Let’s Talk To Sena
David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)
Participant 18: The name Sena sounds nice to me.
DBM: Hello, Sena. Please tell me a little about yourself.
Sena: I grew up in a humble home, and have done the best I could to remain persistent and tenacious. I am a tough girl and will never stop until I achieve my goals in life. Overall, I think I am a compassionate person. I am married and a mother.
DBM: What do you want to talk about today?
Sena: An aspect of my past that I am beginning to miss.
DBM: You’re no longer into that past thing?
Sena: Marriage influenced my decision to stop.
DBM: Tell me about the past.
Sena: It started after my first boyfriend cheated on me. I could not understand how a man claiming to love only me would develop feelings for multiple ladies at a time. In my attempt to understand, in order to forgive him, I fell in love with my second boyfriend. He was my first’s close friend.
DBM: Why his close friend?
Sena: It just happened. He knew his friend better, and was the right person to talk to. My first found out about us, and we had to end things.
DBM: Had you gotten over the first breakup?
Sena: No! And though we were no longer dating, we occasionally would hook up for sex.
DBM: While dating his close friend?
Sena: Yes and no. When my first got to know about our relationship, the second didn’t want to have any issues with my first, and so we agreed to separate. But we would also hook up to have sex, as and when.
DBM: So, you were sleeping with both men?
Sena: Yes, while dating my third guy.
DBM: Were you in love with all three?
Sena: Good question, I was! And that was when it dawned on me that I may naturally be a polyamorous lady.
DBM: How did that make you feel?
Sena: Being attracted to, and not just that, but having the ability to love more than just one man at a time is no small feat. It was a lot to take in.
DBM: Were you ashamed in any way?
Sena: Once in a while, I would feel guilt but as I became more and more sexually attracted to different men, I found the excitement in the journey and managed to live with it.
DBM: What type of men do you find attractive?
Sena: I am very attracted to intelligence. A self-confident man is attractive to me. I like courteous men; a man who is constantly trying to improve his own life is a man I find to be handsome. Because I am open-minded, I like men who are too.
DBM: Is your husband any of these characteristics listed?
Sena: He is. My husband is so calm, and very well composed. He is aware of the impact his choice of words have on me.
DBM: Prior to meeting your husband, how many men had you laid with?
Sena: Over 57
DBM: Were you a sex worker?
Sena: No, but I loved sex.
DBM: You had feelings for all the men?
Sena: 15% of the total number, yes!
DBM: How is your current sex life with your husband?
Sena: Boring. It was okay when we didn’t have children, but after the kids came responsibilities.
DBM: Responsibilities on whose part?
Sena: I think my husband assumes I have a lot on my hands at home with the children after work, and so he stays out late sometimes to be with his side chick.
DBM: He knows that you know about his other woman?
Sena: He doesn’t, and I prefer it that way.
DBM: Why is that?
Sena: It gives me time to also ponder over what I want.
DBM: What do you want?
Sena: I want to revive the old me that was sexually expressive and fun to be with.
DBM: Can’t you revive that you with your husband in bed?
Sena: I don’t know how to explain this, but I feel like my husband is the one killing my wild fire with boredom.
DBM: Have you discussed this with him?
Sena: He is the ‘I know it all’ kind of men. He has his other woman probably because he feels I am boring in bed.
DBM: Are you boring in bed?
Sena: With him in our bed, yes; sex suddenly becomes tiring and uninteresting.
DBM: Are you feeling this way because he’s chosen another woman in addition to you?
Sena: Not at all. I have lived my life in such a way that, I love to challenge myself. My husband doesn’t challenge our sex life the way I was used to. That is why I have started looking for something else..
DBM: Do you love your husband?
Sena: He is the perfect father for our children.
DBM: Is he the perfect man for you?
Sena: No man is perfect.
DBM: Is he the wisest choice you made for you?
Sena: I am not a one-man woman. I may be unruffled but underneath my cool demeanor rages a voracious sexual appetite. I have realized that, as I grow older my desire for multiple sex partners increases. I have become less picky about how a man should look these days; as long as they are young and can handle me.
DBM: Assuming your husband is reading this conversation, what would you like him to know?
Sena: One thing me and him agree on is, LIFE IS SHORT. And, he knows variety is the spice of life. Dear husband, have a lot of fun; protect yourself with these other girls because I will protect myself to protect you. And, don’t have sex pretty much the same way as you do at home with me: same foreplay, same positions, same routine, same kissing and fondling. It’s boring. Mix it up a little. Guys find out what works on one woman, and they feel it’s applicable on every woman every time. Sex is never the same with every woman.
Image Credit: Nataliya Vaitkevich
