Tag: Mixed feelings

Comey: Hi senior. Are you a counselor?

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): No sir.

Comey: You’re not a professional therapist?

DBM: I am not.

Comey: What are you into?

DBM: Communications

Comey: That’s your professional background?

DBM: Yes please

Comey: Why do you do these things on FB?

DBM: Which things?

Comey: Counseling, music, preaching

DBM: I don’t counsel. I don’t preach. I just chat with people who are comfortable opening up to me. I like listening to people when I have the time. I can sometimes be good at expanding perspectives, and if in the right mood, offer feedback on how I would deal with a difficult situation.

Comey: Are you a musician?

DBM: I’m a songwriter who just happens to love to sing.

Comey: You don’t sing professionally?

DBM: No.

Comey: Why do you shoot music videos and record songs? You spend money on all that, don’t you?

DBM: I do. I love to document all my works, thus my reason for recording and registering them. Someday, if I’m to leave this earth, I’d want to confidently leave knowing I put out all the talents and giftings deposited in me by GOD.

Comey: Do you have a performing rights organization representing the songs you write?

DBM: Yes. Broadcast Music, Inc. (BMI Music)

Comey: Can I ask another personal question?

DBM: It depends on the type of question

Comey: How much do you spend on recording music and shooting videos?

DBM: I’ve spent over ten thousand dollars.

Comey: Do you make money from music?

DBM: No!

Comey: Have you considered pursuing counselling professionally?

DBM: No!

Comey: Why not?

DBM: I tend to be very emotional and biased.

Comey: But you actively know how to listen

DBM: When I am in the right mood to want to, yes.

Comey: Is that not the minimum basic skill for counseling?

DBM: Yeah, but it’s not my life’s mandate, unfortunately.

Comey: Do you follow up on your clients?

DBM: No.

Comey: Why don’t you?

DBM: Because they are not ‘clients’ and I don’t want to be invested.

Comey: So, it ends after the chat?

DBM: Yes. I have to gauge my own energy and desire.

Comey: I need someone who will check up on me after sharing my problems with them.

DBM: I can recommend a professional therapist. He charges per the hour. He is very experienced and passionate, and has made huge contributions to the field.

Comey: How much does he charge?

DBM: $150/hr

Comey: Ghanaian?

DBM: No! He’s American. I know him personally. He does remote sessions with some of his clients too. Let me know if you’re interested.

Comey: Ok. Can I share my issue with you so I know what you make of it?

DBM: I’m all ears.

Comey: I think I’ve found my soulmate. I knew from the first day we agreed to be friends and I’ve loved her every moment. I broke things off with her at a point, and moved on with my life. She married a different man three years ago. We met at a function in 2022, and she told me she had been trying to find me. I had been trying to find out what she had been up to through mutual friends over the years too. When we met at the function, she told me she’s only been in love with me. Dave, she’s the only woman I have been in love with. I found out in 2022 that she was pregnant with her husband’s child but didn’t want to keep it. She wanted us to try rekindling our relationship to see if we still had a chance.

DBM: She was married in 2022, no?

Comey: Yes, and under 11 weeks pregnant when we had this conversation at the private function.

DBM: Okay!

Comey: She wanted an abortion, and asked me to find her a trusted doctor. I knew of a doctor who assessed her pregnancy and told us she was suitable to have a medical abortion at home. To clear things up, it wasn’t my suggestion to get rid of the pregnancy. She did not want to continue with the pregnancy nor keep her husband’s baby, and she confirmed to the doctor that her decision was her preferred option.

DBM: Her husband had no say in this?

Comey: The doctor said it was her choice and her right to do so

DBM: Did her husband know about the pregnancy?

Comey: He did.

DBM: I see

Comey: The doctor prepared a treatment pack for her, which included medicines she’d need for the abortion treatment, and some pain killers and other tablets. I collected the pack from the clinic and delivered it to her at work. I did not hear from her for two weeks. The day she called, she had gone to see the doctor to do a scan and the result was negative.

DBM: How did you feel after hearing from her?

Comey: Relief, sadness, a bit of joy, all combined.

DBM: Was that her first pregnancy?

Comey: Yes

DBM: Is she divorced now?

Comey: Not yet.

DBM: What is the current status of your relationship?

Comey: My relationship with her?

DBM: Yes

Comey: We’re still in touch and in love.

DBM: Why is she still married?

Comey: We were in the planning process to figure out the best way to break the news to her husband.

DBM: And?

Comey: She got pregnant again.

DBM: With her husband’s child?

Comey: We don’t know

DBM: You were sleeping with her?

Comey: Yes

DBM: Unprotected?

Comey: Yes

DBM: Are you sleeping with any other women?

Comey: One or two, but with protection. She’s the only one I do raw with.

DBM: What do you feel for the one or two you fuck with?

Comey: It’s just sex, nothing important.

DBM: Is she keeping this pregnancy?

Comey: We are. She believes it could be mine

DBM: It could as well be for the husband, no?

Comey: Yes

DBM: So, what’s the end game here?

Comey: She still doesn’t know how to ask her husband for a divorce.

DBM: You are the ‘how’ to her puzzle. What’s so difficult about being honest with her husband? She has no reason to sugarcoat or beautify a lie. You two managed to abort his first attempt to fatherhood. It’s only fair to dish him the remaining painful truth than to be lying and unintentionally giving him false hope.

Comey: She wants me to join her at home so we can both break the news to him.

DBM: How old are you?

Comey: 38

DBM: How old is she?

Comey: Also, in her 30’s

DBM: What are you going to do?

Comey: I would have joined her at home to do this but she said her husband know of my name.

DBM: How so?

Comey: She’s accidentally moaned and cried out my name three different times while having sex with her husband. Because we cannot predict the outcome of things, we are both not sure if it’s the right move.

DBM: Do you truly love this young lady?

Comey: My love for her grows over time. We have shared quality moments and memories that I cannot let go. She has my support.

DBM: Why did you break things off with her many years ago?

Comey: I saw a message on her phone from a guy who was supposedly her friend, but was making a move on her. She did not tell him to stop and was rather enjoying the attention he was giving her.

DBM: Was she the only woman you were intimate with during that dating phase?

Comey: No. But she was the only girl I was in love with and wanted to marry. For the others, it was just sex.

DBM: What does ‘just sex’ mean?

Comey: It’s like candy, sweet. I share it happily with a selected few without expectation of catching any feelings in return. But when it comes to my woman, I give her a special piece of the candy because it makes me happy to see her excited about it.

DBM: Can you picture a future without her in it?

Comey: I cannot, Dave. I am interested in everything she cares about. Can’t say I’ve ever wanted to assist anyone in getting an abortion, but here we are. It’s easy for me to find a woman to fulfill my sexual needs and there’s rarely a connection beyond the moment. What I have built with my woman has always had the potential to develop into marriage. And I’m willing to marry her any day after her divorce.

Image Credit: Nataliya Vaitkevich