Extramarital affair

Not Eating

Written by David B on June 7, 2026. Posted in Blog. Leave a Comment

Wilson: My best friend is in prison. She was being investigated for murdering her husband. She did not confess to the crime but she told me once that she wasn’t going to let him get away with something he had done. My husband is my biggest partner in crime because we gossip together a lot. I jokingly told him about the threat my friend had made one day on the way home from a party, and the next morning, we heard about the demise of my friend’s husband. To be clear David, I don’t know what she did but the medical examiners tested his blood, urine and internal organs to detect lethal substances. He was poisoned.

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): By?

Wilson: I don’t know. My friend, allegedly.

DBM: What did her late husband do?

Wilson: He was living a double life.

DBM: An affair?

Wilson: Yes, that had produced a child. Fast forward to April 2026; I found out that my own husband is expecting a child with another woman. I’ve been trying to smile and pretend that everything around me is fine but it’s not. I can forgive my husband but he doesn’t believe I’m capable of letting go. He’s not ate food from my kitchen since April, 12.

DBM: Where’s he feeding then?

Wilson: I don’t know. He comes home not hungry.

DBM: Then he’s not hungry

Wilson: Dave, we’re talking about my husband. He can wake me up at dawn to fry shrimps and put it in sauce for him to eat. His crave for food has no time zone

DBM: How long have you been married?

Wilson: 10 years.

DBM: Kids?

Wilson: Yes. We have children. Initially, I was thinking he probably wasn’t hungry but we’re in June and he’s still not hungry to eat my food?

DBM: Leave the man alone. He doesn’t want to eat your food. That is also okay. The fewer the merrier.

Wilson: But it’s upsetting me.

DBM: Why?

Wilson: He thinks I’m going to poison him

DBM: He specifically told you that?

Wilson: No, but what else could it mean?

DBM: Have you communicated your concerns to him?

Wilson: I have

DBM: And?

Wilson: He doesn’t take it seriously. He tells me not to worry

DBM: Is your husband happily married to you?

Wilson: He has a baby on the way with another woman. Will a happily married man do that?

DBM: Marriages go through tough times like these sometimes. It doesn’t mean it has to shake the foundations on which it was built.

Wilson: Mine is currently shaking. Trust has been broken

DBM: Fair enough. Has the affair been addressed?

Wilson: Yes

DBM: How long has it been going on?

Wilson: 3 years. That is what he told me

DBM: Do you believe him?

Wilson: No

DBM: Does your husband have insight into how he’s hurt you with his actions, or he’s oblivious?

Wilson: He’s apologized

DBM: And?

Wilson: I have forgiven but not forgotten.

DBM: Is he truly sorry for his choice or sorry because he got caught?

Wilson: He is sorry because I found out about the pregnancy

DBM: How did you find out?

Wilson: A friend of mine is a nurse. She informed me about it.

DBM: How did she know?

Wilson: She saw them leaving the hospital where she works, together, in his car. She took a picture of them from a distance.

DBM: Is this an isolated event, sort of, or you think it’s a pattern?

Wilson: I think he’s been unfaithful to me all these 10 years with other women.

DBM: How do you know?

Wilson: I just know, from some of the chats on his phone.

DBM: You touched his phone?

Wilson: I had to, when he was asleep

DBM: Do you have the depth and strength to recover from this?

Wilson: I don’t know because I will never trust him again. Dave, I am angry and depressed and I have anxiety. Going through these emotions alone is difficult.

DBM: I can only imagine. Is he at least, showing up for you – to make it up to you?

Wilson: He can start by eating from my kitchen

DBM: This again? Lol! How is that important?

Wilson: It is important to me

DBM: Have you considered seeking counseling from a professional therapist?

Wilson: Yes

DBM: Okay?

Wilson: I’m talking to you.

DBM: I am not a counselor

Wilson: You are to me

DBM: You need to speak with a professional

Wilson: I feel comfortable talking to you about it.

DBM: Understood, but I am not trained for this

Wilson: Ok

DBM: A three-year affair that is producing a child isn’t purely physical. There is a deep emotional connection already built. The intimacy they share has been over amplified, meaning, he perceives the intimacy he shares with you to be lacking something. Something is making your husband drift apart from you.

Wilson: What do I do?

DBM: Talk

Wilson: Over dinner, anaa? I cook, we sit and eat together and talk.

DBM: Yeah!

Wilson: That’s the point I’ve been making all along. He has to start eating from home.

DBM: You’ve really forgiven him?

Wilson: I think so. I want him to end the relationship with her.

DBM: What if he doesn’t want to?

Wilson: I will put myself in a different place doing different things.

DBM: You don’t have plans of poisoning him, do you?

Wilson: Not yet

Image Credit: The Only Abdulla

My Father’s Son

Written by David B on March 9, 2026. Posted in Blog.

Maryam: I fell in love and got pregnant for a man who we later found out is my father.

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Oh!

Maryam: Yes

DBM: How are you doing?

Maryam: I’m fine today

DBM: How old are you?

Maryam: 27

DBM: You grew up not knowing who your father was?

Maryam: My mother was 18 years old when she got pregnant with me. She was involved with my father for a month and she never got to see him again.

DBM: How so?

Maryam: She couldn’t really explain the full story. They were meeting to hook up for that month in a guest house. She didn’t know where he lived or worked. All she knew was his first name and what he looked like.

DBM: Did he know about the pregnancy?

Maryam: No

DBM: What was his reason for disappearing on your mom?

Maryam: He had been transferred to the North, and was in the process of packing out when he met my mother. He remembers casually meeting with several women to have fun with and wasn’t particularly thinking any of them could get pregnant.

DBM; So, it wasn’t an exclusive something with your mother?

Maryam: Not according to him.

DBM: But he knew your mother’s name, no?

Maryam: Vaguely, but he remembered her face when he saw a picture of her.

DBM: Ha!

Maryam: I gave birth to my own brother.

DBM: You carried the pregnancy to term?

Maryam: I was in my 32 – 33ish weeks’ gestation. It couldn’t have been aborted

DBM: I see. How did you meet?

Maryam: In traffic. He gave me a lift home after work, and he pursued me afterwards.

DBM: You’re single?

Maryam: Yes

DBM: I’m guessing he’s a single man too, no?

Maryam: He’s married

DBM: You knew of his marital status before or after your first intimate encounter?

Maryam: After

DBM: I see. And, how long have you two been an item?

Maryam: We met on February 11^th, 2025

DBM: How long has he been married to his wife?

Maryam: 12 years

DBM: What’s going through your mind right now?

Maryam: I’m not sure Dave. I feel hurt and heartbroken. It’s disappointing and devastating to say the least.

DBM: Do you love him?

Maryam: I am in love with him. He’s the gentlest, most emotionally available, kind hearted man I have ever met in my life.

DBM: Does he love you?

Maryam: I don’t know, but I knew I was falling in love with him when I realized how often he would call me every evening, wanting to share details about his day with me, and wanting to know about mine.

DBM: How did you find out he was your dad?

Maryam: I visited my mother to inform her about my pregnancy. She wanted to know about the father of the child. I showed her pictures of him.

DBM: How old is your dad?

Maryam: In his late 40’s

DBM: How does he feel about everything happening?

Maryam: We’re still trying to figure out whatever this situation is

DBM: How is your mother processing everything that has happened?

Maryam: She’s trying not to venture into the land of self-pity

DBM: Are you still being intimate with this guy?

Maryam: No, but he visits me at home every day. He’s taken over the full responsibility as a father should, to his son.

DBM: What is your mother’s relationship with him now like?

Maryam: She has no relationship with him. They’ve talked only once, after introducing them.

DBM: Is your mother married?

Maryam: Yes.

Image Credit: William Fortunato

Tag: Extramarital affair

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My Father’s Son

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