Let’s Talk To Israel
David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)
Participant 83: Israel is fine by me
DBM: Hi Israel. How would you describe yourself?
Israel: My friends say they can count on me at every turn. They also say I am good looking, funny and have a knack for making others feel good. I am a dreamer, goofy and a goal-chaser.
DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?
Israel: 8
DBM: What do you want to talk about?
Israel: I share a beautiful escapade with a friend that is arousing so many funny feelings in me. We weren’t supposed to fall in love but I find myself sharing even the slightest moments of my day-to-day with her. I am interested in her interests. It’s crazy to admit but I feel like a teenager again.
DBM: I am happy for you
Israel: Thanks, but not everyone in my camp is digging the idea. She is a single mother of two. I don’t have a child.
DBM: How old are you?
Israel: 35
DBM: How old is she?
Israel: 33
DBM: How long have you two been together?
Israel: Two years
DBM: How do you define the nature of your relationship?
Israel: Our agreement was to have really good sex. I care about her but we were not reliant on our affection. I did not feel answerable to her beyond friendship. It wasn’t frequent sex but it happened when it happened.
DBM: You get laid how many times in a week?
Israel: With her or in general?
DBM: With her
Israel: At least, twice a week
DBM: And in general?
Israel: Four or five times.
DBM: And, it was strictly sex?
Israel: That was the arrangement, and we made sure it wasn’t confused for something deeper. But it’s difficult now for me to get my head around it. I am literally fighting with my feelings and it’s stressing me out.
DBM: Warmth is a huge part of how men sometimes express love
Israel: She’s always on my mind
DBM: Because you want to keep the love alive
Israel: Do you think it’s love?
DBM: If I am consciously or unconsciously, staying in touch with an important part of me that craves physical contact, and I am that much into giving and receiving affection from this person who excites my point of view, then it’s definitely something worth looking into.
Israel: She’s introduced me to her children.
DBM: As her what?
Israel: Friend. Her children are very stubborn, but I like them
DBM: How old are they?
Israel: 11 and 9
DBM: Do you think her children are ready to see their mother with another man who isn’t their father?
Israel: They hug me when they see me. They talk to me on phone when I call their mother. I get along very well with them.
DBM: That’s good then
Israel: I have introduced her to my friends. They like her, as long as she doesn’t become my wife. But their opinions doesn’t count on this subject.
DBM: Smh!
Israel: I don’t know what she’s thinking. She has a busy life. Her job is demanding; mine too but she seems to believe the strictly sex hook-up and our friendship is what works best for her.
DBM: Meaning, you cannot tell whether or not she feels the same way towards you?
Israel: Yeah! She’s afraid of hurting the feelings of her children, so she stays single. They want their mother and father to be together.
DBM: Is she still interested in the guy?
Israel: No, but he wants to come back to her.
DBM: Have you dropped the L-bomb on her?
Israel: Not yet. I don’t know how to drop hints without being too forward.
DBM: What I know is, if I am developing genuine feelings for someone that I believe I care about, I would put it out there – for them to know exactly what is going on with me. Afterall, I have nothing to lose.
Israel: I care about this woman. I care about her children too.
DBM: Send her an admiration text.
Israel: Saying what precisely?
DBM: What’s her name?
Israel: Hannah
DBM: ‘Hannah, I think you are doing an incredible job with your kids. You just came to mind.’
Israel: I like it. Can I send it now?
DBM: If you want to. You stated earlier that your camp isn’t in agreement of her?
Israel: My friends think single-mothers come with a lot baggage. My mother will not be welcoming to the idea of a woman with two children. In fact, she’s been trying to convince me to date her friend’s daughter.
DBM: You may love Hannah to want to commit to her, but are you ready for a relationship like that?
Israel: Is anyone ever ready to jump into a serious relationship?
DBM: Well, one can always challenge themselves to become a man or woman worth loving, no?
Israel: I am worth loving
DBM: Question is, why Hannah?
Israel: Hannah, because I honestly cannot see myself finding anyone like her. I’ve lived a pretty adventurous life and I don’t want to lose the greatest thing that has ever happened to me by far.
DBM: Most of these single-mothers have a sense of fear when it comes to putting themselves out there, and basically, exposing their feelings with the hope of something positive in return.
Israel: I realized that about Hannah
DBM: I have a few friends like your woman, who open up to me about their lives, and so, I have a fair idea as to how they think and feel. These ladies often have been hurt or disappointed by their past relationships, thus, making them have a hard time trusting another man. Nonetheless, they say what’s on their minds as blunt as possible. They hardly would have the time to play any games with your mind. And I know they expect same from you.
Israel: It’s been good talking with you, Dave.
DBM: You’re welcome!
Image Credit: Rhema
