Kindness – David B

Let’s Talk To Krys

Written by David B on March 22, 2023. Posted in Blog. 8 Comments

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 67: Krys

DBM: Hi Krys. How would you describe yourself?

Krys: I am a lucky girl in my mid 30’s. I am curious, enthusiastic, a risk taker, very compassionate, open-minded; I care about this world and I believe I can help in making it a better place because I have the courage to try.

DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

Krys: Can I say 11?

DBM: What do you want to talk about?

Krys: Someone I care about just asked me to marry him

DBM: Has he got a name?

Krys: I prefer keeping him anonymous

DBM: Okay! How did you meet?

Krys: I was supposed to pick a colleague I work with to work. I had been going round and round to find the direction given me, because I did not know his area very well. I’m also slightly stubborn. I don’t like asking strangers for direction when I am lost. I saw an elderly mom standing by a locked gate. She looked like everything that could go wrong had gone wrong on her. I stopped by her gate to ask for direction, but realized she didn’t even stay in the neighborhood. She had come from Kyebi that early morning to surprise her son – who was celebrating his birthday that day. He didn’t know his mother was coming over, so he had locked up. The woman complained about missing the first bus coming to Accra due to a mechanical problem. Her handbag also got stolen at Kaneshie. She explained her situation and begged me to call her son, because her phone was in the stolen handbag. I handed her my phone to make the call. We got to know that her son had already reached his job station. He couldn’t come back home because he had to prepare for a meeting. I asked for direction to his workplace, and also asked about the route to take from his house to my colleague’s compound. The old lady joined my ride to pick my friend and drop him at work, and then sent her to her son’s office for his house keys.

DBM: That was very kind of you

Krys: Dave, I am always looking for ways to spread kindness. I don’t mind smiling at everyone. I don’t mind cracking dry jokes just to hear people laugh. I seriously do not mind to act foolishly if it’s going to bring a smile to someone’s face. That’s who I am

DBM: What happened next?

Krys: He suggested his mother stayed at his workplace till close of work, so they could go home together, but she wanted to go to the house and rest. She asked if I wouldn’t mind taking her back to the son’s residence. Really, I didn’t mind. I had started to like her already because we had been bonding in my car. By the way, her son is very handsome. In fact, in the process of convincing him that I didn’t have any problem with driving his mother back to his place, our eyes locked after smiling at each other. It was more subtle than just staring at each other.

DBM: How long did the eye contact flirting last?

Krys: Probably 15 seconds or more

DBM: You liked what you were seeing?

Krys: Very much. It felt like he was expressing his love and admiration for me

DBM: Weren’t you late for work?

Krys: I was but I had to see this through. I couldn’t stop myself from holding his gaze when he was talking to me

DBM: Fast forward to when you brough his mother home

Krys: She hugged me really tight, like she wasn’t going to let go.

DBM: Awww!

Krys: I read her son’s first text message while driving back to work. He was at his meeting but couldn’t concentrate.

DBM: Why is that?

Krys: I was on his mind

DBM: Were you thinking about him too?

Krys: Yes. And I was replaying that morning’s incident all over again. To say, everything happens for a reason knocked the wind out of me would be an understatement. My heart and mind smiled lighter and harder as I was unable to understand what was happening. That afternoon, we agreed to have lunch at a restaurant – where we sat next to each other and continued talking and smiling. Dave, I liked him immediately but we had to go to work after the hour.

DBM: Was he single?

Krys: He was. That was the first question I asked when we met for lunch

DBM: Good!

Krys: After work, he suggested we met for dinner at a different restaurant

DBM: Was this a date or something?

Krys: That’s the confusing part of it all: I wasn’t exactly sure about what we were doing. It was too soon to call it a date, even though he offered to pay for the meal. We talked and enjoyed each other’s company late into the night. It was his birthday. I was smitten.

DBM: Good for you.

Krys: Yes

DBM: Did you hear from his mother again?

Krys: I joined them for dinner that weekend at home. She was very happy seeing the two of us happy. She assured her of her approval of me if he were to consider dating me. She was rooting for us to be in a relationship. She encouraged her son to ask me out if he liked me, and put his heart out there and tell me how he feels about me. She asked me how I felt about her son

DBM: At dinner?

Krys: At dinner.

DBM: That was ballsy of her

Krys: We’ve been in a relationship for four years now

DBM: What do you like about him?

Krys: He’s a great guy. Even when he is driving me crazy, and I am driving him nuts, there is still so much for me to be thankful for. He loves to do things with me. He is passionate about his relationship with me. He is a great listener, and very compassionate. He is the most positive person I have ever come across. Edwin embodies all the characteristics of love in first Corinthians, even when I annoy him.

DBM: His name is Edwin

Krys: Yes, how did you know?

DBM: You called him out.

Krys: Edwin is patient; Ed is kind. Edwin does not envy; he does not boast, he is not proud. Edwin does not dishonor others; he is not self-seeking, my darling is not easily angered, he keeps no record of wrongs. Ed does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. His love is yet to fail me.

DBM: That’s a good man right here

Krys: David, I don’t know what I did to deserve a man like him. He is too good to be true

DBM: So is GOD

Krys: I believe in God

DBM: Then believe He’s thought ahead of time to gift you with Edwin, a man after your own heart – who will do things to make your life easier.

Image Credit: Godisable Jacob

Let’s Talk To Larry

Written by David B on January 25, 2023. Posted in Blog. 1 Comment

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 45: I am Larry

DBM: Hello Larry. Please tell me a little about yourself

Larry: I am my family’s provider, and I make sure that the financial needs of my wife, children and the home is met. I am my family’s protector, and I make sure I am available to any of them should they feel anxious or threatened. I have made it my mission to not put the name, image or reputation of any member of my family to shame. In our home, I am the interpreter of our moral code. I lead by example, first as a man, husband and father. I have been married for 29 years to the same woman, and we have four children together. I am a Nephrologist

DBM: Who is a Nephrologist?

Larry: A doctor that diagnosis and treats diseases that affect the kidneys. We also treat patients with illnesses that can lead to kidney failure or its related diseases.

DBM: Interesting. What do you want to talk about?

Larry: I want to make a suggestion to women. Guys are not perfect; we cannot be perfect, but we can be loyal. We can be caring. We can be respectful. We can be kind. My suggestion is, make sure the man you are with, or the man you seek is all that and more.

DBM: Why should a woman opt for loyalty?

Larry: A loyal person will not think twice to inform you that he loves his wife and children. A man who is loyal doesn’t speak negatively about his wife to others. We choose our wives above every other woman or man we might be interested in. We follow through with our wedding vows and stick to it, no matter what. We are not ashamed to be faithful to our spouses; it’s not even a challenge; it’s not a difficulty; it’s not an obligation… It’s our everyday lifestyle because we believe in who we are, HONEST men by every standard measurable. And we give off this characteristic freely

DBM: Why should a woman choose a man who is caring?

Larry: A man who is caring is the right man because he relieves you off the burden of investing so much of your energy, compassion, love and effort into the relationship. Our actions put your instincts to rest, because we are focused on what is important to us, YOU. We don’t mind inconveniencing ourselves for the short while just to see you experience what you feel is best for you. You see us, and it’s like your dreams have come true – because we want to do anything to make your dreams come true. We know this, when we see that smile on your face, every day.

DBM: What is the relevance of a respectful man?

Larry: I respect my wife because I do not forget about her in my daily activities. I have not cheated on my wife all these years because I carry her along the way in my heart, and in my mind. She is the singlet I wear under my shirt; she’s the boxer shorts I put on before wearing my trousers. She’s the socks that fits in my shoes. I respect my wife because she’s the only woman I want to be with. She’s an important part of my life, and I want to be a significant part of her life. We are intentional when it comes to not doing anything our wives wouldn’t approve of, because we don’t want them to lose their respect for us. A man who respects you loves you. Dave, I love my wife, and I fear making a wrong decision that could affect her deeply. She accepts my good, she accepts my bad, but I want to be a better person every day, so she can be proud of me.

DBM: So, you’re basically doing everything possible to please your wife, no?

Larry: It’s not about pleasing her. At work, I see a lot of the nurses and junior staffs attempting to make us happy. I don’t think they realize it, but they seek our approval somehow. Our job is already demanding, and so trying to please others other than yourself – takes too much energy. I am a doctor because I WANT to be a doctor; It has nothing to do with what my parents or friends expected of me. For me, a BS/MD program best fit my interest and long term goals. I have always been passionate about medicine and helping people. It’s the same with marriage; my desire is to make it work with my wife, so we can enjoy the journey together. She’s doing her part of the agreement; I am doing my part of the agreement, and so far, we’ve gotten better results.

DBM: What are the results?

Larry: A peaceful home; a happy wife; the happy me and happy children. When I think of what I share with my wife, I get more vitality, passion and interest in achieving more for our marriage, so we can enjoy each other.

DBM: She’s your priority

Larry: Numéro un. And I am very patient when dealing with her

DBM: You talked about kindness

Larry: I think my wife and I did good in our choices, because we decided to be kind to each other. We are both decent and considerate. No, it’s not been easy: we have nursed our sore egos together, and we have decided to hold our hearts out in front of each other – with the hope that we wouldn’t crush it in our fists. A kind heart will hold yours dear to theirs. Being just kind doesn’t make me weak; it doesn’t make me vulnerable. I am not foolish because I am kind; I am not reckless. And it has nothing to do with being phony. I am the man I want to be in my marriage. I am the man I want to be for my wife. My actions are always within my control because I want my wife to feel safe and seen.

DBM: This is actually good. I don’t think I have any more questions

Larry: All I am trying to say is, being with such people is a blessing. I have not let my wife down; I have no intention of leaving her, even during a darker time in her life. I am a responsible man, and I will struggle along with her to make sure things are better between us.

DBM: Thank you!

Image Credit: Ono Kosuki

Tag: Kindness

Let’s Talk To Krys

Let’s Talk To Larry

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