Let’s Talk To Dofi

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 130: My name is Dofi

DBM: Hi Dofi. How would you describe yourself?

Dofi: I love to learn

DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

Dofi: 8

DBM: What do you want to talk about?

Dofi: I’m in relationship with a guy I respect so much. I really wish I could put the reasons why I love him into words but I can’t. There is a problem. He introduced me to one of his uncles and he just happened to be one of the men I used to date. His uncle was the first older man in my circle of ‘daddies’ that I dated. I fell in love with him because he used to wow me with his kindness and crazy sense of humor. He was massively more committed in the relationship than I was, because he was a married man.

DBM: Is he still married?

Dofi: Yes

DBM: Why did you break up?

Dofi: He had another girlfriend. It’s a long story. Also, I was interested in a different guy

DBM: And so, you broke things off?

Dofi: He did

DBM: What was his reason?

Dofi: He needed to focus on his family

DBM: Okay! Did he?

Dofi: No. He’s the one guy I am probably going to have sex with even if I am happily married.

DBM: Why is that?

Dofi: He makes me feel like a woman

DBM: How does it feel like to be a woman?

Dofi: Safe, secure, protected, cared for, adored, loved, respected, shielded, home, free

DBM: I see

Dofi: Any woman who has ever been handled well by a good man knows what I’m talking about. Such women find themselves in a dilemma when these stand-outs show up to us suddenly for a fling. We may love our boyfriends or husbands but nothing would compare…

DBM: To that man who made you feel like a woman?

Dofi: Yes. They are the type of guys that we are physically, emotionally, mentally and monetarily attracted to, and may act on it

DBM: You met the uncle, and then what happened?

Dofi: He looked at me with his look

DBM: What look?

Dofi: That look that flirts with me to come for an expensive quickie

DBM: You’re obviously not serious about your boyfriend, no?

Dofi: I am, Dave. My boyfriend is always there for me and I love him for that

DBM: Does he know about you and his uncle?

Dofi: The issue is, I had been with his uncle a week prior to him introducing us.

DBM: Been with him, how?

Dofi: Sex

DBM: In other words, you’re cheating on your boyfriend

Dofi: Yes and no

DBM: Please explain

Dofi: I am not in a relationship with his uncle. What we share is a soul-tie

DBM: What is a soul-tie?

Dofi: It goes deeper than love; it’s not always experienced in a relationship setting.

DBM: Have you processed exactly what you’re doing to your boyfriend?

Dofi: What am I doing?

DBM: Cheating on him with his uncle.

Dofi: Hmmm!

DBM: What unrealistic expectations do you have of your boyfriend?

Dofi: None

DBM: Are you physically attracted to him?

Dofi: Very much

DBM: Does he work?

Dofi: He has a good paying job

DBM: He treats you good?

Dofi: Very

DBM: He loves you?

Dofi: He is in love with me

DBM: You can spend the rest of your life living with his character?

Dofi: Yes

DBM: He’s mature?

Dofi: He is my dream man

DBM: So, what will make you have sex with his uncle?

Dofi: I didn’t know they were related.

DBM: Let me rephrase the statement then, what will make you cheat on him?

Dofi: I don’t know how to say no to his uncle

DBM: Does the uncle pressure you to have sex with him?

Dofi: No

DBM: Why then can’t you say no to his advances?

Dofi: It’s not that simple

DBM: Simplify it for me

Dofi: Money exchanges hands. A lot of money

DBM: How much is a lot?

Dofi: $1500

DBM: Ghana Cedis you mean?

Dofi: No, Dave, USD for every meet

DBM: So, it’s about the money?

Dofi: Partially

DBM: What do you do for work?

Dofi: I have a day job. I can survive without his money but I still need it

DBM: Are you prepared to face the consequences of your actions by addressing what you’ve been up to with your boyfriend?

Dofi: Not in this world

DBM: How would you feel if he were to be doing the exact thing to you?

Dofi: I’d be hurt

DBM: Why are you doing it then?

Dofi: His uncle makes me feel invincible when I am with him

DBM: Your boyfriend makes you feel what?

Dofi: Invincible too, but on a different level

DBM: Do you know what you want?

Dofi: I know what I want

DBM: Who do you want?

Dofi: My boyfriend’s love and his uncle’s TLC which when combined, feels like an absolutely amazing field trip with lunch in a cool weather.

DBM: I see. Kindly remind me the purpose for this chat?

Dofi: I want to know if it’s okay to render to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and give to God what belongs to God?

DBM: Loving your boyfriend should come naturally to you when you realize how much he’s that much into you. You’re setting yourself up in a trap entertaining his uncle

Dofi: Ok

DBM: Participant 129, Pablo, left a question for you: ‘I am going to assume your house, containing everything you own and value, has caught fire. After saving your loved ones, you just happen to have time to safely make a final dash in there to save any one item. What would it be, and why?’

Dofi: My dildo. An orgasm before bed does wonders to my sleep. The sleep is better and sounder

DBM: It’s your turn to leave a question behind for the next participant

Dofi: Is it ever OKAY to lie?

DBM: Thank you!

Image Credit: Cottonbro Studio