Tag: Women

100% To 50%

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

David, good morning. My husband talks a lot. And because he talks a lot, he lies a lot so that he doesn’t have to sit with himself and listen. He doesn’t realize this but he talks to distract himself from the quiet reality of what the real problem is. He is always trying to ‘fix’ me or other people’s problems but hates it when others do it to him. He did something that broke the jar of trust I used to pour in him. I tried to forgive but I couldn’t, and so I did something almost similar to what he had done and I guess he couldn’t stomach the feelings that my activities invoked within him.

Dave, do you guys for a second consider our feelings when you do shitty stuff in hiding and except us to shoulder the emotional weight of your unhealthy actions? Seriously, it got to a point in our marriage I had to tell myself to stop casting myself as the only human being who could make my husband happy. There are certain unrealistic expectations I refuse to look forward to in a man. It’s an incredible burden women ought not put on themselves. But that doesn’t mean we are a horrible couple.

My husband intentionally broke our bond and was expecting me to heal our wounded marriage. Make this make sense to me. When in reality his initial actions had nothing to do with me. I am not part of the stereotypes strongly crowning women to handle pain better than men. Dave, you guys should know that you have been dishing out hurt, disrespect, betrayals and all forms of abuse to women for centuries. You engage us and think you can do anything and get away with it? Isn’t it humbling even for you to picture the sorts of bullshit your gender is constantly, inflicting on women?

Ask a lot of the women on your platform. Many have become the punching bags of their inconsiderate husbands. They are living with so much frustration because these men are refusing to hear or listen to them when they complain about what they’re doing, or not doing, which is causing them enormous pain. Husbands who have become masters of all sorts of unbearable pain at their home; giving it – not taking it. And you know the annoying part? How you guys would twist the very pain you cause so we feel it’s our fault.

My happiness and peace of mind as a woman, and a wife is not my husband’s responsibility. But if you’re coming to me in the name of love, then your intention should be to contribute or add to my peace and not to disrupt it. Dave, no woman is perfect but the truth is that, if a woman is doing something and she realizes that it’s hurting her man, she would stop it as soon as she finds out. My husband, on the other hand needs a convincing reason to change and it needs to be more compelling than my unhappiness or misery. How wicked can a man be?

The way you speak to, and treat your wife reflects in how she behaves. I don’t know how the universe arranged it but that’s how it is. Your wife will take the form and shape that will reproduce you in ways you have probably never imagined. So, if you start from giving a 100% of you in the relationship, do not shortchange yourself later on to give a 50% because the excitement has faded on your part. Or you suddenly know what’s up because you have come into a little money. Listen, a God-fearing woman naturally is motivated to do what is right by you simply by understanding that her actions or inactions hurt you. If you continue to break her, you will have to learn the hard way – that you are married to a woman who just doesn’t care anymore if her actions hurt or offends you, so long as she gets what she wants. And, she will get what she wants.

Image Credit: Jaycee300s

It’s Not Rocket Science

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

Hey, I have a question. I am a certain guy’s serious woman. He is married but he wants to be with me. I have different men that are attracted to me, including some of his very close friends. I really like some of the guys expressing interest in me but it doesn’t mean I have got to date and sleep with them all. I want to sleep with some but not all, that’s the truth. Sexual pleasures aside, I feel like it would be nice to simply have choices and options. It’s a human thing to desire more than just one. Men can do it; women can do it.

Three guys I am currently considering have the perfect qualities that I want in my men. They’re easygoing and the right dudes to get along with. They are wonderful communicators and very masculine. I am very much the submissive and feminine type of gal and will be loyal to all the men in my life. Luckily for me, they have all proven to be my type and I want to swing them along. Let me also mention that, I am the type that wouldn’t hesitate to discard a man when something better comes along. I can go the extra mile of even having your baby and still move on to something better the next day. That is why I am particular when it comes to the type of man; he has to have the means to take care of a situation in our situation.

The guy who sees me as his serious woman isn’t someone, I truly care for to begin with. I love his ability to provide and make me feel special but I usually date more than one guy before discussing exclusivity. Most of the men who find me attractive are either married or dating. Dave, I know you’re already thinking I am being a total cunt by dating multiple men behind their backs. I don’t want them to know. Guys take offense when they realize the woman they’re sleeping with or dating is entertaining other dudes. I don’t want any one to feel like they’re just an option I am leading on for the while to later deny.

I feel like women know when they find their person. I am not talking about a crush that any man would easily know without us having to say it blatantly. The crush many of us ladies fake to draw your attention when you have the goods/little money to make us feel comfortable is not subtle when it comes to making you know that we have the hots for you. Usually, this kind of hots is not for your heart but wallet. The deeper your pocket, the crazier we make you think we have fallen for you. That is not the ‘our person’ I am referring to. This is just by the way Dave, if you must crack your medulla oblongata trying to figure out if a fine girl is into you or not, then the chances are she’s probably not. This is just a free advice to all the men who can’t seem to get the hint to move on in their search.

There are two amongst my top three guys that every chance that I get to be in their presence, I find myself glancing at. They are so appealing they force smiles out of me. I am happy to see them because one lightens me up while the other cheers me up. I am curious about their lives and why they are attracted to me. Dave, I can confidently tell you that if any of these two are the last voices I would ever hear before sleeping at night, I would be fine. I flow with their energy and vibe. They are fun to be around because I sense a strong emotional connection that precedes the obvious physical attraction.

If I go down on a friend of the guy I am seeing, will he tell his friend about us and our unusual connection?

Image Credit: Chad Populis

Let’s Talk To Kerry

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 157: Kerry

DBM: Hello Kerry. How would you describe yourself?

Kerry: A fun puzzle

DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

Kerry: Six

DBM: What do you want to talk about?

Kerry: I have a complex job that advocates and engages in the practice of going nude with my clients.

DBM: Prostitution, you mean?

Kerry: No! Sex is not part of the services I provide. I have an office that books my clients. They enter my chambers for a session, and we sit and talk, while naked.

DBM: What do you talk about?

Kerry: It depends on what the client wants to talk about

DBM: Your clientele attracts which gender?

Kerry: Men only

DBM: I see

Kerry: Time inside and outside of each session with a client is prearranged and well spent. We end up always achieving a fruitful outcome within specific time constraints.

DBM: Are you married?

Kerry: Yes. My husband and I have kids together

DBM: He knows about the kind of job you do?

Kerry: He doesn’t. He only knows about my other profession

DBM: Which is?

Kerry: I prefer not sharing that information

DBM: So, you’re a counselor of a sort – with this particular gig?

Kerry: I am a channel most men choose to reason with.

DBM: What is so special about this other job you do?

Kerry: It gives my clients the opportunity to get to understand women, and also, talk about the issues that brought them to me.

DBM: What is the demographic analysis of your clients?

Kerry: 60 to 65 percent of the men are married, 30% just dating and the 5% single. They’re between the ages of 34 to 55 years. I am not sure how to categorize their income criteria. They work in different sectors across board.

DBM: All the men come to you to discuss the women in their lives?

Kerry: Most do; others just come to stare at me and talk about whatever is on their minds at the time.

DBM: You work with a staff?

Kerry: I have a receptionist and two security or body guards at post

DBM: They know what you do in your chambers?

Kerry: Not sure

DBM: Why do you have to be naked with your clients?

Kerry: Every man loves to admire a naked woman to the fullest

DBM: Every straight man, you mean?

Kerry: Lol! Yeah, I guess. Lol! I have a great body, though I am not so proud of everything about me. But it seems like most of these guys don’t even mind what I see to be flaws on my body. They see me, and the first things they all say is, ‘you’re a very beautiful lady’.

DBM: I see. Remind me again, the men ought to be naked too, no?

Kerry: When you enter my offices, your booking and time is confirmed by the receptionist, and then my attention is drawn to your presence. One of the security men then leads you to the first chamber, and closes the door behind you. Every chamber has a scent. The men smell it the minute they walk in the door. It’s an intentional process in forming the first impression they may or not have of me. There is a video of me on a 65-inch TV screen, welcoming the client and giving a few instructions before walking to the main chamber to meet with me. One of the instructions is to get undressed.

DBM: Why is that important?

Kerry: I feed my eyes too, though the main objective is to help the men based on their exact challenges. Every client I have come in contact with desires to touch me, or cuddle with my soft body. We all go naked because I want them to feel good at the sight of something so soft without the fear of feeling judged or ruining their experiences with me. We basically turn ourselves on by staring at each other, before the mutual conversations start.

DBM: Is it a safe environment to find yourself in, with a naked man?

Kerry: There are cameras in the chambers and my security is a button push away from me. It’s been a safe practice so far.

DBM: You mind me asking how much you charge?

Kerry: 45 minutes with me is Ghs 1,200

DBM: Is business good?

Kerry: Business is really good.

DBM: Clients every day?

Kerry: Every day. Most return because I am good at tailoring our conversations to each client’s needs, preferences and expectations

DBM: You work on weekends?

Kerry: No. And I don’t work when I’m on my period

DBM: What is the one theme running through the conversations your clients have with you?

Kerry: They want to satisfy their desire, and simply move on with their lives

DBM: I see

Kerry: I reached out to you because I don’t know how my husband will perceive me if he’s to find out about this service I provide.

DBM: How would you feel if he were to be providing similar services to women?

Kerry: I don’t know how I would feel

DBM: Would you be able to trust him?

Kerry: I don’t know

DBM: Would you believe him if he told you he wasn’t sleeping with any of his clients?

Kerry: No!

DBM: Why not?

Kerry: A lot of things goes through a man’s mind when he sees the nakedness of a beautiful woman.

DBM: Even in a professional setting?

Kerry: Yeah!

DBM: Participant 156, Price, left a question for you: ‘Do you have the courage to be lonely?’

Kerry: Being lonely sometimes becomes a quiet time to enjoy my own company. I get to know and understand myself better. I don’t have to be seeing myself through the eyes of people. Yeah, I have the courage to be lonely.

DBM: It’s your turn to leave a question behind for the next participant

Kerry: If you had Ghs 155,000 in your account, and your husband or wife stole Ghs 15,000 from you, would you be upset and throw all the remaining Ghs 140,000 away in hopes of getting back at your husband or wife? Or move on and live?

DBM: Thank you!

Image Credit: Anna Nekrashevich

Let’s Talk To Amakai

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog. 3 Comments

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 63: I’m Amakai

DBM: Hello Amakai. How would you describe yourself?

Amakai: A mother, wife, hard worker, kind, and very easygoing

DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

Amakai: I’ll say 5

DBM: What do you want to talk about?

Amakai: My husband cums about four times inside me before pulling out during sex. He thinks I don’t know when he ejaculates, because he tries so hard not to make any noise to give up his emotions. He continues after a few seconds of rest, whiles in me till he’s cum the second, third or forth time, before pulling out. I read a message he sent to one of his secret side chicks that he can last over 15 minutes in bed. 15 minutes of precums isn’t a lasting to boast about.

DBM: Well, pulling out around such pleasurable, intense feelings isn’t feasible.

Amakai: It’s not fun either for me

DBM: What has your husband’s confidence, self-worth, connection and validation got to do with your assessment of him?

Amakai: He’s not good in bed

DBM: Have you told him that?

Amakai: No, because it’s not worth it. He’s always thinking with his dick.

DBM: Most guys do

Amakai: Can’t a man cum just once, take in the moment, rest for a while, before thinking of the next round?

DBM: Would you willingly give in to a second round after he’s taken that long break – you’re proposing?

Amakai: I might. But even if I don’t, I’m still his wife and he can always get another intimate moment with me the next day.

DBM: How many times do you two have sex in a week?

Amakai: At most, twice or thrice. It depends on our schedule for the week. We have children and our respective professional careers to attend to.

DBM: Most guys want sex all the time. Do you know that?

Amakai: Most women do not want sex all the time. Do you know that? Because I am in this category

DBM: Does your husband know you do not like too much of sex?

Amakai: Yes. It was one of the first conversations we had while dating.

DBM: And he said he was okay with that?

Amakai: He didn’t have a problem with it

DBM: Did you understand his need for sex when you guys were dating?

Amakai: Yes, and he wasn’t this aggressive to take it all at a go. Now, it’s like he has to have all the sex with me when the opportunity presents itself, because he feels he doesn’t know when I would give in to his demands. That’s the unspoken signal sent me

DBM: If you’re having sex twice in a week, and your husband is the type that loves to have a lot of sex, what do you think is going on in his mind?

Amakai: How would I know? Should everything in marriage be about sex? How about his wife who isn’t so rooted when it comes to sex? How about the wife who is the mother of our children, and is present to them 90% of the time while he is out? How about the wife who also works the 9 to 5 job every week?

DBM: I can only speak from my point of view as a guy. I know a lot of guys connect to their spouses emotionally through sex. Them not having enough sex could force such guys, consciously or unconsciously to have little or no real emotional connection towards you.

Amakai: Dave, I do my best for him in that department.

DBM: How often does he communicate with you on issues?

Amakai: We talk when we have to talk

DBM: When last did he ask about your day?

Amakai: Dave

DBM: Yes?

Amakai: Why all these questions?

DBM: I am trying to have a conversation with you about your husband. Tell me about his mood swings

Amakai: He is simply not a happy guy. There is nothing I can do to change that

DBM: How much time does he spend at home with you and the children?

Amakai: Not much

DBM: What is his typical weekend like?

Amakai: Gym, friends, work, work… work

DBM: Do you get the feeling that your husband desires to be with you?

Amakai: He tries to be there for us

DBM: Whereby ‘us’ means?

Amakai: Home, the children, me, etc.

DBM: I am talking about you; him wanting to be there, specifically for you

Amakai: No

DBM: Then he is not feeling as connected with you

Amakai: That’s not my doing, Dave. He is choosing not to be with his wife who loves him

DBM: A man can love and be in love with you and not be connected to you.

Amakai: Because of sex?

DBM: Just as you would want him to be emotionally supportive and forthcoming, so does he want you to be emotionally connected with/to him, through sex.

Amakai: So, for you guys, everything is about the physical?

DBM: It’s not entirely about physicality; a lot of things are tired to sex for men.

Amakai: Women get tired

DBM: I know

Amakai: Are you sure you guys know that? Because if it were left to my husband alone, he’d prefer I stop all that I would be doing just to attend to his sexual needs

DBM: How about choosing to also interpret such calls to mean, your husband’s desperation to want to be close to his beloved wife?

Amakai: So, because I am his wife, I am obligated to have sex with him in order to keep him around?

DBM: That’s not what I am saying. There are men out there who can have zero sex with their women, and still choose to be excited about, be faithful to, and be emotionally attracted to them.

Amakai: That is not the man I am married to

DBM: You know him best. But please do not pull away your trust for his masculine energy and direction. Wake up your feminine energy

Image Credit: Jeferson Gomes

Let’s Talk To Titanium

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog. 1 Comment

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 60: Titanium is my nickname

DBM: Hi Titanium. How would you describe yourself?

Titanium: I am the captain of my ship, cruising all around with a few guests on board. Some of the guests are making crazy demands, and I am giving in to a few of their requests. This is causing my ship to drift from right to left on the sea.

DBM: Is that not scary?

Titanium: It is, but I am loving it at the same time.

DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

Titanium: 6

DBM: What do you want to talk about?

Titanium: I fall in love faster than I cum. Dave, I am so visual and it’s scaring the shid outta me. I am married but I fall in love with any nice girl that makes me feel special. A fine gal tells me ‘I love you’, and my natural response to her is, ‘I love you too’.

DBM: Lol!

Titanium: I’m serious bro

DBM: Why did you marry your wife?

Titanium: She fell in the same category: easy to talk to, trustworthy and attractive. She asked me to marry her

DBM: I see. Were you in love with her?

Titanium: I was. I was in love with the others before and after her too

DBM: How do you know you’re in love with a woman?

Titanium: When she tells me she loves me, and I give my automatic response.

DBM: What type of woman are you attracted to?

Titanium: The types I am not able to stop thinking about. They come in all shapes and sizes

DBM: Most of the times, the key to getting what you want is knowing exactly what you want

Titanium: I know what I want. I love women.

DBM: Do these women you end up with, make you happy?

Titanium: They do

DBM: Do they know you’re not exclusive with them?

Titanium: Yes. I tell them I am married and cannot be in another relationship with them. Some choose to move on while others hang around till they meet someone else. But anytime I am on a date, I prepare myself for what might or not happen at the end of the date.

DBM: What usually happens after the first date?

Titanium: We have sex, and then end up becoming emotionally attached to each other – even though we may not be ready for that

DBM: And, are these women you go on dates and sleep with, right for you?

Titanium: We usually have great chemistry, and I am drawn to them

DBM: Drawn to them in which sense?

Titanium: They make me a part of their plans

DBM: Does chemistry become love for you?

Titanium: Sometimes, yes!

DBM: Is your marriage balanced?

Titanium: My wife is perfect; nothing wrong with her. Nothing wrong with our marriage. I don’t know if it’s because she’s given me too much space and freedom?

DBM: But you mentioned earlier you were like this, prior to meeting your wife, no?

Titanium: Yes

DBM: Okay!

Titanium: I am the problem

DBM: How do you feel after coming to the realization that – your wife married a whole project and that, she should be hitting her head to a brick wall because you will never change?

Titanium: I sometimes feel horrible

DBM: You know that, in-as-much-as you cannot control your thoughts and feelings, you have every control over your actions?

Titanium: I know, but the girls of today are very attractive. It’s difficult not to lose focus

DBM: There is always someone attractive everywhere we go. However, genuine intimacy with the right person isn’t found everywhere

Titanium: True

DBM: What are your priorities in life right now?

Titanium: I want to make a shitload of money from my business, so I can take care of my children, wife and women. It will make me very happy, and also, calm me down.

DBM: If I am getting the order right, money is your first priority?

Titanium: I need to earn to take care of myself and family

DBM: Your children come second?

Titanium: Yeah!

DBM: How many kids do you have?

Titanium: My wife may chance upon this conversation if you publish it. I don’t want to reveal so much about my personal life.

DBM: Alright!

Titanium: Dave, I make time for my wife. I give her my full presence whenever we are together. I am a good husband and father.

DBM: Okay!

Titanium: I care about her

DBM: Imagine your wife being the exact carbon-copy of your character; would you have allowed yourself to be caught up in the web of believing that you could fix her to be committed solely to you – forgoing all others?

Titanium: She doesn’t know about this side of me. She’s not affected in any way

DBM: But she’s going to figure you out someday soon

Titanium: Till then…

DBM: Is your wife the most compatible for you?

Titanium: No, but I am willing to wipe the puke off her face, sit by her bedside at the hospital for as long as possible, support her in the good and bad times. I’ve got her back

DBM: Good for you.

Image Credit: Cottonbro Studio

SEXUAL HEALING

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

David, experience can be a good teacher. I am going to tell you my short story: If I had been sexually experienced before marrying my husband, I would have known he wasn’t the right man for me to marry. I am very religious; he is not, though he sometimes goes to church. He calls himself a Christian. I don’t have any problem with that. Before meeting him, I was dating casually, nothing serious. Not so much sex. I knew I wasn’t a virgin but I wasn’t ready to be jumping into sex. We became friends and I liked our friendship. I didn’t want to have sex with somebody simply because I wanted to have sex. When I met my husband, I thought he was the one. Everything checked in my list. Sex was the only thing I couldn’t mark. He wanted to test drive my engine but I made him wait forever. I got a hint that he was sleeping with some ladies, and I thought maybe it was my fault because I wasn’t giving him sex. Instead of breaking things off, I kept it to myself and agreed to marry him when he asked me to.

After the wedding, sex was not so great to me as he felt it was for him. He is always happy after sex and I try to make him feel like it was good. But Dave, it’s not because of his ego; I try to tell him to get things done to me to arouse my mood but he is used to a style of sleeping with women, he probably thinks it works for every woman. He started to cheat on me again. That same time, my ex boyfriend showed up. Dave, this is a guy who can take one-hour to study my naked body in bed before touching me in a special way. He can let me lie on my back, lift both of my legs, spread them, to just gaze deeply in my cookie for 30 minutes; tell me all the wonderous stories he sees down there. That alone can make me orgasm five times. This ex is someone I connect with because of the way he worships my womanhood. Whenever I am in a good mood at home, I feel like my husband thinks it’s because of something he has done. But it’s always because I had been reviewed by the other guy in a memorable way.

I am still married to my husband. He doesn’t know what I am doing behind his back. The thing is Dave, we’re the wrong team in this marriage. I don’t like the idea of divorce that’s why I am still married. A lot of us married women are willing and open to compromise, but our husbands should be too. No woman should be the only person giving things up in a relationship. Dave, sacrifices are very different than compromises. If you and your spouse are not equally satisfied, then there hasn’t been compromise. I want to tell ladies to be sure their happiness and comforts are considered in all situations.

Image Credit: Cliff Booth

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