Tag: Broken home

Obed: One of my greatest nightmares just happened to me. My 10yr old son walked in on his mother and I having sex.

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): The bedroom door wasn’t locked?

Obed: I thought I locked it.

DBM: Was the bedroom door locked?

Obed: No. I was slightly tipsy but I swear I closed it.

DBM: How much of everything did he see?

Obed: That’s the problem, we do not know how long he had been standing there.

DBM: How is your relationship like with him?

Obed: We’re close but he’s very close to his mother.

DBM: What was his reaction?

Obed: He looked confused and in shock. His mouth was wide open. And I think he had a hard-on

DBM: He was turned on? I don’t believe you. How is a kid turned on by his mother’s nakedness?

Obed: Believe me David. His junk was upstanding and hard.

DBM: Oh la-la!

Obed: I know, it’s bad

DBM: What was your reaction?

Obed: I yelled at him of course, and I was a bit furious.

DBM: But why? Yelling at him only makes the situation weirder for him. When was this?

Obed: Saturday

DBM: And at what time did this happen?

Obed: I’d say, around 12:30 am

DBM: So, he should have been asleep by then?

Obed: Yes and no.

DBM: Meaning?

Obed: The weekends are usually left for them play and sleep at any time.

DBM: So, at what time do they go to bed on Saturdays?

Obed: 12ish

DBM: They stay up late doing what?

Obed: Watching TV, cartoons, movies or playing video games

DBM: How many kids do you have?

Obed: 3

DBM: Was he the only one in sight watching the freak show?

Obed: Yes

DBM: Were the other kids asleep by then?

Obed: We didn’t check but he was the only one standing in the doorway. These questions feel like I’m in kindergarten.

DBM: So, there is a probability they might have also witnessed it but chose not to stay, no?

Obed: I don’t think they were awake.

DBM: Have you spoken to your son about Saturday’s incident?

Obed: Not yet. I don’t think I would.

DBM: Why not?

Obed: I don’t know where to start. Lol. Also, he’s a boy. He will grow up to understand what’s up for men.

DBM: Does your household have any sort of established boundaries that allow for say, privacy?

Obed: Yes. They know they’re supposed to knock on our bedroom door before entering.

DBM: You can start a conversation with him from there. You need to know why he overstepped that boundary.

Obed: My wife thinks we shouldn’t talk to him about it because he’s going to forget about it

DBM: Forget about what? Have you two not been 10-year-olds before? Do you honestly think he’s going to forget about what he knows he saw?

Obed: What should be the best approach?

DBM: Has he said anything about it since?

Obed: No

DBM: He’s not asked what you two were doing?

Obed: No. Lol

DBM: He’s not acting weird, withdrawn, quiet, etc.?

Obed: Something felt off yesterday when we were driving to church. They’re usually active and talking or disturbing us but all three were very well mannered and quiet in the car.

DBM: Those kids, saw every nasty thing you did to their mother.

Obed: You are not making this any easier on me, Dave

DBM: You need to sit all three down.

Obed: Lol

DBM: You keep laughing, what’s funny? They understand what sex is, no?

Obed: I think so

DBM: Have you broached that topic to them?

Obed: Not yet

DBM: Do you think they know what sex is?

Obed: Yes.

DBM: You need to explain to them your need for privacy. In fact, let’s role-play: Daddy, what were you doing to mummy?

Obed: Lol. That’s ridiculous

DBM: Were you having sex with mummy?

Obed: Lol. Dave, drop it. Let’s get serious

DBM: Daddy, what were you doing to mummy?

Obed: Lol. Let it go. Lol

DBM: Daddy

Obed: Yes

DBM: What were you doing to mummy?

Obed: Your mother and I were having sex

DBM: Eeeew!

Obed: Roland, why didn’t you knock on the door before opening it?

DBM: But daddy, your door wasn’t locked.

Obed: Dave, what am I supposed to say if indeed the bedroom door wasn’t locked?

DBM: You need to take responsibility if you forgot to locked the door.

Obed: Wow. This parenting thing is no joke.

DBM: You need to also apologize for yelling at him.

Obed: I will not do that. He should have known better

DBM: No, you should have known better.

Obed: Please don’t act shocked at what I am about to say next

DBM: Oo-oh! What did you do?

Obed: It wasn’t their mother I was having sex with

DBM: Huh?

Obed: We’re separated and in the process of filing for divorce

DBM: I don’t care about that. Who were you having sex with?

Obed: My girlfriend

DBM: And, he had to witness that?

Obed: Hmm

DBM: Do they know this lady?

Obed: No

DBM: Where are the kids now?

Obed: With their mother. They came to spend the weekend with me

DBM: And you couldn’t suspend a meet-up with your girlfriend to spend time with your children?

Obed: It wasn’t a planned thing

DBM: Your son is not psychologically prepared for such a responsibility to be carrying the weight of what you have subjected him to. Have you informed his mother about what happened?

Obed: No

DBM: When do you intend telling her?

Obed: Do I have to?

DBM: What is the one experience you wish you could give to your son?

Obed: I don’t understand your question.

DBM: How old are you?

Obed: 38

Image Credit: REAFON GATES