s spare house keys so he wanted to act as if he was my boyfriend. He asked if I would go home with him. I followed him to my husband’s house and made advances on him. He flipped me over his shoulder and the rest happened. He did not mention it to his brother when he returned to Accra. I carried on with their charade.
DBM: Oh my!
Haakonaa: My boyfriend returned from Kumasi the next day, and I was in his house with his brother. He texted him to know the status of their arrangement, and his twin quickly came up with an excuse to want to go the Accra Mall to buy something. I took notice of the shirt, jeans trousers and sneakers he had on. He met my boyfriend wherever they agreed to meet, exchanged their clothing, and then came home to me as if he was the same one returning from the mall. The moment he hugged and kissed me; I could tell they had swapped. His cologne smelled different. His kiss tasted different.
DBM: Did you like his brother?
Haakonaa: I liked the fact that he could turn me on without moving straight to my genitals. He is a very patient and relaxed man when it comes to sex. The way he talks to me, the way he looks at me, the way he makes me trust him, and the spirit in his eyes when our eyes are in contact, allows me to be vulnerable around him.
DBM: Interesting. How did the pregnancy come about?
Haakonaa: Dave, before we married, I was looking forward to motherhood. My husband couldn’t wait to get to know a tiny baby. We couldn’t wait to raise our kids and watch them grow. We pictured ourselves developing a relationship with a maturing baby boy or girl. We were in our sixth year of marriage and there was nothing to show. My brother in law had married and was with kids. We used to talk every now and then, and he would mention how much he cares about me. Over time, I decided to play along, letting him think I didn’t know any better. He made a direct move, took me out of Accra for the weekend, and I was pregnant within five weeks.
DBM: Is your husband not able to tell the difference?
Haakonaa: No standard DNA test will be able to tell the difference. My husband is an identical twin. You would have to do a complete genome sequencing to link our kids to his brother.
DBM: What is making you unhappy?
Haakonaa: I was in love when I agreed to get married. Now, it seems like the satisfaction and joy to remain his wife has left me. The bond I have with my children is what seems to be growing and keeping me busy and excited, leaving my relationship with my husband to deteriorate. I’m miserable and I think he’s not happy too. We’re both unhappy in the marriage.
Image Credit: Cottonbro Studio
