Death – Page 2

HIS LIGHT STILL SHINES

Written by David B on July 18, 2022. Posted in Blog. 2 Comments

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name you fancy)

Participant 8: Akos.

DBM: Tell me anything about yourself

AKOS: I am a self-motivated person, a Christian and a lover of the word of God. I am the outgoing type; I love to have fun in my own world. I am a home maker and I have the heart of a man.

DBM: How long have you been married?

AKOS: 8+ years.

DBM: What was your perfect ‘type’ of a man or woman? Did your husband or wife fit into your exact specifications?

AKOS: Frankly, I didn’t have anything like the perfect picture in mind. One thing I think I always wanted in a man was someone who was intelligent and had a vision, and I saw that in my hubby. I just loved my husband for who he was. He was averagely tall with a thick masculine body, dark in complexion and was in academia, which I truly loved.

DBM: So, how did you two meet?

AKOS: He was my superior at work.

DBM: Do you consider your significant other as your best friend?

AKOS: Partially yes. Soccer was his life, so in the initial stages of our marriage, it was like he was married to soccer, and not to me.

DBM: When did you make him or her laugh the most? What happened?

AKOS: When we had a family dance with the kids, and when I had a surprise birthday party for him.

DBM: At what point were you certain he or she was the one for you?

AKOS: After my first child.

DBM: Do you still find your husband or wife physically attractive?

AKOS: Yes, he had always been. My husband was always on point with his dressing, work, food, just name it. He was just the perfect gentleman in my own world.

DBM: In a deeper conversation with your spouse, do you listen just to completely understand or you listen simply to formulate your response?

AKOS: I completely listened, as more times – I needed insight from him. He was indeed my world.

DBM: How is your significant other faring in the position as a husband or wife?

AKOS: He was trying everything possible to give me a perfect world. Our major problem had always been his addiction to soccer.

DBM: Which of your wedding vows means the world to you?

AKOS: I’ll love and cherish you in the good and bad. I’ll love you the best way I can ever, and will be the best parent to our children yet to be born.

DBM: What is the most fun you both have had in the relationship?

AKOS: Trying to help the needy the best way we could, even when the going became tough. He always loved to give. The last charity he made was in December.

DBM: Is the love for your husband or wife growing any stronger by the day?

AKOS: I kept falling in love and talking about his love, and I still talk about it.

DBM: Do you trust your husband or wife?

AKOS: I didn’t trust my husband fully because he was the ‘ladies’ man’. He had women proposing to him almost all the time. He just had that vibe.

DBM: How much time do you spend on your husband or wife?

AKOS: We barely had time for each other because of work but when we had the least opportunity, we always made the best of it.

DBM: Emotionally, do you feel connected than before?

AKOS: I feel more connected, much more than ever.

DBM: Do you feel secure in the marriage?

AKOS: No! I had felt threatened on several occasions, though my hubby promised me a beautiful marriage.

DBM: Where do you see you and your spouse in the next 10 years?

AKOS: I’ve always anticipated our marriage standing on a solid Christian faith, full of love and joy.

DBM: What is your ideal sex life?

AKOS: Trying new things to spice our wonderful sex life, but along the line it flopped due to health issues from my spouse.

DBM: Rate your current sex life (out of 10)

AKOS: It was 6 out of 10.

DBM: What is your understanding of love?

AKOS: Patience, understanding and being there to give a shoulder when necessary. Being each other’s confidant and backbone.

DBM: Are you feeling loved in your marriage?

AKOS: I used to feel loved.

DBM: Are you a good spouse?

AKOS: There’s no perfect marriage but I tried to be a great wife. Honestly, I hardly let go of what hurt me. And I loved to pay back sometimes. I easily got provoked and angry, and my husband was always there to comfort and share my pain, even if I was angry at him.

DBM: Have you cheated on your husband or wife with another man or woman?

AKOS: Never!

DBM: Say something to your spouse from your heart.

AKOS: The husband of my youth, my all-time lover boy, you know how we rocked it and you know the special place you have in my heart. The space can never and will never be occupied. I think of you day and night and I wish I could turn back the hands of time and have a more solid lovely perfect marriage with you. It’s been months without you and it feels like forever. When I close my eyes to pray, I still tell God to incubate your soul peacefully for us until we meet in eternity someday.

My anointed general may you keep resting peacefully. We dearly love and miss you today and forever. From us on earth to you in heaven.

A LOT UNSAID

Written by David B on July 7, 2022. Posted in Blog.

Please keep me anonymous. Me and my wife are dealing with a complicated issue that is getting us worried. Our close friend died last year. She was in the process of divorcing her husband when we gave her and her kids our spare rooms. She was also battling cancer. Her husband isn’t our buddy-buddy as his wife was but he is a friend to me and my woman. Our friend died due to the cancer but before she died, she wrote a legal document in the presence of her attorney requesting that me and my wife bury her. She didn’t want anything to do with her ex-husband; she didn’t want to have anything to do with her own family.

Dave, a lot was going on in her life which she left unsaid. That was part of the reason why it was hard for me to tell if she was actually in an unhappy marriage or she was just going through a rough patch. We knew something wasn’t right when she moved to our house with her children. Our late friend, who used to talk to my wife says our friend’s family were on the side of her husband and believed in his lies more than her complaints. Also, because he was good at giving her mother, father and siblings gifts and money, they assumed he was a good man for their daughter. But she was suffering in the marriage. The contents in the legal document she prepared before she died stated that we should send her children to her ex-husband the first week after her death. It also said we were to buy a coffin and bury her without holding a funeral. She’s an insurer and had left money to cover her coffin and burial processes.

She wrote in the document that she did not want her mother, father, sisters, brothers, ex-husband or children around her corpse. She wanted only me and my wife to bury her privately without fanfare. Her last instruction was that she didn’t want us to show any member of her family where we buried her. Her lawyer ensured we had honored her last wishes. Th problem is that, when we took the children to her ex-husband’s office and informed him about his ex-wife’s demise, he called his in laws to tell them. The family is now on our neck to produce the buried body. It’s been three months and we are not having it easy. They brought the police to our house, etc. But because there is a legally binding document in our favor, there hasn’t been any arrests. But her family is always at our main gate in black and red attires, demanding for their corpse. I was telling my wife we show them where we buried their relative but she and the lawyer are insisting we do not go against her dead friend’s wishes.

Dave, the woman is dead. What else can a dead body do? Wouldn’t it be easier showing them where we buried her?

Image Credit: Cottonbro

THE PICTURE

Written by David B on July 7, 2022. Posted in Blog.

Hello David,

My wife is dead. We buried her four months ago. I never believed I could say this but I am very disappointed in the bitter memory she’s left on my mind. I fell in love with a woman I now consider my soul mate. My wife was alive when this happened and she found out. We came to an agreement that we both went our separate ways to chase our happiness. Unfortunately, we could not begin with the divorce process when she died. But between me and her, we were over.

I wasn’t in Accra when she died. Our children were with her at the hospital. And I got to know later that she had shared a picture of my woman with our children. Mind you, my kids are 11, 13, and 15. Two girls and a boy. They don’t like my woman. They all give her attitude when I bring her home. I don’t know what my wife told them about her but knowing my wife, she polluted my children. I found the picture of my lady in the drawer of my second daughter. It is the same picture my wife confronted me as proof when she found out about my relationship. I know I will not allow the children I am taking care of to dictate who I fall in love with. They don’t have a say in this. What I am looking for from your platform is suggestions to convince my children their future step mum isn’t as bad as their mother said.

I don’t understand why they don’t want to give her the opportunity to prove herself to them. She’s a wonderful woman, Dave. I have never loved any woman as much as I love her. She makes me a better version of myself, and she will be the perfect mother to fill their mother’s shoes. What should I do? Because ending things with her is out of the question. I will marry her by the end of the year.

Image Credit: Cottonbro

Tag: Death

HIS LIGHT STILL SHINES

A LOT UNSAID

THE PICTURE

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