Let’s Talk To Afua

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 17: Afua

DBM: Hello, Afua. Please tell me a little about yourself

Afua: I live in Accra, and I am married with kids.

DBM: What do you want to talk about today?

Afua: Prior to meeting my husband, I was providing emotional attachments to a certain kind of men. It was a non-physical something to arouse strong feelings in them.

DBM: When you say, “men”, like how many?

Afua: There were a number of them, and it was a paid service.

DBM: What type of strong feelings were you arousing?

Afua: Love

DBM: You weren’t having sex with any of them, you say?

Afua: It was strictly an emotional engagement.

DBM: After arousing the feeling of love, what follows next?

Afua: They go back home to their wives to offload their feelings.

DBM: How were you attending to these clients?

Afua: Some on phone; others in person.

DBM: How is it done on phone?

Afua: The normal way; we talk, text, video call, leave audio notes, WhatsApp messages, etc. I become their ‘girlfriend’ on phone, and lead them on to know and like me. My clients usually call me when they’re no longer in love with their spouses, or are angry at them. Some also call me when they’re very sad about something, and need an outlet to open up.

DBM: And the in-person meet?

Afua: We go on dates to talk. When the bond is built, I am sometimes invited to their offices to chitchat. Some go the extra mile to invite me to their homes.

DBM: In what capacity?

Afua: They introduce me to their wives as a friend or colleague or business partner. But the home invitation only happens after they’ve found their ways back to loving their wives again, and are bold to show it to me.

DBM: And these men don’t fall in love with you in the process to want to exploit further?

Afua: They fall in love with me, and their wives too. Because Dave, I take on their wives’ names. Before taking on a client, they need to tell me all about their wives. Actually, the first thing for me is their names, because the men address me by how they call their wives. I need to know how they met, the personality of their spouses; the wife’s favorite colours, food, drink, fashion sense etc. If they’re on social media, I follow them or request to be their friend. I take on the full character of the woman they aren’t feeling at home, and give them a reason to feel me, indirectly, them (wives).

DBM: Have you ever fallen in love with any of your clients?

Afua: Almost all of them.

DBM: Let’s go back to the phone call thing: so, you do the ‘have you eaten?’, ‘I miss you’, ‘thinking of you’ stuff?

Afua: Everything.

DBM: I love you’ too?

Afua: Including I LOVE YOU.

DBM: When does ‘I love you’ come in?

Afua: When they can’t keep the feeling to themselves any longer.

DBM: And, do you say ‘I love you’ back because you love them?

Afua: The men I have encountered so far are good men, and so it is always easy for me to fall for them after the first week or two.

DBM: Who says the ‘I love you’ first; you or them?

Afua: I always wait for them to say it first to me.

DBM: And then?

Afua: I say it back, and eventually, encourage them to say it to their wives and mean it.

DBM: While thinking about you, I guess?

Afua: Lol! If that helps. Lol!

DBM: The face-to-face meet, what are your boundaries?

Afua: No kissing, no sex.

DBM: Hugs?

Afua: A hug is allowed. Handshakes are also allowed.

DBM: You mentioned doing video calls and all, do you show them your naked body or pictures?

Afua: No! But those I talk to on phone get to see my picture on our first chat.

DBM: Do you get any extra benefits aside being paid for your service?

Afua: Oh yes! Those I encounter on phone, after a month or two would start to buy me phone credits. Some send me random Momo alerts, aside my fee. Those I meet in person also start giving me gifts after I have grown on them. Because I take on the personality of their wives, most provide for my wardrobe in order to dress and smell like their wives. Some pay for vacation trips with me, road trips, dinner dates etc. I have a lot of fun with them.

DBM: Does your husband know about this you?

Afua: No! I stopped after we got married.

DBM: Was he also a client?

Afua: He wasn’t. But we met because one of my clients was doing business with him. He used to talk about him a lot, and I developed interest in getting to know him. That’s when I created a scene for us to accidently, meet.

DBM: You love your husband?

Afua: With all of my heart. That’s why I want to do something else to support our family. Things aren’t going easy on us, him especially. I’m considering taking on new clients to earn extra money. Also, I miss the excitement in getting to know other men. Because my husband works too much, he hardly gives me any attention and tender loving care. I can get that from clients, get paid, and still support our home.

DBM: How do you advertise for clients?

Afua: I have 3 men in line at the moment.

DBM: Old clients?

Afua: All new.

Image Credit: Samphan Korwong