Let’s Talk To Chris
David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)
Participant 52: Chris
DBM: Hi Chris. How would you describe yourself?
Chris: I am a father and husband
DBM: What do you want to talk about?
Chris: I was looking through one of my son’s exercise books. He was asked to write about both of his parents, and he wrote just an essay on his mother. He only introduced my name at the ending paragraph, as his father.
DBM: I see
Chris: “My father’s name is …” and that was all that was said about me.
DBM: How old is your boy?
Chris: Eight years
DBM: What did he score in that assignment?
Chris: 8/10
DBM: Okay!
Christ: I asked him why he didn’t talk about me, and he said he didn’t know what to write about me.
DBM: What were you expecting to be written about you?
Chris: His love for me too. He made it seem as if his mother is the only person taking good care of him.
DBM: When you return home from work, what’s your routine like?
Chris: I eat, bath, sit with the kids, watch TV, etc.
DBM: When you ‘sit with the kids’, what do you do with them?
Chris: They watch TV with me and bother me
DBM: Do you talk to/with them?
Chris: Of course, yes!
DBM: What do you talk about?
Chris: Lol! Anything they want to talk about
DBM: Give me an example
Chris: Of what?
DBM: Of what you talk about with the children
Chris: I don’t know. Maybe their day at school, and other complaints, etc.
DBM: Okay! Do you help with the household daily routines?
Chris: Yes!
DBM: What do you do at home?
Chris: I provide for the house.
DBM: What else?
Chris: If something is broken, I get it fixed
DBM: Get it fixed how?
Chris: I find a professional to come and work on it
DBM: What else?
Chris: Dave, I get home late most of the time due to work. And there is usually not much to do
DBM: How about weekends?
Chris: I spend time with family and friends.
DBM: How much time with family?
Chris: I know what you are trying to do
DBM: Let me go straight to the point then: do you help around the house?
Chris: I do, but you have to also understand that, there are certain jobs in marriage that are for men, and others for the woman.
DBM: Which ones are for the man?
Chris: The provider and protector part
DBM: These you like; the ones you don’t like are for your wife, no?
Chris: Lol!
DBM: You help minimally when it comes to domestic responsibilities and household chores, no?
Chris: What has this got to do with my son’s essay?
DBM: Most of the married women I am friends with spend much more of their time cleaning, cooking and taking care of their children, compared with their husbands. And these are career women too.
Chris: How do you know their husbands aren’t supporting them?
DBM: Let’s get back to your weekends; what’s your regular Saturday like?
Chris: I play football or tennis in the mornings with my friends, and then take the family/children out.
DBM: Does your wife have a personal life?
Chris: She does
DBM: When was the last time she went to hang out with friends, or went shopping or partying just to have fun?
Chris: What has this got to do with my son’s essay?
DBM: I have not seen or read your son’s essay, however, from all that you’ve said, I can assume your wife doesn’t have a life outside of her family. You, on the other hand gets to play football and tennis.
Chris: She attended a wedding two weeks ago
DBM: It’s not the same. You have the luxury to party and have fun with friends outside home. Your son is paying attention to the world around him at home, every waking moment. His classroom is not only in school; he sees all that his mother does and would write only about her because she’s present to him, which in itself, is an opportunity for learning.
Image Credit: Katerina Holmes
