In Sickness And In Health
Jacob: David Good morning
David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Good morning. How are you doing?
Jacob: Am fine. You?
DBM: I am doing alright, thanks.
Jacob: My wife is suffering from the aftermath of a stroke. The doctors assured me that she was going to be bedridden temporarily but it’s been over three years with limited mobility. She’s lost her independence to carry out any form of activity and it’s stressing me out each and every day. I feel so depressed and I feel like it’s depressing her in the process. Her demeanor on the daily has anger written all over it. And she’s unwilling to articulate what is bothering her. I don’t know how to help her.
DBM: Have you ever found your health in a state where your ability to simply care for yourself declines?
Jacob: I don’t think so.
DBM: Your wife is helpless with her new reality. That is the rage of emotions you’re probably witnessing.
Jacob: I understand and I don’t know what else to do
DBM: How old are you?
Jacob: 43
DBM: How old is she?
Jacob: 40
DBM: How long have you been married?
Jacob: 12 years
DBM: What is the story behind her current state?
Jacob: We were struggling to get pregnant after years of trying. Though we both had busy lifestyles and unbearable work commitments, we still made time to get together to actually have a lot of sex, which was fun. She got pregnant in January 2022. She started to bleed profusely after giving birth, and her blood pressure elevated for no reason. The next thing we realized, she was having difficulty speaking. Her face drooped and that was the beginning of her problems.
DBM: How is the baby?
Jacob: He is doing well. Thank you for asking
DBM: Has your wife held her baby yet?
Jacob: No. Her arms are still weak but she’s seeing him grow every day.
DBM: Let me guess, you’ve not had sex with wifey since then?
Jacob: I’ve had to push down the thought of having sex with her on the list of my priorities. It’s not easy, Dave. I don’t cheat. I have never cheated on my wife with another person. So, you can understand why this a bit hard for me. Three years is no joke
DBM: I can only imagine
Jacob: When I found out we were finally going to have a child, I couldn’t wait for that opportunity to raise my baby boy. Dave, it takes enormous responsibility to be an exemplary male figure in a child’s life. I want our little Jason to be what he sees his father do for his mother. My son has to see honor and integrity in me when he sees me. I want him to understand that my relationship with his mother is the most important relationship in my life and I do not intend to treat it casually. I am glad he’s seeing my commitment to his mother not as optional.
DBM: You sound like a decent man.
Jacob: I don’t want to be a liar, Dave. No one cheats without becoming deceitful on some level. Cheating and lying go hand in hand. If I tell my wife I’m working late at the office on any given day, I make sure it isn’t a half truth that I would later have to redefine the ‘working’ so I can silence a compromised conscience. Marriage is no laughing matter, especially, now, for me. This version of ‘in sickness and in health’ is quite trying for me right now.
DBM: You need to hold on someway, somehow, and trust the process. As sure as everything in life somehow, changes, so does marriage. Try not to give up on her
Jacob: I’m really trying. Ugh, Dave, you’re making me teary. It’s not easy at all.
DBM: Take things one day at a time, and continue to do the very best you can to do right by yourself, do right by your wife; do right by little Jason, and most importantly, by GOD. He comes through for those open to do their best to practice acceptance, patience and empathy in times like these.
Jacob: I hope so
DBM: Everything is going to be alright. Learn to live through this difficult phase in your marriage and take control of the narrative. Don’t let your wife’s sudden inability and transition to take control over your emotions and actions.
Jacob: Thank you
DBM: Do you mind if I pray for you?
Jacob: Please pray for me
DBM: I pray the Lord to give you enough grace, so much patience and endurance to be a loving support to your wife through this difficult time. I pray the Lord to wrap your home in His ever-protective presence, and remind you each and every day of His boundless and unfailing love. May the Lord comfort you in your pain, may He ease your wife’s suffering and give her enough strength to endure this severe illness. I pray the Lord to restore her body, cell by cell, and let His river of peace attend to her troubled mind. May the Lord hold you and Jason so close to Himself. By faith in the name of Jesus, you and your wife are made strong. I pray the Lord Jesus to heal your wife – for little Jason’s sake. I pray the Lord to heal your wife – for your own sake. I pray the Lord to heal your wife – for His name’s sake, because He loves us and desires to answer our prayers if only, we will come unto Him and ask. This we ask in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, who will receive all the glory when she is healed. We seek to praise You, O Lord, in that healing. Amen!
Jacob: Amen.
Image Credit: Danily UK
