Let’s Talk To Uzoma
David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)
Participant 119: My name na Uzoma
DBM: Hi Uzoma. How would you describe yourself?
Uzoma: Fine Nigerian man with a wife and children inside Banana Island. I think I have a warm fuzzy in my heart.
DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?
Uzoma: 8
DBM: What do you want to talk about?
Uzoma: I’m not advertising myself; I am not trying to indirectly tell any woman how to feel about me. In fact, I am happily married; let me just put that one across. When I married my wife, one of her Aunties gave her this piece of advice during our wedding reception, ‘do not expect too much from your husband oo, Chiamaka, if you do not want to be disappointed someday’. My wife’s name is Chiamaka, which means, ‘God is good’. David, as a man who has been true to Chiamaka for the past 11 years of marriage, contrary to her aunt’s advice, I think every woman should rather expect a whole lot of a great deal from the men they’re in relationships with – and not for a second, be expecting disappointments. Good men should not be hard to find. And all the wonderful men aren’t already taken.
DBM: How old are you?
Uzoma: 43
DBM: Continue …
Uzoma: I’ve come across a dozen women who have told me to the face, ‘Uzo, I long for you.’ And all these women know I am married. Some even are friends with Chiamaka, yet find me desirable. When a man truthfully loves his wife, and is being loved back by her, the best version of himself shines through. As I chat with you now, I feel like I’m alive because this morning, Chiamaka caressed my loins, held me tight, kissed my lips, sucked out my third leg almost to tears, and rode me with so much confidence – I cum harder than a quickie. Then before stepping out to my car, she smiled at me and whispered love to my ears. A different woman will see me today and just assume I’m a fine man; but do they know the cause of my fineness? Chiamaka’s watered garden is what is bearing fruits to their admiration.
DBM: Hehehe. You’re funny 😊
Uzoma: It’s the truth, David. Nigerian men love mekwe
DBM: Have you cheated on your wife before?
Uzoma: Never
DBM: Why not?
Uzoma: Whenever I catch another woman checking me out, my heart billows with so much pride. In fact, I get excited because Chiamaka is working the right number on me.
DBM: Why do you think most men are not so clear lately about what it means to be true and of good character?
Uzoma: Again, let me use my Chiamaka as an example. When we considered dating, she took kpansh with me off the table. She wasn’t a virgin; I wasn’t either. It was a decision she had made, not to sleep with me. Today’s woman is all about celebrating her sexual freedom. I’m all for it but what she’s not aware of is that, her liberty to do whatever with herself is what is giving us men dominance to misbehave and get away with things on the sex market. If the milk was supplied me for free, what’s the relevance in revering the cow? To answer your question, I respect my wife so much to think of disappointing her. I fear letting her down. It will hurt my feelings to betray her trust in me. She’s the only inspiration behind the why I want to get my shid together.
DBM: Because she wasn’t willing to be your sex partner during the dating period?
Uzoma: Because it was impossible to pressure her into having sex with me.
DBM: I see
Uzoma: We had our first sex only because she wanted to sleep with me.
DBM: How long into the relationship?
Uzoma: After nine months
DBM: Why did she give in?
Uzoma: I’m guessing it had become clear to her that I was in for the long haul.
DBM: Are you for sex before or after getting married?
Uzoma: I am all for shagging
DBM: I see. What else is there to you?
Uzoma: As I said already, I love me some Chiamaka, and though we live under the same roof, we have different characters. At work, I’m one of the best team players, something I am very proud of. That is why when my wife suggested we hired a help to assist us at home, I said no. A house help, in my opinion, would have destroyed the level of teamwork that we share now at home. And I didn’t want at any point to feel like any of us were neglecting our duties. One thing I don’t know how to do is to cook. My wife is great at that, so whenever I get home, I show my gratitude in other ways. I talk and play with the children, help with their homework, and put them to bed every night, etc. On weekends, I clean the windows of the house, I help with laundry, I clean the toilets and bathrooms, the cars, take out trash, make the bed, etc. I’m basically saying, I sweep, I mop and dust
DBM: What’s your profession?
Uzoma: I’m a Petroleum Engineer. Chiamaka is a Financial Analyst
DBM: You’re both busy
Uzoma: We are
DBM: How many kids?
Uzoma: 3. Two boys and a girl
DBM: Interesting
Uzoma: When I get home from work, I put the pride aside and just humble myself before my wife and children. For 11 years I’ve been lending Chiamaka a helping hand at home, and it has helped our marriage a lot. My home is peaceful, clean, happy, fun, lively, and engaging. My wife feels relaxed, calm and excited to jump into bed with me at the end of each day.
DBM: I think you’re a good man, sir
Uzoma: Thank you, David. I try.
DBM: What are you most proud of?
Uzoma: I smile when at the end of the day, my wife gets to call her mom and mine to say hello. Being each other’s help-mate gives her hands time to check on others. I’m also proud of myself when I sacrifice my sleep, sometimes to attend to our daughter or sons – when they wake up at night. I do this so Chiamaka can have enough sleep for work.
DBM: Does putting in the work at home make you any less of a man?
Uzoma: On the contrary, I’ve seen marital problems fade away right before my eyes. I’ve been a witness to the effort Chiamaka puts into making me happy, and I am empowered to even do more for her and our children. I don’t know how to say this, but I think my wife has the keys to my heart. She treats me right
DBM: I would love to have a chat with your wife
Uzoma: I will pass on your message tonight
DBM: Thank you!
Image Credit: Vazhnik
