Let’s Talk To Ofori: Part 1

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 23: I’m Ofori

DBM: Hi Ofori. Please tell me a little about yourself.

Ofori: 70 years young. I have had my share of the ups and downs and I believe that is what has made me the man I am today. They say I have a good sense of humor and very opinionated; I get out of bed early because my knees have started to hurt and everything aches lately.

DBM:  Why is a 70-year-old man on Facebook?

Ofori: I have been monitoring my children. I read from a few platforms to also see what’s happening. My daughter indirectly introduced your account to me. She comments a lot under your posts, and it was showing in my newsfeed. I think I’ve followed you for three years.

DBM: Nice meeting you, Sir. What do you want to talk about?

Ofori: I want to talk about my journey as a man.

DBM: Oh, nice! I am interested.

Ofori: I was in prison when I was 22 years old. I got released at age 32. I married at age 33.

DBM: Why were you in prison?

Ofori: I beat my father for beating my mum. He collapsed in the process because I hit his head with a sharp object. I was arrested and the rest is history.

DBM: How was life in prison?

Ofori: Imagine a boarding school built not to educate but frustrate and punish you. Every given moment of your day is scheduled and tightly controlled. You do not have the luxury to make a plan; lights go on and off per someone’s instruction; you do not have a choice to eat what you want; you force yourself to eat what you are given else you will go hungry. At night, there is the cessation of all movement and activities. You breathe the same stinking air and smell; it becomes your new normal. Life in prison is not a life any young man should experience. Being completely removed from society is not pleasant. We think Ghana is tough? Prison is hell. If you’ve not been caught in certain mistakes yet, find yourself a bit of help so you can get on the right path. It’s never too late.

DBM: How was the feeling after being released?

Ofori: The process was daunting and traumatic; so much anxiety and adjustments. A lot of catching up to be done, while dealing with mental health issues. I was practically stuck and didn’t know how to function in the society.

DBM: You married a year after your release. Tell me about that.

Ofori: I met my wife after I had served my first five years in prison. Her church had organized an event at our station, and they came to screen us. She was part of the health team that attended to me. While they took our samples and examined us, they asked what brought us to prison. I shared my story and she developed an interest in my case.

DBM: What was your first impression of her?

Ofori: I thought she was alright.

DBM: Your taste?

Ofori: It didn’t really matter to me because I knew she wasn’t going to fall for an inmate.

DBM: But was she your taste?

Ofori: She wasn’t. She came back 13 months later to visit me.

DBM: You remembered her?

Ofori: I did. She was the only one in the health team who looked me in the eyes and smiled at me during their outreach. I took a picture of her smiling – with my mind, and I looked at her every now and then.

DBM: Did she have the same smile when you saw her again?

Ofori: Even better. I told her I had been thinking about her.

DBM: Had you?

Ofori: You’re not listening. I just told you I look at her picture with my mind. Of course, I had been thinking about her. She told me she used to think about me too.

DBM: How did that make you feel?

Ofori: It was at that point that I realized she was my taste.

DBM: How so?

Ofori: My wife demonstrated mercy and grace amidst my hardship. Days after our second meet, I developed feelings for her because she’s a woman of impeccable character and stanch integrity. She was compassionate to my needs. 37 years in marriage, and she’s still the same towards me. I seriously cannot put a measure to my wife’s worth.

DBM: Why did you marry her?

Ofori: When I suggested marriage to her, I wasn’t working. I did not have money to even feed myself. I didn’t have a place to lay my head because my father didn’t want me around. My wife took me in. It was a risky decision she took, but she did anyways. She can be very stubborn; I have to admit. I felt so alone when I came out of prison. Marrying my wife eliminated loneliness for me.

DBM: How old is your wife?

Ofori: She’s two years older than me.

DBM: 72

Ofori: Yes!

DBM: How has marriage been like for you thus far?

Ofori: Nothing I could have ever dreamt of. It’s been beautiful, as well as hard. But we’ve moved through the tests of life together.

DBM: How many children?

Ofori: Four wonderful humans.

DBM: How important is sex in your marriage?

Ofori: As a young couple, we had a lot of sex while we could. Before and after the births of our children. Our emotional connection is still intact due to memories from the good old days.

DBM: Can I ask a personal question?

Ofori: I am already answering personal questions. Shoot!

DBM: Have you cheated on your wife before?

Ofori: The thought had occurred to me a couple of times from all directions, but I did not pursue the temptation. The bond I have with my wife is deep and that has been my support to stay true to my vows. I was not in a hurry to get where I was going with my wife in our marital journey. Most of the parties in marriages today are in such a hurry to reach a certain cloud, they have no sense of slowing down to appreciate, and be content with the little steps they take.

DBM: How have you been able to stay married this long?

Ofori: Oh, I have been reminding myself why my wife looks pretty to me. Whenever I hear her voice, I remind myself why I am still in love with her, especially during disagreements and fights. I look at the changes in her body that I don’t like so much, and rather zoom in, and sharpen the focus of my attention to the charming details about her that I used to see as amazing. I always remember why she’s my favorite woman, and I choose to be with her every day.

Image Credit: Kindel Media