Tag: The unknown

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 64: Call me Mr.

DBM: Hi Mr. How would you describe yourself?

Mr: A concerned father

DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

Mr: 6

DBM: What do you want to talk about?

Mr: I have a 13-year-old son who acts very girly. When he was younger, my wife caught him a few times dressing like a girl. He would wear his sister’s shoes, paint his nails, wear his mother wigs etc. When he is arguing with his siblings, he claps his hands like an angry woman and can be very dramatic. He rolls his eyes like a girl, pout his lips like a girl, walk like a model, play with his sister’s barbie dolls, the list goes on. My mother visited us one day and saw him cross-dressing. She told my wife to keep an eye on him. My son reminds me so much of my cousin

DBM: What’s wrong with your cousin?

Mr: I don’t want to talk about him

DBM: Does your son still act that way in his teens?

Mr: Not so much to my knowledge. But he still acts girly, paints his lips and nails sometimes. He likes wearing tight clothes to show his curves. I think he’s having a hard time in school. He hasn’t said anything to this effect, but I feel like people make fun of him

DBM: What’s his favorite hobby?

Mr: Applying make-up on his sister, female friends, dolls and dressing them up. Someone told me it’s a phase he is going through

DBM: Do you wish for it to be a phase?

Mr: Yes. It’s very embarrassing when we’re in public. Everybody notices the elephant in our midst.

DBM: What does your wife think of him?

Mr: We’re both afraid of the probability of him ending up like my cousin who is rumored to be a homosexual.

DBM: How many kids do you have?

Mr: A boy and a girl, two.

DBM: Have you asked him why he is always behaving like a girl?

Mr: Yes. He says he doesn’t know how to act boyish like his male friends. The least thing, and he’s crying. He thinks everybody is against him.

DBM: Does it look like everybody is against him?

Mr: We do that on purpose sometimes at home. We have tried to expose him to boyish ideas but he doesn’t seem to change.

DBM: Explain the ‘trying to expose him to boyish ideas …’

Mr: We forced him to act like a boy

DBM: And, was he interested in your ideas?

Mr: No. He felt attacked and would cry

DBM: He was uncomfortable

Mr: We’re also uncomfortable with his way of life. What else can a parent do in such a situation?

DBM: Stop forcing him into the boy role

Mr: We are a Christian household living by this scripture, ‘train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.’ (Prov. 22:6.) I want him to be the boy who will grow into a man, to love a woman

DBM: Did your parents have a hand in your decision to love your wife?

Mr: No

DBM: Why do you want to involve yourself in your son’s future love life?

Mr: He needs to know what is right and wrong

DBM: What is right?

Mr: A boy has to act like a boy

DBM: How do boys act?

Mr: They act straight, and like girls

DBM: You want my candid opinion?

Mr: Yes

DBM: Teach your son how to be a great human being, and just be patient with him.

Mr: I want to teach him how to be a great BOY

DBM: And, what if your boy is created to be more in touch with his feminine side?

Mr: What if I don’t want that?

DBM: What if that is what makes him his own person, and would need his father and mother help him to be comfortable with who he is?

Mr: Who he is gravitating towards to is in Genesis 19:1-38

DBM: What is in Genesis 19?

Mr: Sodom and Gomorrah

DBM: Those are names of cities

Mr: Dave, you know the story I am talking about.

DBM: You, just like the others in church practice selective outrage. You pick scriptures from the Bible that you can run to – to justify your positions against same gender attraction and love. Sodom and Gomorrah is not a story about homosexuality. It’s a lesson on violence, rape (a mob of men wanting to assault innocent Angels/men). Your son growing up to fall in love with another guy (should that be his path) has nothing whatsoever to do with a crowd of guys trying to rape somebody in Genesis 19.

Mr: You’re misinterpreting the verse

DBM: I am just telling you my understanding of the scripture you quoted. In Genesis 19:6-8, Lot goes out to meet the angry mob at his entrance and begs them to rather rape his two virgin daughters. It’s a shame that some of you so-called Christians would rather identify homosexuality in that scripture, but not address the sexual violence against women and men.

Mr: God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah. That is what I don’t want to happen to my son

DBM: Those cities were destroyed by GOD because of their pride, idolatry, wickedness, corruption, lack of empathy and care for the poor and needy. Read Ezekiel 16:49-50

Mr: Let’s end this argument; it’s not heading anywhere for me

DBM: I do not know the Will of GOD for your son, but please do not stress yourself too much about him being gay. At 13 years, he is still too young to determine his sexual orientation.

Mr: What if he ends up becoming what I fear the most?

DBM: Then you face your fears like a man. Fear usually sprawls from not knowing very much about that very thing we fear. Get close to your son to know him more; talk to/with your son to understand how he thinks and feels; make him feel like you accept and love him for whomever he is. GOD blessed you with this child as an opportunity to teach him about unconditional love and acceptance.

Image Credits: Monstera