Relationships – Page 2

Tag: Relationships

Let’s Talk To River

Written by David B on March 26, 2023. Posted in Blog.

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 69: Hey David. I’d want to go by River

DBM: Hi River. How would you describe yourself?

River: I am confused at this moment

DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

River: 5

DBM: What do you want to talk about?

River: I fucked up big time. I am not blaming anyone else but myself; no excuses… I just made a mistake.

DBM: What did you do?

River: I mistakenly called my fiancée by the first name of another woman I am having a no-strings attached fling relationship with, while on one knee proposing to her.

DBM: Was she the only witness to this?

River: No! Two of her close friends, two of mine and her siblings were there. They were the team that helped me plan the surprise marriage proposal event.

DBM: What was going through your mind for you to mess up a ‘will you marry me’ once in a lifetime moment?

River: I was in the moment and excited as everyone else. I don’t know how the mishap happened for me to address her by the name of another woman.

DBM: What was your woman’s reaction?

River: She pulled her left hand out of my hand and asked for my phone

DBM: Your phone?

River: She made me unlock it to read my conversations on WhatsApp with the name I mentioned

DBM: What did she find?

River: A lot

DBM: Good or bad ‘lot’?

River: Everything.

DBM: What was the worst thing she found in your chats with her?

River: We had fucked that afternoon and talked about how hot it was

DBM: As in, you and the other woman?

River: Yes

DBM: The afternoon of the same day you proposed to your fiancée?

River: Yes. The proposal happened in the evening

DBM: How long have you been dating your woman?

River: Three years

DBM: How long have you been seeing the other lady?

River: About six years

DBM: I see

River: I really do no think all the sex I have should constitute an emotional attachment for it to mean something to me.

DBM: What’s your interpretation of sex?

River: Dave, I can just shake your hand right now as a friend, or colleague and it would simply be a handshake. I can choose to also touch your hand in a certain way for it to be rousing and emotionally heartwarming. Sex is just like that for me, depending on the person I am doing it with.

DBM: Why did you choose to date your fiancée, knowing very well there is an existing relationship in your life?

River: The existing relationship is purely for sexual gratification. We explore different sexual tastes the typical Ghanaian wife wouldn’t be open to. It’s safe and fun. My fiancée, on the other hand is a woman I trust absolutely and completely. I knew I wanted to marry her the first day I set my eyes on her. She’s someone I can laugh with; she has no history of cheating and wouldn’t crave the attention of other men; she’s a good Christian too.

DBM: You have a history of cheating, yet you want a woman who wouldn’t cheat on you?

River: That’s why I am saying I know I do not make the best of decisions when it comes to sex. I need a woman I can trust in her choices if I were to disappoint at any point in time in our marriage.

DBM: So, you could have told her from the onset about your escapades with this other woman, so she would be in the known to make an informed decision about you.

River: I erred; I accept my mistake.

DBM: You did not err; It was an intentional, selfish and inconsiderate act. And just like the many others, you are deceptive, manipulative and would say any and everything you feel in order to get what you want from a woman.

River: I am not sure how to respond to you. You don’t know me like that

DBM: Do you even love your fiancée?

River: I am in love with my woman. Honest truth to God.

DBM: I know many guys who genuinely think there is an emotional connection between them and the women they cheat on, based on the things they think they’re feeling when they’re around them. Are you sure you are not just curious about knowing what the experience of being with your fiancée would be or feel like?

River: I don’t understand your question

DBM: Your curiosity in being with a decent woman like her physically has been satisfied, no?

River: My fiancée and I have sex, yes. She’s physically attractive

DBM: I understand that you are attracted to her body, but do you have a genuine connection with her soul?

River: Yes, I do.

DBM: And, how does that feel like?

River: That’s why I wanted to take our relationship to the next level

DBM: Did she accept your proposal?

River: She said she needed time to process everything

DBM: When was this?

River: It happened in January, 2023

DBM: Would you marry a woman like your character?

River: I don’t know

DBM: You know, because it sounds like you have the best of both worlds

River: We all fuck up every now and then

DBM: I know, but then if you’ve cheated before, especially more than once, you know you will do it again, no? It may not be tomorrow, or in six months from now, but it’s bound to happen

River: My relationship with my woman is really great. I love our love and chemistry, but I think about being physical with other women as well. I want to have a lot of sex, just not with only my fiancée. There is a freaky part of me that is so profoundly personal, I can only reveal it to a stranger, a woman who is not my wife.

DBM: So, tell her this truth

River: I’ll lose her

DBM: Then you lose her. You owe it to her to decide what she wants for her life. It is the least you can do

Image Credit: Rodnae Productions

Let’s Talk To Diahann

Written by David B on March 13, 2023. Posted in Blog. 2 Comments

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 61: My name is Diahann

DBM: Hello Diahann. How would you describe yourself?

Diahann: I would describe myself as compassionate, and I know I will not hurt anyone intentionally. I am relatable, well-rounded, and know how to have a lot of fun – probably because I’ve been around the block quite a number of times. My boyfriend says, I bring so much fulfillment and satisfaction in our relationship.

DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

Diahann: Oh, a cool 9

DBM: What do you want to talk about?

Diahann: I am secretly dating one of my girlfriends’ ex-husband. It’s a secret relationship because I don’t know how she’s going to take the news if I am to break it to her. I am worried about her reaction if she’s to find out on her own. I am trying to prevent her getting hurt or feeling betrayed.

DBM: How long have you been dating him?

Diahann: Almost three years.

DBM: How long was he married to your friend?

Diahann: Seven years and some coins.

DBM: When was their divorce finalized?

Diahann: November of 2018

DBM: Was he your friend when he was with your friend?

Diahann: Yes, but not as close as I was with his ex-wife

DBM: Your friend, you mean?

Diahann: Yes!

DBM: What did you know about their marriage?

Diahann: I knew she wasn’t happy with him. There were times she could call me and cry and complain about his affairs with other women.

DBM: And, what were you telling her?

Diahann: First and foremost, it was difficult for me to just sit my behind somewhere, discussing her marriage in the absence of her ex. They are both my friends, and I wasn’t sure I was the best person for her to come to. The second thing is, my friend was suffering in silence in her marriage; it wasn’t working as she had hoped it would. I suggested she dealt with the situation or simply move on. Life is short, Dave. No one deserves to be frustrated by a spouse – all in the name of marriage.

DBM: Has your boyfriend told you his side of the reason for the divorce?

Diahann: All he said was, she wouldn’t stop getting on his last nerve

DBM: Did you by any chance get in the way of their marriage?

Diahann: Get in the way how?

DBM: Interfere with your opinions as her sounding-board of a sort

Diahann: No. It wasn’t my place to

DBM: Did you or your boyfriend ever seek any form of emotional connection with one another, while he was married to your friend?

Diahann: Never. In fact, I hated him for always causing my friend pain and unhappiness

DBM: If you suspect that one of your close friends is hanging around your ex-boyfriend, would you want her to let her intentions known to you?

Diahann: I don’t think so. That would be entirely her business. He is my ex for a reason

DBM: How did your relationship with him begin?

Diahann: I was supposed to be on a date with a guy who stood me up. My boyfriend just happened to be eating at the same restaurant. He saw me, and joined me at my table to build conversation since I was alone. When he realized my date wasn’t showing, he kept me company. He ordered food for me and the conversations continued. We hadn’t talked nor seen each other since their divorce

DBM: Did you tell your friend about your date, and how her ex-husband just happened to be there to keep you company?

Diahann: She knew I was stood up; we had been texting the whole of that afternoon to prepare me for my date. I didn’t mention the ex-husband part though

DBM: Why not?

Diahann: I didn’t think it was important

DBM: At what point did you realize you liked him?

Diahann: Right at the table on my date fiasco. He says, he realized how awesome I was, right at the beginning of our ‘first’ unplanned date lunch. He kissed me unexpectedly after eating, and I kissed back. He fell in love with me, and I would add, has been loyal to me. He respects me and our relationship, and understands my worth

DBM: I see. He fell in love with you, right there and then?

Diahann: Yes, that’s what he told me.

DBM: It does happen, I don’t doubt you.

Diahann: He did not contact me for about a week after the ‘date’. I didn’t sulk or feel hurt. He called on the eighth day to ask for a proper date night. That evening, I knew I was falling madly in love with him because the kiss had been on my mind for days.

DBM: We’re talking about the same guy you hated because he was making the life of your friend, a living hell?

Diahann: Same one. I’ve come to understand that, he’s not the type of man to hurt a woman for the fun of it. I had been pretending with my feelings for months till he told me how much he loves me

DBM: How much is his love for you?

Diahann: Worth more than 100 Cedis

DBM: Are you in love with him?

Diahann: I am all over him in love. I had to change my perceptions about him to accommodate his love for me.

DBM: Why do you think you fell for him that quickly?

Diahann: Because I know him. Also, he has something to add to every conversation we have. To be honest, until my friend started criticizing him about their marriage, I aways assumed he was a cool catch. I haven’t been so easy to get, nor so eager to please. He’s just been the perfect gentleman with my experience with him. Also, I made it hard for him to read me like a book on our ‘first’ date. I had blocked myself emotionally to him to get through to. He’s the real deal

DBM: For how long is he going to remain your best kept secret?

Diahann: That’s what I am trying to figure out.

DBM: In your opinion, was your friend right about her ex-husband?

Diahann: Since becoming a couple, he’s accounted for all his flaws, and is working through them to become a better man for me. Right now, our relationship is our most important friendship. And so far, it’s been working out just fine.

DBM: I am happy for you.

Image Credit: Gustavo Fring

Tag: Relationships

Let’s Talk To River

Let’s Talk To Diahann

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