Love at first encounter

Struttin’ With Some Barbecue

Written by David B on October 12, 2025. Posted in Blog.

Oumar: Hello David. I want to share how I met my wife. I was working in Johannesburg in 2014. It was a holiday and I had made plans with some of my work colleagues to go out to a strip club. We arrived at the club after 11:30pm and the show had already begun. All kinds of pretty girls were there but the one who caught my attention first, was my wife. She was in her thin lingerie on the stage performing on the pole. I could not take my eyes off her. She was the focal point on stage. The lights had been dimmed, and was dancing for a room full of almost 300 horny men, all looking at her. She twerked and made her sexy moves to entertain all the guys cheering her on, and then after the stage performance, walked down to every guy in the room’s table to collect her tips. I watched eagerly as those pleased with her dance moves tucked money in her almost-nothing undergarment.

She got to my table and I rewarded her handsomely, and she noticed my tip. The amount was huge; even I knew I had gone too far with it but I wanted her to have it. She had earned it. She asked if I needed anything in particular, and I said no. She left my table and went round to collect from the other guys before coming back to me, again. She handed me a note requesting for my presence in her private chamber. I gladly followed. She asked me to sit while she lap-danced on me. The craziest sh*t I had ever experienced. Though it was purely professional, it was hot as f*ck. I enjoyed my drink while she made her nasty moves on me. When she was done and tired, she sat on my lap to catch a breath. I held on to her so tight. I could feel her smile. She turned to stare back at me with a smile. It was after she had thanked me for my generous tip that I realized I was interested in knowing her.

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): She being a stripper wasn’t a bother to you?

Oumar: You have asked a very important question. I used to live by a specific set of values, and because of that, I wasn’t so very accepting of others that easily. But after I had asked why she stripped and she gave me her reasons, I was willing to acknowledge her reality as her truth and did not make any attempt to push my expectations on her to change her profession. She needed money to pay for her tuition and feeding at school. She was a student at The University of the Witwatersrand, Johannesburg.

DBM: Interesting! Why did you want to get to know her?

Oumar: She was an attractive lady. I think attraction sparked at first sight. And it sneaked up on me when we had our one-on-one encounter in her private chamber. It was stealthy and unexpected. I also took notice of how intelligent and sensitive she was in person. She had a good sense of humor and was an ambitious girl. She carried herself so well and was super confident. I was drawn to all. We became friends for eight months before our first kiss and hook-up. I liked her from the start but my feelings of love for her were like a sleeping cat. It took eight months of knowing, liking, accepting and respecting her before it awakened.

DBM: That’s good to know.

Oumar: Yes. I kind of knew I liked her from the onset but I didn’t want to encourage myself to believe that. The interest grew when I realized she wasn’t playing the ‘hard-to-get’ games with me. Though she did not sell herself cheap, she made sure she didn’t make her presence and feelings for me so hard to win me over. One of the reasons why I didn’t give up on her. I married her two months after our first kiss. We’re still growing strong as a couple, two kids later.

DBM: Congratulations! I love stories like these. What would you say is making your marriage stand out and not blend in?

Oumar: I made a decision to fall in love with her as many times as I could, each day of our lives together. It’s the same woman every day, but I still enjoy it. I am loyal to my wife; I am committed to my wife. I trust my wife and she trusts me. I am emotionally exclusive with only her. Physically, my fidelity is to only her, so Dave, you don’t have to ask whether I have cheated on her before. I am very faithful to my wife. Mentally, I am dedicated to only her needs. I take my marriage to my wife very seriously and have not forgotten that, our relationship prior to marriage required daily effort. I have not become lazy after our ‘I do’s’. Also, I did not come into our marriage with any unreasonable expectations concerning sex or intimacy. We instead, build each other up. Anytime we’re out together, we are always holding hands; we are always cuddling at bedtime. Do not get me wrong, we both have our shortcomings and we are not blind to our faults. However, we choose to rather celebrate our strengths and support each other in areas we are weak.

DBM: What is your wife’s current profession?

Oumar: She’s the Chief Finance Officer at the company she works for. She’s making close to R4.5 million per year.

Image Credit: Haybee The Photographer

Man like Fynn

Written by David B on July 30, 2025. Posted in Blog.

My husband claims he married me because of this strange, yet irritating habit I have of speaking too frequently in a question form. I am a very curious woman, Dave. That cannot be overstated. You tell me you love me; I need to know why you love me. You tell me you are not happy in the marriage, I need to know why you’re unhappy. You tell me you want sex; I need to know why you want to fuck me. These conversations spur learning and enables us to exchange as much ideas as possible. My husband will not admit to this, but it has fueled performance in our intimacy and built the needed rapport and trust between us.

We have been married for 21 years and our son was telling me recently that I am starting to look like his daddy. Apparently, we now share the same mannerisms and I have realized it too. The way I say ‘hello’ on the phone, the way I laugh and talk; the way I approach situations. It’s hard to observe oneself but I think being married to Fynn has helped me to also act in accordance with my beliefs, and have been consistent and reliable in my personal and professional life.

My husband is a very honest man. He has deep compassion and empathy. He understands my problems and would do anything to relieve my burdens or pain. I have never met a man who sincerely cares about the well-being of his wife and child as Fynn does. We first met at a Goil Filling station. He was walking around with a Bic Cristal pen behind his ear, providing customer service at the gas station. He moved to the fuel dispenser near my car to pump and before taking my cash, he asked if I was a single woman.

“Uh, yes!” I nodded, smiling to communicate that I was checking him out too from a distance.

“You know, we should get together some time this week.” He said, so enthusiastically while he took my money and counted it. I was single but not lonely, though often alone. Fynn was charming. He still is, but there was something about his appearance and smile, and the way he talked to me that captivated and held my interest. He brought a blend of strength and sensitivity to our first interaction at the filling station.

I picked him up after his shift one evening to go out on our first date. My observations were these; he was a smart guy. A very confident and curious graduate from Legon. He was also very BROKE. Dave, there is already a lot of pressure on women to do almost everything in the household. The idea of adding the burden of potentially carrying a broke man’s ass could almost be too much. I thought of it, to be honest. Fynn was honest and open about his feelings, pocket and intentions for me, and did not hide his thoughts. I listened to everything he had to say actively, and acknowledged our different viewpoints. I got to know he was unable to find a better job despite putting in the effort.

Fast forward to when he got his master’s degree, started his dream job and then later asked me to marry him. My husband has been consistent in being sensitive to my needs and feelings. He responds to me with so much kindness and support. Every year on our wedding anniversary, he assures me of keeping his promise and vows, and will fulfill his commitments. A man like this, I can depend upon in all aspects of my life. It’s not even about him being faithful to me; It’s about Fynn choosing to be devoted to the growth of our marriage, and standing firm even in challenging times. He walked into my life quietly and has been showing up for me loudly.

Every woman deserves to be with a man who willingly gives freely without expecting something in return. A man who enriches your life and the relationship he intends to build with you. A man who makes you feel valued and cared for without the daily broadcast of his goodness and mercies upon you. A man who treats you well, not just in easy times but when challenges arise. Fynn is a pleasant companion. Every decision or initiative he has taken in these 21 years have been made while considering my needs and wishes.

Image Credit: Chris wade NTEZICIMPA

Let’s Talk To Quinton

Written by David B on June 27, 2023. Posted in Blog.

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 134: It’s Quinton

DBM: Hi Quinton. How would you describe yourself?

Quinton: I know when to step in, take over or encourage.

DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

Quinton: 8

DBM: What do you want to talk about?

Quinton: Her phone rang under the bench next to the neem tree. It might have fallen from her bag. It rang the second time before I could locate it and answer. She was at the saloon, calling with her hairdresser’s phone. I answered and could hear her sigh heavily. I told her where I had found her phone and she explained she was there 35 minutes prior to read, eat and meditate. She wanted to come back for it but I asked for the location to the saloon, since she didn’t drive. When I first saw her, she just another girl, nice face though but just another nice face. I gave the phone to her and she wouldn’t stop thanking me. She mentioned her name; again, just another nice name. I went back to my car and she walked towards me, ‘boss, I didn’t get your name’, she asked. She did not get my name because I didn’t mention it. I told her my name, and she speculated aloud, why I hadn’t asked for her phone number yet. I laughed, she smiled and there it was – something peculiar, her smile. The smile got me hooked. I wasn’t in a hurry to leave for a meeting anymore.

DBM: Hehehe. I love to see people wear their smiles too

Quinton: We started talking and before I realized, I was in the saloon waiting for her hair to be fixed. Before I realized, I was paying for her beautiful hairstyle. Before I realized, I was taking her out to eat. Before I realized, I was driving her home. Before I realized, I was extending my right had to shake hers. Before I realized, she was hugging me. Before I realized, I had walked her to her door. Before I realized, I was kissing her passionately.

DBM: All this in a day?

Quinton: All of that in six hours.

DBM: At this point, I mean, after the first kiss, what was going through your mind?

Quinton: Do you believe love can be found in six hours?

DBM: Yes

Quinton: Are you sure?

DBM: I am very sure

Quinton: Great, because I instantly knew I had found the woman I could marry

DBM: You mind me asking how you knew?

Quinton: I felt an instant connection to her. I rescheduled an important meeting just to spend time with her at the saloon. That was so un-like me. I hadn’t felt anything so strong like that before. It was a good feeling that engulfed me that day

DBM: All because of her smile?

Quinton: That is what a good smile can do

DBM: What did you talk about when you took her out to eat that day?

Quinton: We talked about ourselves, families, dreams and aspirations – and with every passing minute, I slowly witnessed something extraordinarily true, large and amazing unfolding right before my eyes with every word she spoke.

DBM: How old were you?

Quinton: 36

DBM: How old was she?

Quinton: 35

DBM: Oh, nice! And, how long have you two been together?

Quinton: We’ve been married for 8 years. We dated for a year.

DBM: Kids?

Quinton: We have a son

DBM: How is marriage life?

Quinton: It’s an interesting journey to embark on. I always thought my wife was perfect till I realized she had flaws too. Whenever she does something to get on my nerves, I look back at the 90% good in her to teach my temper how not to shout. She’s not mean nor petty. She doesn’t number all of my wrongs to remind me of them; She gives me my space; I allow her hers. Respect is mutual, the friendship is tight, the love is deep. There is always that new window into our lives because we try doing things differently, to see the other sides to us. Sex is magnificent. There is something special about my wife that I am always attracted to every day, and she feels the same way about me too.

DBM: Have you cheated on your wife before?

Quinton: I found myself in an emotional entanglement 4 years ago with my Personal Assistant. It wasn’t a physical pursuit, but emotionally, it was something deep.

DBM: You loved her?

Quinton: I liked her

DBM: Do you like your wife?

Quinton: I like my wife

DBM: Is the ‘affair’ still ongoing or it ended?

Quinton: I had to end it

DBM: Why?

Quinton: Somehow, my wife suspected I could be having an affair, so she confronted me about it. I felt very embarrassed she found out her husband could be an unfaithful man.

DBM: Well… At least, you weren’t physical with the other woman, no?

Quinton: Cheating emotionally can be just as destructive to my marriage as a physical affair would.

DBM: True. How did your PA suddenly become something else on your mind?

Quinton: It started innocently, actually. We work together most of the time during the week. We see each other a lot in a work at the office. Work relationship turned to friendship and she began confiding in me about her personal life. I don’t know how it happened but I started sharing my personal thoughts and plans with her too. As the days went by, the level of familiarity between us augmented. I didn’t see it escalating into something else till my wife asked me if I was seeing another woman.

DBM: What was your response to her question?

Quinton: I told her I could be falling in love with another woman.

DBM: What was her reaction?

Quinton: She asked me to put a stop to it because it would hurt her feelings, and that, she may not be able to come back to what we have should I go ahead and cheat.

DBM: What’s your wife’s profession?

Quinton: She’s a teacher

DBM: Did you put an end to it?

Quinton: I did. It’s not been my style to hurt my wife’s feelings. She means the world to me

DBM: Participant 133, Leroy, left a question for you: ‘You own a crystal ball that could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, your past, present, the future and anything else. What would you want to know?’

Quinton: My past with women was not pleasant. I could fake a serious degree of romantic interests just to get laid. I knew how to become the answer to a woman’s prayer, and then, leave them broken afterwards. This is a part of me I am no longer proud of. What I would want to know is, how my wife has become the woman I run to when I am not happy, the person I trust to open up to about anything… The woman who made me believe in love again.

DBM: It’s your turn to leave a question behind for the next participant

Quinton: Where lies your belief, God, luck or numerology?

Image Credit: Cottonbro Studio

Tag: Love at first encounter

Struttin’ With Some Barbecue

Man like Fynn

Let’s Talk To Quinton

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