Make An Offer
David, I have been married to Sefakor for 10 years. We talked about the possibility of a marriage when we were dating. I have to admit that there were times I doubted our relationship. There were times that I strongly felt like it could work. The marriage I have today, 10 years later looks very much different from the marriage I thought I was going to have with my wife when we were boyfriend-girlfriend. I was the fast and furious type. A fuckboy who could masquerade as a woman’s prince charming, develop strong connection and feelings, only for the flame to fizzle out after I had a bite or two.
Right from day 1 when we first met, she made me understand that she wasn’t going to subject herself to any kind of unhappy situationship with me. She wasn’t going to waste her time with a man who did not deem it fit to earn and keep her trust. Dave, this was Day 1, and I hadn’t even suggested anything to the tune of me liking her. The women I used to chase were the types I could tell something today, and then do something entirely different tomorrow, and would get away with it. Sefakor’s encounter with me the first day I laid eyes on her left me scratching my head in confusion.
I was so confused and found the whole conversation funny, I left her office to my car, sat in the car for about 20 minutes laughing at myself. The next thing I realized, I had gone back to her office to ask for her number. The player in me felt challenged to come up with an optimal strategy, a clever way not to date her but rather maximize the likelihood of satisfaction. At least I thought I had such a formula.
I called her the following evening, talked for about an hour on the phone and then asked her out on a date. Before agreeing to our first date she asked if I was also talking to other women. I lied initially but she demanded an honest answer. I told her ‘Yes’. She followed up with, “how many women”? And of course, I lied about the number. They were five in total but told her two. She asked if I had gone on any dates with the ladies and I affirmed. It was our first date. Although I knew she was incredibly gorgeous from our encounter in her office, this was going to be my first time of looking at her from a lustful appetite point of view.
There she came into the restaurant, slim, tall curvaceous. I nodded towards my direction and she joined me at the table. The moment she sat down she laid all her cards on the table. She wanted me to treat our first date as a job interview. Since I had mentioned, I was talking to two other women, she was presenting herself as the third candidate being interviewed to be my personal secretary. She actually made me imagine our date as a job interview. Her conditions were, at the end of our date/interview, I should have made a decision whether or not to give her the job. If I could not make a decision I could stand by with my full chest, then there wasn’t going to be any further conversations between us.
I thought it was an unfair pressure but she had a point. I wasn’t committed to any of the other women by that time I was on the date/interview with my sixth candidate. We spent close to four hours talking and getting to know each other. When we were done with the interview-date, I had to make an offer or move on. Dave, do you believe in love at first sight? It’s crazy mehn! That night, I knew I had so much respect for Sefakor. Even the way I talked to her with respect, I wanted to handle her so carefully. These past 10 years, my wife allowed me to be who I was and allowed me to grow for myself. She did not force growth and change on me. My sixth candidate was the last candidate I ever interviewed. I offered the job to her because my plan was to date for the fun of it but Sefakor met me with so much substance.
Image Credit: Terrillo Walls
