Love In Both Worlds
Snow: Dave, I’m in your inbox today
David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Hello! How are you doing?
Snow: Living the dream, Bruh. Don’t wake me up. Lol
DBM: You’re funny. Lol! Smh! What’s on your mind?
Snow: So, I read one of your conversations and it brought back some funny memories.
DBM: Which of them?
Snow: The girl having a child with her father.
DBM: Oh, okay! That’s a recent chat.
Snow: Yes
DBM: What’s funny about it?
Snow: My wife is 18 years my senior. And I had dated her daughter in the past
DBM: 18 years your senior, meaning, your wife is 18 years older than you?
Snow: Yes, but she doesn’t look her age. In fact, I look older than her if we don’t disclose our ages
DBM: How long have you been married?
Snow: 11 years
DBM: How old are you now?
Snow: 39
DBM: You dated her daughter you said?
Snow: Yeah, a long time ago. I didn’t know about her mother, though she had told me she was her mother’s only child. Her father died when she was 7years old. She was my girlfriend when she was in first year at UG Legon.
DBM: And you dated for how long?
Snow: 7 months before my graduation
DBM: And, you never met her mother during that phase of your relationship?
Snow: I didn’t.
DBM: How did you meet her mother?
Snow: 2 years after breaking up with her daughter. I applied for a job, got shortlisted and she was part of the interviewing panel.
DBM: I see
Snow: I couldn’t stop making eye contact with her when she asked me to walk her through my resume. I realized she wasn’t married because I checked that finger and we caught each other’s eyes and smiled at each other. The weirdest shit I’ve ever done in an interview.
DBM: You’re that confident, huh?
Snow: Calm and confident
DBM: Interesting
Snow: She asked only two questions. Her last question was what I could bring to the company as a demonstration of my skills in leadership. Funnily enough, I didn’t realize the others on the panel had realized I couldn’t take my eyes off my wife. Instead of answering the question, I rather was telling her how great I was at making tough decision while also listening to my woman and being willing to admit to her when I am wrong. I told her I would include my woman in imagining the future. I also said we would discuss household responsibilities together and make sure they are fairly dispersed. I made her understand that I was going to always consult with her on all major financing decisions. I made her know I was going to follow through with any commitment I would make to her, etc. Dave, it was crazy
DBM: Wait, what was her question again?
Snow: Lol. I didn’t get hired.
DBM: I figured. Lol!
Snow: But they had a good laugh. They told me point blank that I wasn’t going to get the job but asked if I had any questions for the panel. I turned to my wife and asked if she was single
DBM: For real?
Snow: True story Dave. I asked for her number when she confirmed being single. A member of the panel asked if I knew her age. She told me her age and I was in shock. I held on to her number for couple of weeks to think through my feelings before finally giving her a call to ask her out on a date. We realized how deep our connection was. It was beyond sexual attraction.
DBM: Wow! What happened next?
Snow: I fell in love with her eventually and we’ve remained best friends and lovers ever since.
DBM: Has it been an easy relationship and marriage?
Snow: It’s been one struggle after the other but we’re still managing through it. I fell in love with my wife that fast and I love her even harder today.
DBM: The age gap, I mean, is a bit yawning. Were you not concerned about what the outside world would perceive of you?
Snow: My wife actually wanted me to marry someone my age bracket and have children but I was in love and didn’t see why I couldn’t be with her.
DBM: The conversation about her daughter, how did it begin?
Snow: Dave, that is a long story to be told for another day. Lol
DBM: Not even a bit of tea? Lol!
Snow: She showed me a picture of her daughter on our first date and she noticed my discomfort. I told her the truth and it was an awkward night afterwards. She didn’t speak to me for weeks. I called her daughter and explained the coincidence to her and she burst into laughter. I later came to find out she had reached out to her mother to tell her what a good guy I was.
DBM: Are you a good guy?
Snow: I am a wonderful husband to my wife and friend to my step daughter.
DBM: Whom you used to fuck
Snow: I’ve had a taste of both worlds but life goes on.
DBM: How did your relationship with her daughter end on campus?
Snow: She was messing around with another guy. I ended it between us.
DBM: I see. Some of your age mates are campaigning rigorously for men to only go for girls under the age of 30. What’s your take on that?
Snow: The fact is that, women over 30 know quite a lot about men because of their experiences with men in their pasts. They know we cheat and mostly are all for the hook up; we lie, we ghost and would assault if given the chance. They know when not to trust a man at the tipping point of their patience. An under 30 girl tolerates almost anything mediocre so far as there is something monetary to gain.
DBM: Have you cheated on your wife with another woman?
Snow: No
DBM; Do you think younger men ought to consider pursuing older women?
Snow: Dave, love can be found in unexpected places and more often than not. It’s all about respect and honor. A man will not disappoint or betray his love for you if he respects and honors you. This is my best relationship so far, though it looks nothing like what I used to imagine for myself when I was young. My love feels right though unconventional. We understand each other and we compromise for each other.
DBM: Well said!
Image Credit: Polina Tankilevitch
