Break Time
Anna: Hello David
David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Hey! How are you doing?
Anna: Not fine
DBM: What would make your day a bit fine?
Anna: I’m not sure at the moment
DBM: What’s on your mind?
Anna: I am being tempted to harm my husband. I want to hurt him so bad
DBM: We are not going to do that
Anna: Dave, if I am to tell you what he’s done
DBM: We’re still not going on that evil route. What will make you not execute that thought?
Anna: If I’m out of the house
DBM: Great! So, that’s what we’re going to plan. Are you open to that?
Anna: Yes
DBM: You have children?
Anna: Yes.
DBM: How old?
Anna: 7 and 9
DBM: Do you work?
Anna: Yes
DBM: What is your relationship like with your employer?
Anna: We’ve developed a meaningful one
DBM: Okay! Do you have a car?
Anna: I do
DBM: Do you have a personal rainy-day fund set aside for emergencies?
Anna: I have a personal savings account.
DBM: That your husband doesn’t know of?
Anna: Yes
DBM: You’re a smart woman. Marriage can be very complicated; reasons why I hope every woman would maintain a separate bank account even after opening a joint one with their partners for shared bills and other household purchases. You maintain that sense of financial independence. You also feel empowered, knowing you have claims to your own money.
Anna: I agree with you
DBM: How many days do you think you would need to clear your head?
Anna: Three weeks. Maybe, a month. I don’t know
DBM: Do you have the perfect excuse in your head that you feel your employers can buy into – to give you days off?
Anna: Not really. I don’t want to discuss my marital issues with people I know
DBM: Understood. Do you have any medical doctor friends?
Anna: I know of two
DBM: Two that you are close to?
Anna: I am very close to one. The other is just a friend of a friend.
DBM: Would the one you’re close to be willing to authenticate a report or note to excuse you from work for a month?
Anna: She would want to know why I need a fake report for work
DBM: Can you trust her with your problems?
Anna: Maybe.
DBM: You’re considering harming your husband. That is a mental health issue. At least, you know what you’re working with. Help her find reason in supporting your claim for a month off-work. She can come up with the perfect note to address the burnout you’re currently feeling.
Anna: Ok
DBM: Everything is going to be alright
Anna: How do you know?
DBM: I just know.
Anna: I was really going to poison his drink or meal. He would have been placed in a medically induced coma and never woken up from it. My husband has broken my heart, Dave, and I am willing to make his heart stop.
DBM: But how are you able to get your hands on such chemicals?
Anna: A friend of mine who is a nurse gave me options to choose from. They know the types of solutions to use for these kinds of assignments to remove the brute strength of a toxic, philandering man from the equation. And it can be difficult to detect their cause of death.
DBM: I see. If you’re able to secure a date for your one-month absence from work, where do you intend to go?
Anna: I’m not even sure. Maybe the Volta or Western Regions. I also have a visa to travel to two countries. I could choose that option.
DBM: Perfect. So, two or three days before you leave, cook as much food for the house. Store your soups and stews in the freezer. Prepare enough sauces, stews and soups to last for at least, three weeks. Fry or grill enough proteins to accompany the sauces. Your husband can cook rice, no?
Anna: Yes
DBM: Make food present at home in your absence.
Anna: I will do that.
DBM: Do their laundry before leaving. Including that of your husband’s
Anna: David, you’re asking too much of me
DBM: He is your husband
Anna: I do not consider him as my husband anymore
DBM: But legally, he is, no?
Anna: Yes
DBM: He is your husband. You will do his laundry too. And if possible, iron his clothes for work.
Anna: I will think about that.
DBM: You’d have to do a general cleaning of the house. Leave the house in a clean state.
Anna: I will try. I want to take the kids along
DBM: No! You’re leaving them behind
Anna: I can’t do that
DBM: You can and you will. Your mind and soul need a holiday. This is the perfect opportunity to stop doing for others, so you can delight yourself and best interest instead. Your children fall in the category of ‘others’. It’s time to enjoy your own good company. This should also help you to put your marriage on a plate to see if it’s really over. You will see more clearly and hear your inner witness more keenly. You will know the truth and the truth will set your heart at peace.
Anna: It’s the leaving my children behind part that is unsettling.
DBM: Is your husband a good father to his children?
Anna: Yes
DBM: Do you believe he knows what is good for his children and would act accordingly?
Anna: Yes
DBM: Do you trust that he has the well-being of his own children at heart?
Anna: Yes
DBM: And do your children know that no matter what you will do or have done, there is nothing in this world that would diminish your love for them?
Anna: I think so
DBM: Great! So, you are doing this without your children, no?
Anna: Yes.
DBM: Before you leave that day, write a simple note on a piece of paper. Lay your matrimonial bed and leave the note on top of it. You don’t need to detail the specifics of your decision to be absent from home for whatever number of days. Just let him know you need a bit of space between the two of you. Indicate when you’re returning and also tell him about the numerous dishes you’ve prepared for them in storage. Take a picture of the note on the bed and take pictures also of all the meals you will prepare and store. Some men can lie just to throw you under the bus. Have proof on your phone in case he decides to lie to family and friends about you leaving the children behind without food. He will also tell people you left without telling him.
Anna: Thank you, David.
Image Credit: Abstract Photos
