Tag: Neighbors

Selective Amnesia

Tyson: My wife and I moved into our new neighborhood barely ten months ago and we are still settling in and slowly making new friends. Dave, a month and a half ago, I returned from work to something seriously bizarre. My neighbor’s daughter was in my living room with my wife, waiting for me. The moment I entered, she stood up, mentioned my name, and then in the presence of my wife told me she was pregnant. I was very shocked because I do not know this young girl.

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Just like that?

Tyson: Just like that

DBM: I don’t believe you. You know her, one way or the other.

Tyson: This is where you sometimes get it wrong Dave. You’re quick to judge a man unfairly. What man do man? I swear on my mother’s life. I do not know this girl. I have not spoken to her before. I have not touched her before.

DBM: How old is she?

Tyson: She’s a teenager

DBM: Early or late teens?

Tyson: 16 or 17 I believe

DBM: What do you mean by you don’t know her? You’ve seen her before, no? She’s the neighbor’s daughter.

Tyson: I don’t know her. I have never spoken to her before. It’s her father and mother I usually greet on my way out.

DBM: That’s strange

Tyson: And scary

DBM: What was your initial reaction when you were greeted with this information?

Tyson: I laughed at first because she wasn’t making any sense to me. I reacted instead of responding. But when I realized she was dead serious on pinning her pregnancy on me, I was stunned, and terrified all at once. I do not know this girl from anywhere. Secondly, I play away matches only. I’m not that stupid to be playing matches from home.

DBM: How long have you been married?

Tyson: 3 years

DBM: How old are you?

Tyson: 42

DBM: What was your wife’s response?

Tyson: She was as confused as I was

DBM: When you make reference to ‘playing away matches’, does it mean you cheat on your wife?

Tyson: Sometimes

DBM: How has this changed things between you and your wife?

Tyson: My wife doesn’t know whom to believe and I am really not ready for this kind of event. At first, I thought she was lying about being pregnant but a test was done and she is pregnant. Her parents believe her story and are expecting me to take responsibility. That pregnancy isn’t mine.

DBM: What do you think she’s trying to achieve by falsely accusing you of something you claim you did not do?

Tyson: I claim I did not do? Really, Dave. Smh.

DBM: Men like you, I know how you think. You know how to conveniently forget specific events or your own hurtful actions while remembering almost everything else. You are experts in gaslighting your wives when they catch you in an act. You can manage to someway; somehow rewrite a situation you created for your wife to doubt her own reality of what she knows and believe you did.

Tyson: You’re wrong about me. I do not understand what she’s up to but she’s playing on my nerves. I’ve demanded for a DNA test.

DBM: When was the last time you had sex with anyone outside of your marriage?

Tyson: More than two months ago

DBM: With whom?

Tyson: An old flame

DBM: Prior to that, when last did you have sex with someone different?

Tyson: 3 months ago.

DBM: With whom?

Tyson: A girl I met at a party

DBM: What’s her name?

Tyson: I don’t remember

DBM: Why don’t you remember?

Tyson: Because she was a complete stranger. One thing led to another and …

DBM: And?

Tyson: We had sex

DBM: How was it?

Tyson: The sex?

DBM: Yes

Tyson: It wasn’t mind blowing. I don’t think I remember the details of it

DBM: Why not?

Tyson: Drank too much vodka soda

DBM: Was it protected sex?

Tyson: Always

DBM: What did the girl look like?

Tyson: How would I know?

DBM: Was she tall, short, slender, dark in complexion, etc.?

Tyson: Shit

DBM: What?

Image Credit: Ekam Juneja

Dinner Talks

One of the ladies is in her third marriage, which is now in its 24th year. She is 56 years of age, and her partner is 62. He is in his second marriage to/with her. (C.A) The second couple have been married for 19 years, and they’re each other’s first marriage. The lady is 48 and her partner is 53. (S.O) The third family is in their 40th year of marriage and are both in their mid-seventies. (P.U) The fourth couple have done 12 years in marriage; she is 41 and her partner is 37. It’s the 37-year-old guy’s first marriage while the 41-year-old is in her second marriage. (K.G). (D.M) are the fifth couple and youngest in marriage. They’re both 39 years of age.

WHY DID YOU CHOOSE TO SETTLE DOWN WITH YOUR SPOUSE?

C.A: We chose each other with both foots in.
S.O: We were not compatible but we were content with how we had grown and learned to fit in each other’s lives as friends.
P.U: We could handle our lives even when it got messy.
K.G: We made each other happy and wanted to take advantage of the experience. We understood tomorrow isn’t promised.
D.M: We just knew we were what we wanted for each other. It was a crazy decision but we took it regardless.

IS LOVE WORTH SACRIFICING FOR?

C.A: Of course; love is all about sacrifice
S.O: Yes
P.U: I cater for my wife’s needs at all times. I will do anything in my capacity to make her happy. She makes the same effort for me
K.G: It is. We are worth sacrificing for
D.M: Indeed! We’ve been intentional about doing the best we can to put the other at ease.

WHAT MISTAKES HAVE YOU MADE IN THIS MARRIAGE?

C.A: Cheating on C
S.O: Having an affair and almost costing my marriage to O
P.U: Not standing up for myself earlier in the relationship when P was taking me for granted
K.G: Cheating and lying to G
D.M: Taking for granted M’s need to want to be in my embrace, with our hands wrapped around each other in a cuddle. I have always wanted my space and didn’t want anyone touching or breathing around me while asleep.

ARE YOU CONTENT WITH YOUR PARTNER?

C.A: Yes
S.O: Yes
P.U: Yes
K.G: Yes
D.M: Yes

DO YOU SEE YOURSELF CHEATING ON YOUR SPOUSE?

C: No!
A: I doubt that
S: I don’t think so
O: No!
P: Not sure
U: No!
K: Not really
G: No!
D: I don’t know

M: No!

WHO GETS ON THE NERVES OF THE OTHER WITH A BAD CHARACTER?

C: A
A: I do
S: Me
O: S
P: I can be bad
U: P
K: I’m a rough diamond
G: K
D: I can be a handful
M: D

WHAT IS YOUR GOAL FOR YOUR MARRIAGE?

C: Make it a human experience with less expectations
A: To make it a success story
S: Grow together as a team
O: Build something meaningful and exceptional together
P: To experience new things together to draw us closer
U: To always have something to aim for so I don’t lose interest in my husband
K: Make good memories
G: Glorifying God in all situations
D: Finding my purpose in M’s life and fulfilling it
M: Finding a middle point where we both can be happy

IS LOVING AND/BEING WITH ONLY YOUR PARTNER ENOUGH FOR YOU?

C: Yes
A: No
S: One woman cannot satisfy a man’s needs
O: Yes
P: I believe so
U: Yes
K: It depends on how creative the other is willing to become
G: Yes
D: I can choose to be content.
M: Yes

LESSON LEARNT THUS FAR FROM YOUR EXPERIENCE

C: Make your spouse your priority, appreciate and value them.
A: It’s okay to sometimes go to bed mad. A good night’s sleep can help open up your emotions and also guide you to fight fairly.
S: It’s not always important to be right. Just be kind
O: Marriage will not be the center of my life. I have a life of my own to live
P: Have a lot of sex and be physically intimate
U: Not to allow our children to take up so much of our mental space, energy and money. My husband gets equal share of my energy and we spend on ourselves and have a lot of fun.
K: Our marriage is a partnership and has not always been 50/50
G: Communicate and try to understand the other person. This will lead to support and ultimately, love
D: Your marriage, your choice. Get your start with your partner, and GOD, and so not be distracted by the opinions of others.
M: I do not say things I do not mean to regret later. I’ve learnt when to hold my tongue

Image Credit: Gabby K

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