Date Me! (Q&A) 3

Francisca Senaya,

He raised concerns over whether I had been sleeping with my boss while dating him. I didn’t feel the need to respond to his question, and so I pretended I didn’t hear him. But I told him I needed to date and explore other options after what he had put me through; I needed to date men who have never hurt me. He didn’t believe I was or could have gotten married that soon. He didn’t think my family would even allow that. He thought I was making an attempt to get him jealous, thus projecting a false representation of myself to him.

I insisted on being friends with him after he expressed his interest again but he wanted more than just friendship. He did apologize though, for the humiliation he caused. He acknowledged how he had hurt me and what he had learned from his actions. He promised not to repeat his mistakes again if I gave him a second chance. It was when my husband joined the table that he realized I wasn’t joking about being married. My ex was a bit disappointed but his emotions were not my responsibility. He was respectful and I think he handled my new reality like a grown adult.

Over the years, he would call me once or twice in a year to check on me and apologize. He married a different woman eventually. He and the lady he cheated on me with have a son together. I did not need to find closure in my ex. I found closure from within and believing in the fact that, not all men are out to hurt me. That was what healed my heartbreak. I had to let the memory of my ex go, and I never contacted him again for any reason.