READY OR NOT?

Good morning, Dave,

I have been a follower of your page and I like to read people’s stories and comment, but today, it is my turn for people to advise me. I have been with my lady close to seven years now and she is very hard working and I admire her a lot for that. She will do anything within her means just to make me happy. To her, I come first before anything else, and I am so grateful for that. We have been planning to get married for some time now but things are not going the way we planned, and it’s beginning to affect me personally. I can see it worries her as well but she sometimes tries to be strong for me, and rather comforts me. She believes things are going to be okay and that, I should trust in God.

I know she wants it badly because sometimes when she goes to her friends’ weddings, the way she talks about it, you know she really wishes it would get to her turn sooner than later. Sometimes too, when her mum is talking to her about marriage stuff, she would be indirectly giving her pressure to settle down. I work in Accra and we couldn’t recover from the post Covid-19 pandemics. I have placed application letters in some companies hoping they would call me. The organization I currently work with pays as and when; we can go three months without pay and even before one is paid, you would have borrowed money from others for them to be settled.

Throughout this time, I have been able to save some GHs 4000. Sometimes I dip into that savings just to take care of me, sometimes her needs and that of my mom, to the extent that, my savings had reduce to GHs 2000, and if I am not careful by the end of February, it would be finished.

My girl is a baker and a very good one. Her pastries taste so good and everybody loves it. She bakes the pastries and gives it out to people to sell. Most of them come for the products, and after selling, bringing the money becomes a problem. Stories here and there; people are owing her some money but at the end you get what they give you with excuses here and there. I sometimes take some to sell myself. At the end, whatever we get we use it on food, bills, her personal needs in addition to what I sometimes get, which is not enough for savings.

We are okay in terms of food and petty bills. Dave, my point is how do I get married, when we can’t save money towards that? She is not getting any younger; she will be 34 years in the next three-months and I will be 35 in the coming five-months. Should I let her go so she can find somebody with the means to marry her or should I still keep my faith in God that help will come one day? The truth is I don’t want to lose or let her go, but if that’s what I am supposed to do to make her happy, that’s a sacrifice I will be willing to take. I am so confused and this eating me up. I need help.

Image Credit: Max Vakhtbovych