Let’s Talk To Dofi
David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)
Participant 130: My name is Dofi
DBM: Hi Dofi. How would you describe yourself?
Dofi: I love to learn
DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?
Dofi: 8
DBM: What do you want to talk about?
Dofi: I’m in relationship with a guy I respect so much. I really wish I could put the reasons why I love him into words but I can’t. There is a problem. He introduced me to one of his uncles and he just happened to be one of the men I used to date. His uncle was the first older man in my circle of ‘daddies’ that I dated. I fell in love with him because he used to wow me with his kindness and crazy sense of humor. He was massively more committed in the relationship than I was, because he was a married man.
DBM: Is he still married?
Dofi: Yes
DBM: Why did you break up?
Dofi: He had another girlfriend. It’s a long story. Also, I was interested in a different guy
DBM: And so, you broke things off?
Dofi: He did
DBM: What was his reason?
Dofi: He needed to focus on his family
DBM: Okay! Did he?
Dofi: No. He’s the one guy I am probably going to have sex with even if I am happily married.
DBM: Why is that?
Dofi: He makes me feel like a woman
DBM: How does it feel like to be a woman?
Dofi: Safe, secure, protected, cared for, adored, loved, respected, shielded, home, free
DBM: I see
Dofi: Any woman who has ever been handled well by a good man knows what I’m talking about. Such women find themselves in a dilemma when these stand-outs show up to us suddenly for a fling. We may love our boyfriends or husbands but nothing would compare…
DBM: To that man who made you feel like a woman?
Dofi: Yes. They are the type of guys that we are physically, emotionally, mentally and monetarily attracted to, and may act on it
DBM: You met the uncle, and then what happened?
Dofi: He looked at me with his look
DBM: What look?
Dofi: That look that flirts with me to come for an expensive quickie
DBM: You’re obviously not serious about your boyfriend, no?
Dofi: I am, Dave. My boyfriend is always there for me and I love him for that
DBM: Does he know about you and his uncle?
Dofi: The issue is, I had been with his uncle a week prior to him introducing us.
DBM: Been with him, how?
Dofi: Sex
DBM: In other words, you’re cheating on your boyfriend
Dofi: Yes and no
DBM: Please explain
Dofi: I am not in a relationship with his uncle. What we share is a soul-tie
DBM: What is a soul-tie?
Dofi: It goes deeper than love; it’s not always experienced in a relationship setting.
DBM: Have you processed exactly what you’re doing to your boyfriend?
Dofi: What am I doing?
DBM: Cheating on him with his uncle.
Dofi: Hmmm!
DBM: What unrealistic expectations do you have of your boyfriend?
Dofi: None
DBM: Are you physically attracted to him?
Dofi: Very much
DBM: Does he work?
Dofi: He has a good paying job
DBM: He treats you good?
Dofi: Very
DBM: He loves you?
Dofi: He is in love with me
DBM: You can spend the rest of your life living with his character?
Dofi: Yes
DBM: He’s mature?
Dofi: He is my dream man
DBM: So, what will make you have sex with his uncle?
Dofi: I didn’t know they were related.
DBM: Let me rephrase the statement then, what will make you cheat on him?
Dofi: I don’t know how to say no to his uncle
DBM: Does the uncle pressure you to have sex with him?
Dofi: No
DBM: Why then can’t you say no to his advances?
Dofi: It’s not that simple
DBM: Simplify it for me
Dofi: Money exchanges hands. A lot of money
DBM: How much is a lot?
Dofi: $1500
DBM: Ghana Cedis you mean?
Dofi: No, Dave, USD for every meet
DBM: So, it’s about the money?
Dofi: Partially
DBM: What do you do for work?
Dofi: I have a day job. I can survive without his money but I still need it
DBM: Are you prepared to face the consequences of your actions by addressing what you’ve been up to with your boyfriend?
Dofi: Not in this world
DBM: How would you feel if he were to be doing the exact thing to you?
Dofi: I’d be hurt
DBM: Why are you doing it then?
Dofi: His uncle makes me feel invincible when I am with him
DBM: Your boyfriend makes you feel what?
Dofi: Invincible too, but on a different level
DBM: Do you know what you want?
Dofi: I know what I want
DBM: Who do you want?
Dofi: My boyfriend’s love and his uncle’s TLC which when combined, feels like an absolutely amazing field trip with lunch in a cool weather.
DBM: I see. Kindly remind me the purpose for this chat?
Dofi: I want to know if it’s okay to render to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and give to God what belongs to God?
DBM: Loving your boyfriend should come naturally to you when you realize how much he’s that much into you. You’re setting yourself up in a trap entertaining his uncle
Dofi: Ok
DBM: Participant 129, Pablo, left a question for you: ‘I am going to assume your house, containing everything you own and value, has caught fire. After saving your loved ones, you just happen to have time to safely make a final dash in there to save any one item. What would it be, and why?’
Dofi: My dildo. An orgasm before bed does wonders to my sleep. The sleep is better and sounder
DBM: It’s your turn to leave a question behind for the next participant
Dofi: Is it ever OKAY to lie?
DBM: Thank you!
Image Credit: Cottonbro Studio
