Let’s Talk To River
David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)
Participant 69: Hey David. I’d want to go by River
DBM: Hi River. How would you describe yourself?
River: I am confused at this moment
DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?
River: 5
DBM: What do you want to talk about?
River: I fucked up big time. I am not blaming anyone else but myself; no excuses… I just made a mistake.
DBM: What did you do?
River: I mistakenly called my fiancée by the first name of another woman I am having a no-strings attached fling relationship with, while on one knee proposing to her.
DBM: Was she the only witness to this?
River: No! Two of her close friends, two of mine and her siblings were there. They were the team that helped me plan the surprise marriage proposal event.
DBM: What was going through your mind for you to mess up a ‘will you marry me’ once in a lifetime moment?
River: I was in the moment and excited as everyone else. I don’t know how the mishap happened for me to address her by the name of another woman.
DBM: What was your woman’s reaction?
River: She pulled her left hand out of my hand and asked for my phone
DBM: Your phone?
River: She made me unlock it to read my conversations on WhatsApp with the name I mentioned
DBM: What did she find?
River: A lot
DBM: Good or bad ‘lot’?
River: Everything.
DBM: What was the worst thing she found in your chats with her?
River: We had fucked that afternoon and talked about how hot it was
DBM: As in, you and the other woman?
River: Yes
DBM: The afternoon of the same day you proposed to your fiancée?
River: Yes. The proposal happened in the evening
DBM: How long have you been dating your woman?
River: Three years
DBM: How long have you been seeing the other lady?
River: About six years
DBM: I see
River: I really do no think all the sex I have should constitute an emotional attachment for it to mean something to me.
DBM: What’s your interpretation of sex?
River: Dave, I can just shake your hand right now as a friend, or colleague and it would simply be a handshake. I can choose to also touch your hand in a certain way for it to be rousing and emotionally heartwarming. Sex is just like that for me, depending on the person I am doing it with.
DBM: Why did you choose to date your fiancée, knowing very well there is an existing relationship in your life?
River: The existing relationship is purely for sexual gratification. We explore different sexual tastes the typical Ghanaian wife wouldn’t be open to. It’s safe and fun. My fiancée, on the other hand is a woman I trust absolutely and completely. I knew I wanted to marry her the first day I set my eyes on her. She’s someone I can laugh with; she has no history of cheating and wouldn’t crave the attention of other men; she’s a good Christian too.
DBM: You have a history of cheating, yet you want a woman who wouldn’t cheat on you?
River: That’s why I am saying I know I do not make the best of decisions when it comes to sex. I need a woman I can trust in her choices if I were to disappoint at any point in time in our marriage.
DBM: So, you could have told her from the onset about your escapades with this other woman, so she would be in the known to make an informed decision about you.
River: I erred; I accept my mistake.
DBM: You did not err; It was an intentional, selfish and inconsiderate act. And just like the many others, you are deceptive, manipulative and would say any and everything you feel in order to get what you want from a woman.
River: I am not sure how to respond to you. You don’t know me like that
DBM: Do you even love your fiancée?
River: I am in love with my woman. Honest truth to God.
DBM: I know many guys who genuinely think there is an emotional connection between them and the women they cheat on, based on the things they think they’re feeling when they’re around them. Are you sure you are not just curious about knowing what the experience of being with your fiancée would be or feel like?
River: I don’t understand your question
DBM: Your curiosity in being with a decent woman like her physically has been satisfied, no?
River: My fiancée and I have sex, yes. She’s physically attractive
DBM: I understand that you are attracted to her body, but do you have a genuine connection with her soul?
River: Yes, I do.
DBM: And, how does that feel like?
River: That’s why I wanted to take our relationship to the next level
DBM: Did she accept your proposal?
River: She said she needed time to process everything
DBM: When was this?
River: It happened in January, 2023
DBM: Would you marry a woman like your character?
River: I don’t know
DBM: You know, because it sounds like you have the best of both worlds
River: We all fuck up every now and then
DBM: I know, but then if you’ve cheated before, especially more than once, you know you will do it again, no? It may not be tomorrow, or in six months from now, but it’s bound to happen
River: My relationship with my woman is really great. I love our love and chemistry, but I think about being physical with other women as well. I want to have a lot of sex, just not with only my fiancée. There is a freaky part of me that is so profoundly personal, I can only reveal it to a stranger, a woman who is not my wife.
DBM: So, tell her this truth
River: I’ll lose her
DBM: Then you lose her. You owe it to her to decide what she wants for her life. It is the least you can do
Image Credit: Rodnae Productions
