Let’s Talk To Emmett
David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)
Participant 139: Emmett
DBM: Hello Emmett. How would you describe yourself?
Emmett: Competent
DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?
Emmett: 4
DBM: What do you want to talk about?
Emmett: I did not show up at my own wedding. I hadn’t planned to do this but it happened, and a part of me till this day regret what I did to my woman and her family. Even my own family. It’s been 10 months since it happened and I want to get married to my fiancée all over again. I made a bad call and have apologized to her, but her family is not willing to let go.
DBM: Your fiancée has forgiven you?
Emmett: Not really but she’s admitted to still being in love with me
DBM: Why did you not show at your wedding?
Emmett: It’s a long story
DBM: I have time
Emmett: She had dated my cousin prior to us meeting. I found out about it the morning of our wedding. My cousin’s girlfriend had come across a conversation between them and it seemed like my cousin still is into her. She sent me screenshots and I blew the whole issue out of proportion. I should have confronted my woman but … Also, I considered going ahead with the wedding and then, divorcing her the next day or just sticking it out. But I couldn’t control my anger and tears. I asked my Best Man on our way to the church to pull over just so I could cry. I couldn’t go ahead with the wedding
DBM: Has she any feelings for your cousin?
Emmett: No
DBM: Why didn’t she tell you about him?
Emmett: She didn’t know we were related until a few days to our wedding
DBM: Do you know why they broke up?
Emmett: He had gotten a different woman pregnant
DBM: Do you trust your girlfriend?
Emmett: Yes
DBM: How do you understand love?
Emmett: Not putting expectations on the one I care about dearly. Not assuming I know all there is to her. Not trying to change her into someone she’s not.
DBM: What was your relationship with her like?
Emmett: It was good, peaceful, committed, with a lot of compromise. We used to forgive each other freely. There was a lot of fun and laughter and happiness. We both made the effort. The feeling was great, energized and motivated by pure intentions. We had sex three times a week, and that made me very happy
DBM: What was your state of mind like, when you asked her to marry you?
Emmett: We had talked about settling down in marriage. We were excited about it and looking forward to making our relationship official. I was in a good place with us and myself, most importantly, when I proposed. I experienced what it meant to be a happy man because of her
DBM: How would you describe her character?
Emmett: She’s a better human being than I am
DBM: Have you spoken to your cousin?
Emmett: I have
DBM: What did he say?
Emmett: He explained why my woman ended things between them
DBM: He’s still into her?
Emmett: Yes
DBM: How does this make you feel?
Emmett: He told me, ‘May the better man win her over again’
DBM: Meaning?
Emmett: He’s broken up with his girlfriend to chase after my woman
DBM: Your family, how did they react to your decision?
Emmett: I don’t know how they feel about what happened but my mother still wants me to marry my woman. She believes she’s the one meant for me
DBM: Is she?
Emmett: She’s the woman for me, and the best relationship I’ve ever had. And it’s not because I want her for myself; what we share is about something way bigger; a beautiful life we can create together. Any man to be loved by her should count themselves, lucky
DBM: How did she react after what you did?
Emmett: She did not talk to me for weeks
DBM: Do you understand why her family wants nothing to do with you?
Emmett: Yes, but I will keep apologizing to them till they find it in themselves to forgive me
DBM: How did you two first meet?
Emmett: I met her in court. She had accompanied my client, her friend to her divorce proceeding. The client introduced us after her divorce hearing, and I think was trying to hook me up with her.
DBM: You’re a lawyer?
Emmett: I am
DBM: Can I ask a question or two, unrelated to our chat?
Emmett: Yes
DBM: Do most divorcing clients opt for your services with the intention of keeping their divorce proceedings cordial?
Emmett: Majority of my clients do hope for an amicable process with their spouse. But a large percentage of them come to me tremendously hurt at heart and emotionally triggered. I offer two approaches when it comes to the termination of a marriage, and the client achieving his or her expected results: the HARD way or the EASY way
DBM: To what extent are you willing to go to keep your client satisfied?
Emmett: Clients hire me specifically to do a job. I am therefore, required to legally and ethically do my job to the best of my ability – with just one goal in mind, accomplishing the expectations entrusted by the client.
DBM: If you’re to advise anyone considering a divorce, what would you say to them?
Emmett: What you are considering may be entirely different from what you’d eventually decide to do. Understand the divorce process by talking to people who have been through it; read online to have an idea about it. You need to have money saved to embark on this journey. Be mindful of what you say to the people around you. If you have children, know it’s going to impact them one way or the other. Be certain there is no love left in you for the other party. Divorce is just another phase of life. Life goes on, and you can love again afterwards. Just be patient and kind with yourself. Be interested in knowing how your attorney thinks, be interested in their behavior. You can choose to like or not, your attorney. But you have to trust and be confident in their services.
DBM: Participant 138, Hera, left a question for you: ‘You are being given the chance to make your one wish come true, what would it be?’
Emmett: To marry my fiancée and make peace with her family. She did nothing wrong. I made the decision not to wed because I wasn’t ready to forgive or know the truth. That also made me realize I wasn’t ready to be a husband.
DBM: It’s your turn to leave a question behind for the next participant
Emmett: Has something ever started out badly for you but in the end, was great?
DBM: Thank you!
Image Credit: Dellon Thomas
