Tag: Pursuit

Landing A Rich Man

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

David, how are you doing? So, I am going to try to be as honest as possible to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth; so, help me God. There came a time in my life that I had to reinvent myself with the sole aim of landing a rich man. I needed to be a rich man’s wife because I was sick and tired of being a bank teller. I felt like I also deserved to eat at top restaurants and drink the finest wines. I have been married for six years and my husband is filthy loaded. I targeted him because he has crazy money. Luckily for me, he is very attractive too.

I had been playing under the guise of just wanting a man who had his shit together but that wasn’t the whole truth. Though I wouldn’t consider myself to be shallow, I have a hunger for the finer things in life. I love life. I love money. I love to dress good. I love to smell good. I love jewelry. I love great shoes and bags. I want to co-own a beautiful house. I want to drive nice car. I want my children to have everything I never had. And I came to realize later on that, most rich men are willing to pay for someone extremely beautiful and nice to look at and also, fuck.

Love clearly isn’t the most important thing to me. I am a very beautiful woman and I know what the tradeoffs are when dealing with some of these guys with serious money and assets. What I found attractive about miŋɛ was the fact that his utterances weren’t the type that had to buy a fantasy of a better version of himself. He didn’t like talking about or flaunting his wealth. He was just like the everyday person and wasn’t doing or saying too much to make lesser folks feel jealous.

We bumped into each other at a mutual friend’s destination wedding and I could tell he was rich. He smelled rich. He looked simple and average but his demeanor was rich. I needed to test my assumption, and so, I walked towards him with a question, ‘Hello. My name is …. Can you give me an advice on money?’ He smiled with a confused look on his face but I wasn’t smiling back at him. I pretended to be serious and interested to learn. He gave a simple response, “Make sure the money coming in your bank account each month is way higher than the money going out.” I thanked him and politely walked away.
I didn’t speak with him again throughout the reception. When I got to my hotel that evening, there were lovely flowers and a card waiting for me, telling me how beautiful I looked and his willingness to want to teach me more about financial independence if I was still interested. The card had his phone number. I don’t know how he did it, but he managed to find information about me to locate me with beautiful flowers. We talked on phone so many times in a day for two months before asking me to marry him.

He made me understand he had been single because his main goal and focus was to make money. Due to that, he avoided ladies and had never seriously gotten involved in dating anyone. Now that his wealth is wealthing, he was ready to find true love. His proposal caught me off guard. I wasn’t ready to be proposed to. He told me how much he loved me and I had to tell him how calculating I was during the wedding reception. It was just his money and dick I was after and nothing else. I was expecting him to disrespect me, especially being from a lower class but no. He did not disregard or disrespect me for being poor and calculating. Instead, he offered me a dream to live in the present. Dave, sometimes, I wake up at dawn to pinch myself as reminder of how lucky I am in this life.

The day I walked down the aisle, we both knew I wasn’t marrying for love, and he was okay with that. He understood how much I cared for him as a person but was in love with his money. We built a happy relationship on his wealth for three years before I started falling in love with him naturally. The day I told him I believed I was falling in love with him was the first time I ever saw him cry. He told me he suspected I was falling in love with him because apparently, I had been flirting with him for months and was showing genuine signs of wanting to be with him.
Though I was contributing nothing to the table then, he still saw me as his equal.

Image Credit: Kebs-Visuals

Let’s Talk To Conrad

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog. 3 Comments

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 73: Conrad

DBM: Hi Conrad. How would you describe yourself?

Conrad: I have an exhilarating personality and a decent earning capacity. I am hardworking, and hard to be pushed around by people. I have a wife and children. I hope this cuts it?

DBM: It does. How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

Conrad: 12

DBM: What do you want to talk about?

Conrad: The woman I married is my dream come true, and I love her to bits. However, I never thought in a million years that I’d be tempted to cheat on her. I have not cheated yet, but the urge is so strong, I do not know how to control myself. I feel guilty about what is happening to me now, but at the same time, tickled.

DBM: Who is the other woman tickling your fancy?

Conrad: She’s an old friend who works with our partner company.

DBM: Do you have a history with her that goes beyond friendship?

Conrad: No

DBM: So, what has changed now?

Conrad: She’s grown, and looks more attractive and appealing to my urges

DBM: Describe your urges

Conrad: It has sex in there. It has love in there. It has mixed feelings of happiness and sadness. I can’t explain it

DBM: What is really triggering your sudden interest in her?

Conrad: I was at the office working when a medium-sized red envelope, addressed to me was presented by my assistant. I opened it and it had a used, yellow lace underwear, with a floral embroidery, aesthetically placed mesh and suavely crafted patterns on it. Inside the envelope was also a photo of how the lingerie would be worn, a house key and a note which read, ‘who am I?’

DBM: Who was it from?

Conrad: I don’t know, Dave, but I am tuned on by it

DBM: I see

Conrad: I’ve been trying to find the mystery woman for the past two weeks.

DBM: When was it sent to you?

Conrad: Two weeks ago

DBM: You’re sure it’s not from your wife?

Conrad: She was the first name that came to mind, but then, the envelope also contained a house key. That is not my house key. My guess is the lady I am talking about now

DBM: Have you asked her?

Conrad: I have tried beating about the bush with it but she’s not forthcoming with information.

DBM: Do you know where she lives?

Conrad: I know she lives at Spintex

DBM: It could also be any of your secret admirers at work

Conrad: True, but I want it to be this lady. Dave, when I sniff the underwear, I smell sweet pheromones which makes me want to put it back on the body that wore it. I am attracted to the scent of her body, and would want to smell her vagina.

DBM: That’s just TMI

Conrad: What’s TMI?

DBM: Too much information

Conrad: Lol!

DBM: Wait, you still have the underwear?

Conrad: Of course. I have to find the house, with the door and lock for the key

DBM: How long have you been married?

Conrad: Some years. I don’t want to say. My wife may come across this chat if you publish it

DBM: Does the other woman know you are married?

Conrad: Yes, I think

DBM: Have you told her you are married?

Conrad: No!

DBM: Are you enjoying your marriage?

Conrad: I am in a loving, happy marriage. Me and my wife make it point to put in as much time and energy, when it comes to building and rebooting a conscious relationship

DBM: So, you’re in a committed relationship then?

Conrad: You can say that

DBM: If your marriage isn’t boring you to death, why are you thinking about another woman?

Conrad: Dave, I am not looking for an affair. I am just finding it difficult to say ‘no’ to this yellow-lingerie puzzle.

DBM: You say no by throwing it away in the trash bin

Conrad: It’s not that simple. I desire to find the mystery woman behind this underwear. And it would be thrilling to make her wear it in my presence. This is an opportunity for me to do something I’m not supposed to do. I don’t think it’s going to involve any deep emotional bond after locating her.

DBM: What makes you so sure?

Conrad: We flirt on phone a lot, in spite of my best intentions to be just her friend

DBM: How would you feel if you discovered your wife was in search of the mystery man who left her a package of his used boxers?

Conrad: Dave

DBM: Conrad, if the idea of being cheated on would make you feel sad or brokenhearted, then you have to consider not acting on your impulse.

Conrad: Can I tell you something truthfully?

DBM: Yes please

Conrad: I find my wife attractive, and I value our relationship. I do not want to destroy the life that we have created together. The temptation I am dealing with right now is also real. I believe I can have sex with another woman that I am physically attracted to, and still love my wife.

DBM: To what gain?

Conrad: Personal satisfaction. Let me explain what I said further: When my first child was born, I thought I would never love another the way I did. Then the second child came, and I realized I could actually add to the love I felt. A man’s heart has enough room to love more than just one person. I will not stop loving my wife because I am chasing after another woman, I am interested in.

DBM: I concur. Can you be upfront and honest with your wife about your puzzled urge to find this mystery woman?

Conrad: I can but I won’t

DBM: Why not?

Conrad: Because I am mature enough to keep my wife and a lover in two separate boxes in my mind. This has nothing to do with anything. It’s simply something I want to do for myself; an amazing experience I want for just me.

Image Credit: Victor Candiani

Let’s Talk To Milk & Honey

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 59: Milk & Honey

DBM: Hello Milk ‘n’ Honey. How would you describe yourself?

M&H: I am not the type that falls into the ruse that buying or having the next nice thing will give me the gratification I may be looking for in life. I am okay if people do not choose me to hang out with. I am okay if others have fun without me. I do not attribute my worth to my social presence. I eat healthy and nutritious meals, I drink a lot of water, my mental health is of utmost concern to me; I make sure I am feeling good inside and out, I hardly would take anything too personally or to heart to hurt my feelings. My daily routine is to strive to be better than I was the day before.

DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

M&H: 8.5 over 10, I think.

DBM: What do you want to talk about?

M&H: I’ve had my fair share of being in ridiculous relationships, whereby I was prioritizing love over respect, trust and affection. My third relationship, actually was my wake-up-call to the fact that, being in love with a man should not be the reason for me to stay in a relationship with him. I tolerated certain behaviors in my past relationships that I shouldn’t have, and finally made the difficult decision not to force my heart to people who didn’t deserve my love. I decided to be a single mother if I weren’t dating or married to a solid guy by the age of 36.

DBM: How old are you today?

M&H: 36

DBM: I see

M&H: And I am eight months pregnant.

DBM: Oh, wow! You, did it?

M&H: I did.

DBM: Congratulations!

M&H: Thank you!

DBM: You’re in a relationship, I guess?

M&H: No!

DBM: Okay?

M&H: Five days before ovulation last year, I had sex with someone. I had already made plans with myself to have a baby, and so I decided to find the ‘perfect’ candidate to sleep with during my fertile window.

DBM: ‘Perfect candidate’ meaning?

M&H: He had to be intelligent, kind, courageous and creative.

DBM: Is this a random guy or you already knew him?

M&H: I know him. He’s a friend and colleague from work.

DBM: Is he single?

M&H: No, he’s married.

DBM: I see

M&H: There was and is nothing going on between us.

DBM: So, why did he agree to this?

M&H: He doesn’t know he is responsible for my pregnancy

DBM: But he knows he had unprotected sex with you, no?

M&H: I don’t know. But he knows we had sex that one time

DBM: Really?

M&H: We were slightly tipsy, I think

DBM: Were you drunk?

M&H: Not really, but he was.

DBM: You did not plan this with him, you also mentioned nothing ever going on between you two; how did you manage to get him to sleep with you?

M&H: As I said, he is my friend. I knew his hangouts with friends that weekend. I just happened to be there that evening while they partied.

DBM: Where did the sex happen?

M&H: In my car.

DBM: What was his reaction after the sex?

M&H: We’ve not talked about it.

DBM: He sees you pregnant though, no?

M&H: Yes. He’s congratulated me and is happy for me and the baby-daddy.

DBM: Which baby-daddy?

M&H: Everyone at work thinks I have a secret boyfriend.

DBM: Smh! Including him?

M&H: Especially him. I had to sell that storyline.

DBM: He’s buying it?

M&H: Not sure, because he’s started befriending my girlfriends and asking questions about my imaginary boyfriend.

DBM: Your girlfriends know about your plan?

M&H: Nobody knows.

DBM: So, you truly got pregnant after the action in your car with him?

M&H: Yes!

DBM: That was quick

M&H: I wasn’t sure I was ready to be a mother, even though I had planned the process to the last detail.

DBM: How did you feel when you found out you were expecting?

M&H: I was in shock. I sobbed for hours because I couldn’t believe it could happen to me. I am going to love this baby with all of my heart.

DBM: Are you going to involve the father at any point in time?

M&H: No! I am raising her all by myself.

DBM: It’s a girl?

M&H: Yes! I am having a princess, and she’s going to be the greatest blessing of my life.

DBM: Why don’t you want to involve the guy?

M&H: Dave, I have a mind of my own. I am financially stable and can take care of my needs and that of the baby’s. I am up for the challenge as a single mother, and do not need to depend on him. I take responsibility for my own actions and happiness. Most importantly; I do not think I need a man to feel complete.

DBM: Okay!

M&H: Also, I know he has a girlfriend. A man cheating on his wife is an evidence to me that, he will resort to the same behavior after giving him my attention. I am not settling for a flawed connection.

DBM: Understood. Why did you want to chat with me?

M&H: My pregnancy scenario may not be the best example, but I knew what my dream was. I knew what my life needed the most at this point in time. It was a plan I could achieve, though babies are a gift. I want to encourage anyone with a plan in mind or a dream, to follow through with the steps in pursuing their passions. You can turn your reality into something you believe can make you happy. We are never going to make everyone in our lives happy, no matter what we do or say. That is why we have to realize that, we are the only ones in our lives to understand our decisions and choices; our deepest fears and wishes. Only you know what’s in your best interest.

DBM: I concur.

Image Credits: A&C Photos

Let’s Talk To Akos

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog. 3 Comments

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 36: It’s Akos for the meantime.

DBM: Hi Akosua. Please tell me a little about yourself

Akos: I am my own boss and I set my own schedule. I’ve not given up any amount of my freedom because of marriage. I am in control of my sexual liberation; I warm the minds, bodies and wallets of my clients; I own a beauty shop; 37 years of age, and holds a Master’s in Cosmetic Science and Technology from the Beijing Technology and Business University.

DBM: I’ve spoken to four of your best friends. Did you read my conversations with them?

Akos: I read everything.

DBM: And?

Akos: You invited us to present our true selves to you and your readers, and they shared exactly that; their opinions, feelings, desires and needs. I’m here to also speak for myself.

DBM: How important is education to you and your friends?

Akos: It’s our fundamental rights, whether we have sex with men or not. We’ve gained the relevant skills in our various specialties to enable us offer services to others, and most importantly, earn a livelihood. And our joint agreement as friends was to at least, get our Master’s degrees. So far, so good.

DBM: Are you in a relationship?

Akos: Yes!

DBM: And he knows you keep other men company for money?

Akos: He does

DBM: He’s okay with it?

Akos: He actually supports my work. He understands the importance of making a man feel chirpy and cheerful.

DBM: How did you meet?

Akos: He was a client, and he fell in love with me. He says, with me he feels desired and wanted. And I give him more than just sex.

DBM: What could be more than sex?

Akos: Pleasure

DBM: Was he single when you first met?

Akos: He is not married.

DBM: Okay?

Akos: I work very hard, so he helps me to relax and feel good about myself.

DBM: What does he do for a living?

Akos: He’s a medical doctor

DBM: Help me understand how he gets to be okay with the type of work you do

Akos: After he expressed interest in me, I asked him how many people he had had sex with. His answer was more than 80.

DBM: When was this?

Akos: 2017

DBM: And, how old was he?

Akos: 33

DBM: How many men had you slept with by then?

Akos: Probably half of his figure.

DBM: Are you in love with him?

Akos: I think so

DBM: Do you always give in to his sexual demands?

Akos: No! It’s not everyday that I find him sexually appetizing. But I am always the one who comes back and suggests we fuck, after the no.

DBM: Is he also sleeping with other people?

Akos: He is, but it’s commitment-free with them. He is constantly checking out other ladies and flirting excessively with them. He loves getting close to pretty girls.

DBM: It doesn’t bother you?

Akos: I’m okay with the fact that he makes time for me. He answers the phone any time I call; even when he’s on top of another woman – he will answer my call. He returns home to me at the end of the day; he is interested in my life and what I do with it; he adds so much more than depth and bliss to my 24/7 living. He understands and receives my love and care for him; he’s present to me during hard times; he pays attention to my concerns, always encouraging me to chase after my dreams; we love to discus our sexual exploits after we’ve been with different people; he understands I love being in the company of different men, and he contributes a lot to our relationship and home. What else do I want? He makes me laugh.

DBM: So, he’s emotionally available to you?

Akos: He opens up to me. He’s made me see him and know him for who he is. He’s introduced me to his mother and brothers; he includes my opinions in his thought processes and I think he trusts me.

DBM: Do you trust him?

Akos: I can count on the fact that he’s going to screw up, but he’s also the kind of man who is going to dust himself off after messing up just to make it right by me. We’re both freaking out about our feelings for each other, but the thing is there.

DBM: What thing?

Akos: Love.

DBM: How did he introduce you to his family

Akos: He just said, this is the lady I can’t stop thinking about

DBM: That’s sweet

Akos: Dave, I love myself enough to want to love this guy. I believe in true love, and I think when my man stares right in my face, I see love in his eyes if I don’t look the other way. I used to be scared of falling in love.

DBM: What about love scared you?

Akos: I didn’t know how to place myself in a vulnerable situation where I could be easily hurt. I was also skeptical about getting what I had always hoped for, and probably messing it all up. What I share with this guy is everything that I’ve ever imagined for my soul mate. He gets me, and I get him.

DBM: Is marriage something of interest to the both of you?

Akos: No! He’s already adding value to my life. Marriage will only complicate things for me

DBM: How so?

Akos: I am not sexually exclusive to him; I don’t have eyes for only him. My crazy imaginations and sexual intimacies are not with only him.

DBM: How about children?

Akos: I don’t want any. He has a child though.

DBM: At what age did you start being with other men?

Akos: Early twenties.

DBM: Your family is aware of what you do?

Akos: They know I own a beauty shop.

DBM: What has been your worst experience with a client?

Akos: I was booked by a murderer who wasn’t interested in any bullshit cuddling; just wild, nasty, sweaty sex for an hour. He gave me a bag full of money after he finished; it was weird for someone to pay so much money for an hour. The following week, I read in the newspaper about his arrest for killing his girlfriend the afternoon of the evening we met.

DBM: What was his story?

Akos: His girlfriend had cheated on him with his best friend.

DBM: How did that make you feel?

Akos: I took out my sexual frustration on my boyfriend and fucked him till we broke the bed.

DBM: How is that therapeutic?

Akos: Rough sex can sometimes be my coping mechanism. It helps me heal and find peace from moment to moment.

DBM: When a client is ugly, or a total turn off, how do you manage?

Akos: Money talks, and fortunately for me, I speak its language

DBM: Does your job have any effect on the intimate relationship you have with your boyfriend?

Akos: I fake orgasms with most of the clients. I reach real orgasm with my man

DBM: Does it ever get boring?

Akos: With clients?

DBM: Yes

Akos: It happens; it comes with the territory

DBM: What’s your long-term goal?

Akos: I have plans to retire, and have established a lifetime income stream that equals my expenses. I also have a few investments and rental properties.

DBM: Does the thought of contracting an STI never occur to you?

Akos: I practice safe sex and personal hygiene

DBM: What if the condom slips off or tears during intercourse?

Akos: I take numerous showers every day; I wash my lower body with water after sex of any kind. I always urinate and wash the outside of my vagina with water. And luckily for me, my general practitioner is the guy I wake up next to, every morning.

DBM: If you could go back in time to choose a future career all over again…

Akos: My experience with men has taught me that, guys are generally not good with their own feelings. And women are not entirely naïve about what our men want from us. I like getting paid to provide comfort, warmth and care. I feel good when a client tells me, I’ve brought him to order. It’s not an easy job to opt for; it requires more thought in order not to take a step in the wrong direction.

DBM: Do you always say yes to a job order?

Akos: I don’t put needless pressure on myself because of money. I have said no a lot of the time for safety’s sake. I protect my time and energy when I decline these clients.

DBM: Do you think a man will ever be content with one woman?

Akos: A man whose desire to protect surges when he thinks about the one person he cares about, will shield his love interest from any form of pain. They will never consider deliberately wounding their spouse, because they know their wives deserve better. These are the kinds of men women should go for – because they’re content with what they see in them.

DBM: Are you happy with your life and the choices you’ve made thus far?

Akos: For me, it’s the littlest things that makes me feel happy; when I am able to spot the positive in a situation; when I win a new client over and he’s unable to stop smiling; when I am able to overcome a challenge; the fact that I can forgive myself for my mistakes; when I am able to try something new that freaks me out at the same time; and when I give myself so much love.

Image Credit: Bella Zhong

CUT MYSELF SOME SLACK

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog. 3 Comments

I used to think my wife was the most difficult person on earth to love. I thought this way because the first time I saw her, she was screaming at her staff. I knew a friend who worked for her and he had categorically told me she was a bitch; unkind, annoying and controlling. From the first day I met her, I could tell she wasn’t anybody’s favorite at the office. I was at her office because my friend had informed me about her relationship status; she was single. And Dave, I was quite a catch back in the day, ‘ladies’ man’ and all… Lol! So, the plan was for me to come in a professional capacity (I am an architect) to discuss a potential business partnership, go the extra mile to become friendly, win her heart, use and then, dump her.

My friend and his three other colleagues at the office had it all planned for me. They had an office project to execute and they were going to propose the name of my company to her for consideration for the job. My office got a call to meet with their team for further discussions. My wife once told me that, the first time we met at her office, she thought I was so handsome, and the way I looked and smiled at her, she thought she would lose herself in me. That was my wife’s observations about me. When our eyes first met, Dave, you wouldn’t believe this but my heart pounded; yes, Mr. Playboy’s heart felt like it would burst.

I wasn’t thinking about the plan with the boys; I wasn’t thinking about the potential business partnership, which made my business a lot of money; I wasn’t thinking about how rude she was to her staff; I was swept off my meet when I had the opportunity to sit across her table in her office. I was never a believer of ‘Love at first sight’ but I fell in love with her in her office. There was a connection of a sort when our eyes met. I can’t explain it but it was what it was.

We talked business and wrapped things off. I asked for her number and she gave it. When I got back to my office, I called my friend to lie about what had transpired. They believed we were still on course. Two dates later, I was convinced I had made the right decision. My friend found himself another job two years later, and I married my wife a year after my friend had left her company.

I think what made my wife lovable was because I CHOSE to LOVE her. It had absolutely nothing to do with who she was (according to other people’s experiences with her at the office – which obviously wasn’t great) but my capacity to want to know her for myself and like her according to my own understanding of her as a person. My wife is a great woman, very hard working and it didn’t feel right to plot with my friend to hurt her. I was willing to choose love instead of giving in to someone else’s hatred and anger.

We’ve been married for 12 years, and my unconditional love has come from a place of decision. It’s not been all rosy; she’s gotten under my skin and nerves many times. There was a time she wanted a divorce because she didn’t think she loved me anymore. I love her, and I was going to love her even if she didn’t love me back, and there was nothing she could do about it. She naaa found her love back for me. I chose to like her; I chose to forgive her on behalf of my friend and his colleagues; I chose to be nice to her; I chose to do right by her; I chose to respect her; I chose to be her friend. I was a total foolish package myself in the day, and I learned how to cut myself some slack. I had to nurture the good within in order to find the good in her, and trust me, there is so much good in my wife.

At this moment, there is no looking back, no second thoughts, and no regrets.

Image Credit: Polina Tankilevitch

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