Tag: Friendship

UNDENIABLY SEXY AND MYSTERIOUS

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

Mr. Dave, hi!

What I do for a living looks like prostitution but I am a lady with an MSc. in Accounting and Finance. I love sex, yes, but I have big dreams too. Most of my clients are married men. I want to focus on other things; marriage is not part of my expectations. Dave, I am happy and satisfied with what I do and I don’t want to change what’s working for me by complicating things with marriage and children.

I am sending you this message because one of my clients wants to marry me. He knows my mother and has gone to tell her about his plans for me. He knows I give sex for money. He was married when he became a client but is divorced now. After his first booking, he wanted more of me, and so he booked me for himself for six months and paid. I got pregnant and aborted. I didn’t tell him about it. Six months is over and he wants to book another six months service. Old clients want to book my services.

Dave, If I am to calculate what I make from individual bookings in a day, I make more than the six months he pays for. Because he is someone I know and like, I don’t over charge. He can’t afford me. He doesn’t understand why I have a good job yet sleep with men. He doesn’t understand that it’s not about the money. It’s the fact that I love sex; variety of sex is what I like, not money. I love to smell different men, etc. I don’t want to marry because I don’t fancy the idea of being tied down to someone. Wedding dress, food, liquor, venue rings all these are frivolous to me; it’s cost.

Also, it’s married men patronizing my services; not only me, married men patronize the services of my friends in similar business. I can’t buy into it. My best friend’s husband got the number of my service and booked for three hours. We met and we were both surprised. Sex happened and he wants more. That is why I am writing to you, dear David. It’s complicated. He says my friend neglects his needs, and that she is more focused on the children, and she’s always tired when she comes to bed. He says there is no fun in their sex life. The sex he wants at home he doesn’t get. He says with me and other women, he’s able to express himself in whatever way he is unable to do at home with his wife. He says she doesn’t give him attention so he’s always seeking for it at work and social media.

I know my friend is not boring but he says she is. Now he’s saying he connects more with me than his wife. Dave, we just met and hit it once but he is saying there is something undeniably sexy about the mystery of me. In all honestly, I love his energy in bed. I am only worried about my friend. Should I tell her what her husband says is happening in their marriage or strictly treat this new encounter as another business? I want to do the right thing.

Image Credit: Maddy Freddie

GOOD FOR ME IS THELMA

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

Wifey and I have been married for 27 years. We were not boyfriend-girlfriend. She didn’t believe in that. She wanted a friend not boyfriend. She always says, friendship has less expectations. She wasn’t asking me for money or gifts when we were friends. I gave her money and gifts because of the way she carried herself. She did not give me sex in the friendship zone. I had my first sex with her on our wedding night. I knew she had deeper feelings for me but I was so much in love with her, I couldn’t remain her friend. I had to do the honorable thing. I married her. She was 36. I was 42.

David, I have been reading from your page and some of the stories people share makes me question whether or not they were ready before settling in marriage. From my experience, I don’t think girls should marry in their 20’s. Girls need to live their fullest lives as single women till their early or mid 30’s. This is my reason: Most guys start to discover who they are and who they want to spend their lives with in their mid to late 30’s. It’s at those ages that they feel growth within themselves. It’s at that age that they appreciate sacrifice and commitment. Don’t get me wrong, I know men in their 40’s and 50’s acting stupid but Dave, most guys understand what it means to be in a serious relationship from 36 up. I love sex like a dog on heat but in my 27 years marriage, the number of times I have been a couple with my wife outnumbers our sexual escapes times a million. Sex is great in marriage, but sex is not everything. That’s why when I read from the guys and girls cheating because of sex, I am convinced they weren’t ready to be married.

It’s okay to be single and content till you’re ready to be responsible. I married Thelma because I wanted to be her provider. My wife is a lawyer. She did not need my money then. She doesn’t need my money now. But as her husband, I am her provider. When we used to rent, I never asked her to contribute to rent or bills. Now we live the good life. When I lost my job, she stepped in for three years to be my provider. I knew where my wife was going in life and I believed she was worthy of a man who believed in her dreams. Later, I found out that I am deserving of a woman who is worthy of where I am going, and that was my Thelma.

Young people should not be rushing into marriage. Be patient. Wait. Have time for yourself. Grow, earn on your own merit, hard work and save. Have fun; make friends and don’t think so much about having a boyfriend or girlfriend. When you’re ready to marry, marry that friend who is good for you.

Image Credit: Alex Green

A LOT UNSAID

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

Please keep me anonymous. Me and my wife are dealing with a complicated issue that is getting us worried. Our close friend died last year. She was in the process of divorcing her husband when we gave her and her kids our spare rooms. She was also battling cancer. Her husband isn’t our buddy-buddy as his wife was but he is a friend to me and my woman. Our friend died due to the cancer but before she died, she wrote a legal document in the presence of her attorney requesting that me and my wife bury her. She didn’t want anything to do with her ex-husband; she didn’t want to have anything to do with her own family.

Dave, a lot was going on in her life which she left unsaid. That was part of the reason why it was hard for me to tell if she was actually in an unhappy marriage or she was just going through a rough patch. We knew something wasn’t right when she moved to our house with her children. Our late friend, who used to talk to my wife says our friend’s family were on the side of her husband and believed in his lies more than her complaints. Also, because he was good at giving her mother, father and siblings gifts and money, they assumed he was a good man for their daughter. But she was suffering in the marriage. The contents in the legal document she prepared before she died stated that we should send her children to her ex-husband the first week after her death. It also said we were to buy a coffin and bury her without holding a funeral. She’s an insurer and had left money to cover her coffin and burial processes.

She wrote in the document that she did not want her mother, father, sisters, brothers, ex-husband or children around her corpse. She wanted only me and my wife to bury her privately without fanfare. Her last instruction was that she didn’t want us to show any member of her family where we buried her. Her lawyer ensured we had honored her last wishes. Th problem is that, when we took the children to her ex-husband’s office and informed him about his ex-wife’s demise, he called his in laws to tell them. The family is now on our neck to produce the buried body. It’s been three months and we are not having it easy. They brought the police to our house, etc. But because there is a legally binding document in our favor, there hasn’t been any arrests. But her family is always at our main gate in black and red attires,  demanding for their corpse. I was telling my wife we show them where we buried their relative but she and the lawyer are insisting we do not go against her dead friend’s wishes.

Dave, the woman is dead. What else can a dead body do? Wouldn’t it be easier showing them where we buried her?

Image Credit: Cottonbro

LINDA

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog. 15 Comments

I have been writing and deleting this story for 28 days now, Dave. I don’t know how to write it well. I want to celebrate my wife Linda, because these memories I share with her are precious for my life but I don’t know how to whirl my words to capture the moment. The first day I met my wife, it was drizzling on the motorway. She was walking very fast to find a place to hide. She was holding a bag; I stopped on the side to give her a lift.

She was going to Tema. It was one of those days that I felt like helping a stranger. When she sat in my car, I realized she was crying. She looked tired and wanted to take a rest. I wanted to know what was wrong with her, but she didn’t want to talk to me. When we reached the tollbooth, she asked me to buy her water and bread. She ate and drank side by side. She thanked me and answered my question; she was crying because no one would buy what she left the house to go and sell. What was she selling? Her wedding gown. She wanted just GHs 700 for  the dress because she was broke. When we got to Tema, she showed me the dress. What was the original price when she bought it fresh? GHs 3500. She didn’t want to sell it because she believed it held the pinnacles of her beauty; her romance, her story. But she needed money. She had sold almost all her valuables. I gave her GHs 1000 and asked her to keep the dress. We exchanged numbers and became friends. I got to know she was divorced and had a son.

I was not having second thoughts about my friendship with her. She was the one; I wasn’t hyped about her 24/7 but Dave, I wasn’t bored liking her almost every day. My day dreams were about her. How she related to me kept my interest in her. Our communication was on the daily basis and we got to know one another better. She no longer felt like my friend, she was my lover in my mind. She wasn’t manipulative; she doesn’t say disparaging things to me. She celebrates all of my accomplishments. I could not push her boundaries to get what I wanted. I respect my wife so much. Two months after becoming friends, I invited her to stay in my house for the weekend. She hasn’t left eight years later.

Since I met my wife, we’ve made each other better versions of ourselves. When we held hands on our wedding day, I told myself to remember that, Linda is my best friend. I didn’t care how long we had known each other. She is the mother of our children; the woman to care for me till death do us part. The woman I will love till we are old and grey and dead. David, words cannot describe how I felt when her son walked her down the aisle to marry me. Because she told me all about her first marriage, I have made sure in our eight years of marriage, not to clam up about any issue, nor withdraw from one another when we argue. We do not dwell too much on what hurts us between us. We do not hold onto a grudge; we have made sure not to walk on eggshells around one another, nor allow bitterness to build when we have disagreements. There hasn’t been an accumulation of hurts from our indifferences.

I don’t spend too much time on phone or social media. I make time for my wife and children. I don’t lie about my finances. I don’t have affairs; I help with house chores around the house. My children are my priority when I am home. I am keeping my promises to my wife and don’t have any intentions to sabotage my marriage.

My sweet Linda, you have allowed me to be imperfect. You have lived with all of my faults. I thank you for being everything and more than I deserve. My wife wore the same gown she was selling. We are writing our own story.

Image Credit: Yndira Dejesús

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