Let’s Talk To Maxton
David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)
Participant 128: Maxton bro
DBM: Hi Maxton. How would you describe yourself?
Maxton: An achiever, happy and I treat people close to me well.
DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?
Maxton: 8
DBM: What do you want to talk about?
Maxton: My biological father failed me. He was not that much involved in my life while growing up. I sometimes feel like I could have had a better chance of excelling on a social basis, emotionally and academically if he had been present to me. He is still alive though. The man I had the privilege of calling ‘father’ was a former school mate’s and childhood best friend’s dad. He opened his home to me when he picked his son from schools 34 years ago, and I think heard me crying. He could tell I was hungry just by looking at me. I remember his son looking at him and asking if I could go home with them. His son had been sharing his food with me for weeks but had to stop upon advisement. I wasn’t a student at the school; I went there only with the hope of finding food to eat. Even with my 12-year-old mind, I could tell he saw his dad as an example of how to express concern and care. He could empathize with me because he was sensitive to his emotions, and could express exactly how he felt about my plight.
DBM: How old was his son?
Maxton: 10 or 11
DBM: Where was your mother during this period?
Maxton: Dead
DBM: Why wasn’t your father taking full responsibility of your wellbeing?
Maxton: His wife had suggested I rather stayed with one of my uncles. My uncle wasn’t married and was never home; I was always hungry. Going to that school was my refuge. I met people who liked me, got food to eat and books to read.
DBM: What’s your relationship with your biological father now?
Maxton: I’ve forgiven him. That’s not to say I condone his neglect
DBM: Understood.
Maxton: Yeah, I demanded for an apology. I felt he had hurt me in a way that, my expected response was to do something to even up or hit him where it would hurt. But he said he was sorry, and I believed him.
DBM: What happened after the other man had seen you crying at his son’s school?
Maxton: He bought me food, and then told me to visit their house anytime I felt like playing with his son. He got me enrolled in the school and paid for my fees.
DBM: What’s your life like now?
Maxton: I’m happily married, a father of two and love my kids to death. I am enjoying the whole process of influencing the lives and wellbeing of my children. The relationship I have with them is healthy; I understand them, I’m conscious of their feelings because I make time to bond with them; we talk to one another
DBM: How important is being a father to you?
Maxton: It’s a blessing I will not trade for anything else in the world. My kids think of me as the comedian of the house because I make them laugh all the time. I love hearing the sound of their laughter and their happiness therein. Also, I thought my wife was the love of my life till my troublesome kids came along. The depth of my love for them cannot be quantified. I love to look at them fall asleep, I love to hug them back, I love the way they smell, I love to kiss them goodnight etc. They bring the better version of me that I never knew existed out to play.
DBM: What do you think your wife thinks of you as the father of her children?
Maxton: I don’t know. Unless you ask her yourself
DBM: But she’s not part of the chat
Maxton: Hold on, will call her to come answer. Her name is Adjeley
Adjeley: Hello David
DBM: Hello! How are you doing?
Adjeley: Fine, thank you. How about you?
DBM: I am doing alright, thanks. How would you describe your husband’s relationship with the children?
Adjeley: He loves them and always wants to be close to them. He enjoys teaching them new things and likes playing with them. He homeschools them during the weekends, helping them with their homework and going over whatever they had learned in the week. We do a lot of family outings too. I think because his father wasn’t that involved in his life, he’s choosing to be there for ours so the world someday can be prepared to receive them.
DBM: How is he as a husband?
Adjeley: He enjoys me and loves being near me. He tenderly shows it in the manner of ways he manages to spend time with me. He is a patient man. He is sensitive to my needs and speaks to me in a soft tone of voice. We’ve been married for 10 years and he’s never shouted at me before. He’s my buddy-buddy, has great sense of humor, he’s a great communicator and loves to talk to me about everything. He makes me happy. And, I’m well taken care of. He’s the one person I believe I can count on when the going gets tough. I trust my husband not to betray what we have built together.
DBM: Is there anything you want to say to him?
Adjeley: Mr. Quartey, you’re the only man who has made the effort to adapt to me, putting aside your own preferences just to make what we have work. I respect the way you respect me; I love the way you love me. You’re everything I dreamed for our children. You’re a great guy, and I am holding on to you till death do us part.
DBM: Thank you! Let me talk to your husband now.
Maxton: Dave
DBM: Yo! Your wife loves you very much
Maxton: The feeling is mutual
DBM: How did you meet?
Maxton: A friend introduced us. The moment I saw her, I had a hunch that she was meant for me. I fancied her. I was attracted to her
DBM: Is she a good woman to you?
Maxton: She is
DBM: How about to the children?
Maxton: She captures their attention. She’s a good mother
DBM: Participant 127, Silas, left a question for you: ‘Which is ideal, loving smart or hard – and damning the consequence?’
Maxton: I do not think I have anything to prove to anyone when it comes to loving my wife and children. I show my love the greatest way I know how, and they get it. It is not attached to the opinions of people
DBM: It’s your turn to leave a question behind for the next participant
Maxton: What gets you out of bed every morning?
DBM: Thank you!
Image Credit: Brett Sayles
