Let’s Talk To Kuturuku and Takyiwaa
David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)
Participant 113a: Kuturuku
Participant 113b: The name I want use is Takyiwaa
DBM: Hi Kuturuku and Takyiwaa. How would you describe yourselves?
Kuturuku: The type that would make a difficult decision and stand by it. Also, I don’t give up easily, even though I can be contented with the possibility of me failing at something. I love to explore interesting avenues, and I am a fun-loving guy.
Takyiwaa: I wake up and go to sleep and this man is the first and last thing on my mind
DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?
Takyiwaa: 8
Kuturuku: 7
DBM: What do you want to talk about?
Takyiwaa: My boyfriend is all of a sudden suggesting that, what we’ve built for almost a year is friends with benefits kind-of relationship.
Kuturuku: I’m going to be honest with her since she’s the one bringing our private issues here; dating one woman can get very boring for me really fast.
Takyiwaa: We were dating then?
Kuturuku: No! I was of the impression that the attraction between us was purely physical
Takyiwaa: Say it is physical for you.
Kuturuku: You don’t love me, do you?
Takyiwaa: I am catching feelings for you
DBM: What do you think you want in a woman to get you to settle down with one?
Kuturuku: I’m married boss. I have settled down
DBM: I’m confused
Takyiwaa: I am perching
DBM: You’re the other woman?
Takyiwaa: Yes
DBM: I see
Kuturuku: Dave, the nature of my job prevents me from staying in one location for a long time. I travel a lot, and have a busy work schedule. That’s why I cannot do one relationship and commit to it at a go.
DBM: It’s that difficult to stick to one woman?
Kuturuku: I wouldn’t say it’s difficult. I’m just not a firm believer of the whole monogamy thing
DBM: Why did you get married?
Kuturuku: My wife wanted marriage
DBM: Do you believe in marriage?
Kuturuku: I do
DBM: Is marriage for you?
Kuturuku: No
DBM: Is Takyiwaa your only side-chick?
Kuturuku: She knows she’s not
Takyiwaa: I didn’t know that. You’re now telling me
DBM: How many women are in your life?
Kuturuku: You mean, how many ladies I’ve had sex with?
DBM: How did he convince you to be with him? What did he tell you about his wife?
Takyiwaa: He doesn’t say much about his wife. As to how we met, he was at a filling station filling up his car. The taxi I had chartered drove to the same filling station to fuel up. He saw me in the car and hurriedly paid the driver whatever my fare was, and handed me his business card. I called to thank him for paying my fare, and one text led to the other.
Kuturuku: The opportunity was there; she looked pretty in her dress and I couldn’t resist. It just had to happen for us to be in touch somehow.
DBM: Did he tell you he was married?
Takyiwaa: I didn’t ask
DBM: And, he did not tell you either?
Takyiwaa: I figured it out
DBM: Why do you want to continue being in his life?
Takyiwaa: I don’t know how to resist the emotions growing inside of me. It’s getting the best of me
DBM: Have you come to peace with the fact that, you may never be his priority?
Takyiwaa: Not yet
DBM: What does she mean to you?
Kuturuku: She’s a dear friend I share something beautiful with
Takyiwaa: He makes me feel special
DBM: But replaceable
Kuturuku: Lol!
Takyiwaa: Dave, he’s not a bad person. His intentions are good
DBM: Can you honestly trust a man who has chosen to deceive his wife – with you?
Kuturuku: My wife can distinguish some of the things that are off with me. She may not know the details, but she knows something is up
DBM: You have children?
Kuturuku: I do
DBM: Let me present a scenario; your wife or child is in a horrible crisis. Takyiwaa also finds herself in a hot mess, and all parties are in need of your support and presence. Which of them is assured of your unconditional support?
Kuturuku: Family above all else
DBM: Let’s assume you’re in love with Takyiwaa
Kuturuku: I will choose my wife and children
DBM: Are you keeping your options open, even though you are doing things with him?
Takyiwaa: I don’t understand the question
Kuturuku: I wouldn’t want her to be dating other men
DBM: Are you two dating?
Kuturuku: We have something going on between us
DBM: Sex and?
Kuturuku: Friendship
DBM: And?
Kuturuku: Everything else this can develop into
DBM: Define what you share with Takyiwaa
Kuturuku: A pleasant situation
DBM: Has it a potential of changing into something meaningful any time soon?
Kuturuku: I mean, I can’t marry her but yes. I really like her
Takyiwaa: I really like you too
Kuturuku: I know
DBM: Time sometimes gives us time to prepare ourselves for the truth existing in a pleasant situation
Takyiwaa: Being with a married man is one of the things I swore never to do. But life once again has an interesting way of proving me wrong. I know you will not believe me, but I never planned for this to happen
DBM: I believe you
Kuturuku: He doesn’t believe you
DBM: Why did you decide to chat with me?
Kuturuku: I didn’t decide anything. She got me involved
Takyiwaa: I wanted a neutral platform for us to open up about exactly what we’re doing, and where it’s going
DBM: Have you gotten the answers you needed?
Takyiwaa: 90% of it
DBM: What does the remaining 10% consist of? Because a man who is married will tell you all the right things your ears want to hear – just to have his way with you.
Kuturuku: Look, I see a potential love story with Takyiwaa. It’s not just about the physical attraction and passion. There could be love involved somewhere in the mix.
DBM: Are you both certain about your emotions?
Takyiwaa: I am; I love him
Kuturuku: What I know is, she’s not just a statistic in my equation
DBM: Please help me to understand something, are you waiting on him to choose you as his what, since he’s already married?
Takyiwaa: I want more; some level of commitment at least
DBM: So, you will put your life on hold for him to make up his mind about you?
Image Credit: Lucretius Mooka
