Tag: Divorce

HIDDEN AND DENIED

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

I am a 39-year-old-man with a biological clock ticking away and giving me baby fever. I have desired to be a family man for years. I was married for eight years without a child. I made a few mistakes and my wife and I went our separate ways. Before the divorce, she was also seeing someone. Five months into the divorce process, she started to show. I thought she was putting on weight but it wasn’t weight. She doesn’t wear loose-fitting clothes…. all her dresses used to hug her body. She wasn’t wearing those to court anymore. She even wore jackets to three of our hearings. Dave, my wife doesn’t do thick material. She was trying to conceal a growing bump. She finally couldn’t hide it anymore. It’s been one year since our divorce was granted. I haven’t seen the baby, but mutual friends who have seen her all tell me she has my eyes and forehead. She hasn’t shared any pictures of the child on any of her social media platforms.

Do I have the right to request for a DNA test to know if she is my baby? The other guy has named her, so she carries his surname but I want to be sure it’s really his. My ex and I don’t talk so it’s very difficult for me to navigate through this issue.

Image Credit: Jeffrey Riley

YESTERDAY TODAY

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

Dear David,

Can I use a personal experience to speak to ladies who read from your Facebook page? The man I used to love yesterday belongs to someone else today. Before today, we wanted to explore life; me and my ex-husband. We started life together living in a one-bedroom apartment, somewhere in Dzorwulu. We started adjusting to the wind and grind of real life after our wedding and honeymoon quickly. We were naked to win. It was a girl. We lay bare two years later, it was a boy. Dave, I follow through a promise; everything I said before ‘I do’, I meant it. So, you can imagine when I grew a sense of shock after the first revelation. It was stunning; it was sad. I was heartbroken. I could not believe my own was her own.

I ran through all my previous moments with my ex-husband that had made me feel loved. I was prepared not to judge him as a man; I was prepared not to judge him as the husband who couldn’t follow through the vows he made to me on the altar. I stayed calm to forgive. In fact, I believe in talking. He said romance between us was dwindling. What could I do to inspire a better sex life? ABCDEFG, he wanted; I did! It spiced things up a bit.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t be the husband he vowed to be weeks later. He couldn’t be the man I needed him to be, and so I had to respect who he was, and choose the man he was or find the man I wanted for me. Dave, there was a great guy underneath all the affairs and lies. My ex-husband has a lot of qualities I want, but he was not the man I needed to be married. I had to be single again.

Six years later, my heart started to pound with strange excitement. Mr. Arthur wanted to ‘Mrs. Arthur’ me. I had two weeks to think about his proposal. All at once, in-between the proposal week, I saw my main gate open. It was my ex-husband.

“I want to make it up to you.”

He wanted a third chance. Dave, have you ever thrown away garbage and gone back to the truck to pick back the trash? 2022 is my 7-year Mrs. Arthur ride. I said “Yes” to Mr. Arthur, because his actions tell me beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is the husband I need. The going has been tough; we fight, but with Mr. Arthur, it is worth every sleepless night and bad days.

Image Credit: Markus Spiske

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