Tag: Happiness

Let’s Talk To J4

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog. 4 Comments

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 30: I’m J4

DBM: J4?

J4: June 4th

DBM: Heheheheh! Why do I have a feeling you’re going to excite the living hell out of me?

J4: That’s more of Ginger’s territory. You’re safe with me.

DBM: Hello J4

J4: Hi Daviiiiiiiiiid. I love everything you do on Facebook, YouTube and the website.

DBM: Thank you!

J4: My pleasure.

DBM: Please tell me a little about yourself

J4: I am a 35-year-old Investment Banking and Risk Management professional, single and loving it; very ambitious. I decide what I want to do and then just do it; I love to read, drink good wine; I love to have sex with older men; I’m grateful for the little and big things, and I love money.

DBM: Why particularly older men?

J4: Dave, only a few things get better with age: wine and men

DBM: I see.

J4: Yeaazz! They’re old-school in style, and have got a few experiences under their belts already

DBM: I’m trying to figure out what kind of questions to ask you. Lol!

J4: Feel free

DBM: You seem to have a good day job, why are you into the escort business?

J4: I have two-day jobs. Let me talk about the second job

DBM: Okay

J4: My first boyfriend was about 35 years older than me. I was 19 when I had my first sexual experience, and I remember he approached sex in a playful way with me. I enjoyed how fun sex could be, and decided to be more open and vulnerable with my sexuality.

DBM: Was he married?

J4: Yes!

DBM: What did you want to become when you were young?

J4: I wanted to become a lawyer, but after being in a two-year relationship with my second boyfriend, I wanted to go into investment banking and sex work.

DBM: Sex work is prostitution, no?

J4: That was what I wanted to do initially, till I realized there were ways to make it more appealing – while appreciating the energy of flirtation that comes with it.

DBM: Why did your first relationship end?

J4: He was a player. I wasn’t his only chick.

DBM: You couldn’t have been his only chick, he had a wife

J4: And numerous girlfriends

DBM: How about the second relationship?

J4: Paul was within my age bracket. I thought because I had tried old school and had been let down, why not give the similar age a chance? Also, Lydia was my school mate, and she used to tell me there is the higher likelihood of maintaining a successful relationship with a boy of my own age.

DBM: I see

J4: It didn’t work out because 1: he was broke as fuck; 2: he couldn’t keep it in his pants for just one girl. I weighed the two generations of men I had been with, and decided I’d be better off with a mature man with swag and strong financial footing.

DBM: I see

J4: That’s balanced diet.

DBM: Have you been in any serious relationship since then?

J4: Nope! And it’s not a problem for me because I want to be with men that I have different interests with. It’s always fresh and stimulating that way

DBM: Don’t you sometimes feel alone?

J4: It’s a human experience to be feeling alone from time to time. It doesn’t mean I’m a loser. My clients are mostly married men in a house full of people, but they keep telling me, they feel alone.

DBM: They do?

J4: Yes! They feel like no one in their household understands them.

DBM: What does that mean?

J4: I wouldn’t know, ask your gender.

DBM: How do you deal with your version of aloneness?

J4: I think of creative sexual outlets to boost my mood and metabolism. It helps me to live in the moment.

DBM: Let’s talk about sex

J4: Ah, good! I was wondering when you would come to that.

DBM: Lol!

J4: It’s not funny. That’s why we are here, anaa?

DBM: How do you meet the kind of men you deal with?

J4: They find us

DBM: How? There are a million and one girls on these streets

J4: Dave, I have two jobs, remember? It’s intertwined.

DBM: Oh, my!

J4: I knew you weren’t thinking.

DBM: Lol!

J4: My day-job 1 deals professionally with clients from all sectors: Technology, Manufacturing, Investment, Production, Finance, Science, Retail, Construction, Agriculture, Mining, Healthcare, Energy, Industry, Infrastructure, Trade, Sports, Telecommunications, Hospitality industry, Media, Small business etc.

DBM: What’s the catch here? Lol!

J4: I was not born with silver spoons in my mouth, that’s why I took my education seriously. I may be intelligent, but I am focused. I have determination, I have vision, I have purpose and confidence in my vagina. It’s a beautiful thing, Dave.

DBM: Who was your first client in the second job?

J4: He owns real estate properties.

DBM: You’re still in touch with him?

J4: Yeaazz

DBM: Hehehehe!

J4: He banks with my former employers. He came to the bank one day and my boss needed me to explain some things to him. I did my job and he left a happy man. 45 minutes or less later, one of the security guys in the facility brought me a book. Each page had a 1 dollar note stashed in. It was a 204 paged book. The last page had his phone number and a thank you message. I did not call him. Two weeks later, I got another book, 227 paged. Each stashed with a 1 dollar note. The last page had his phone number again, but this time with the message: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

DBM: What did you want at that time?

J4: I needed a sponsor for my MSc in Investment and Financial Risk Management at Kingston University

DBM: So, what did you do?

J4: I put it across and he was willing to fund my education

DBM: At what cost?

J4: For my time. He is still responsible for some of my all-time best orgasms, 12 at a go.

DBM: Hmmm!

J4: You cannot even imagine it. He has this almost perfect 7 inches curved schlong, that hits my G-Spot with every thrust.

DBM: That’s really something to work with

J4: Oh, yeaazz!

DBM: Why do you think he keeps coming back?

J4: Imagine you, David with his kind of demanding job, and meeting with me for the first time. And in the room with me, you’re still on the phone doing business with clients. I unzip you, and put your shaft in my mouth, blowing you off softly.

DBM: While on the phone with clients?

J4: Yeaazz, Dave, yeaazz!

DBM: Why do you do this second job?

J4: I love to be around men who want to be around me. When we’re together, they talk, share ideas; I listen and learn. In my presence, their minds are entranced by thoughts of finding opportunities within me to feel happy and surprised. Also, the men I meet are hardworking and expect to be enticed by the pleasures of a sexual recompence at the end of a long day.

DBM: So, it’s not about money?

J4: It’s about work and happiness. I work more, I earn more. My second job has given me opportunities that I would never have seen working just the first job.

DBM: Is marriage something of interest to you?

J4: I think of it, but I am not sure I’m built for it.

DBM: Why do you say that?

J4: Marriage hasn’t been on my 10, 15, or even 20-year plan, and Dave, it’s very okay with me. If I want to commit to someone someday, it’s going to be a personal journey to be taken by me and that person. I am not expecting any third party to define what that should look like for my connection.

DBM: Do you use protection when you’re with these guys?

J4: Always.

DBM: How often do you meet with your girlfriends?

J4: We meet once a month to catch up. We also have a SUSU we contribute to for rainy days. We’ve been doing this for almost 20 years. We don’t take loans from outside; we take from our joint savings to do personal projects.

DBM: Lydia mentioned her husband doesn’t approve of you girls. What do you make of that?

J4: We’ve utilized our friendship when we needed it the most, and it has helped us to navigate some of life’s murky waters. That’s why we’re still close.

DBM: Most of your clients are married men, and they talk to you openly. What can you say to married women?

J4: Men want to be desired by you, and giving them a sexual release is what makes them sometimes feel like they’re actually home. Your husband’s drive to want to be intimate with you, often is his route towards loving you. As a wife, you want the emotional connection first, good! Your husband also wants the physical connection in order to feel safe enough for the expressive vulnerability journey you want him to partake with you. Something has got to give.

Image Credit: Jess Loiterton

 

Let’s Talk To Ginger

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog. 13 Comments

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 28: Ginger

DBM: Hehehehe! Why that name?

Ginger: I am punchy and fragrant, warming and spicy, and absolutely fresh

DBM: You’re funny. Lol!

Ginger: I help to make meat softer by breaking down its proteins.

DBM: Okay! But on a serious note, I unquestionably adore ginger when I cook with it.

Ginger: I know you cook. I have seen some of the pictures you post on Facebook when you cook at home. Are you rich?

DBM: I am not rich, yet

Ginger: But you have money?

DBM: I don’t at the moment.

Ginger: Are you married?

DBM: No, I am not.

Ginger: Would you want to cum extremely intensely within 60 seconds?

DBM: No, thank you.

Ginger: Ugh! Dave you’re so boring.

DBM: Why do you think that?

Ginger: You asked Lydia to speak to one of us, I volunteered. You need to let me set the balls rolling.

DBM: Hehehehe! You’re a hot mess

Ginger: Allow me to mess with you a bit. Let me jerk you off, while I suck at the base of your dick; the upper part of your balls I mean… Yeah, right there, on that urethra. Do you feel something?

DBM: I want to know a bit about you.

Ginger: Dave, I’m showing you a bit about me. Let me use my hand on the shaft of your dick, as I use my mouth on the head, rotating my tongue and mouth around it, and over it to stimulate you fully.

DBM: Please tell me a little about yourself.

Ginger: Smh! I hold an MA in English Literary Studies from the University of York; I am 36-ish years old, a single-mother of a 5-year-old child; I have a preference for nonmonogamy attachments, I am level-headed and fun to be with.

DBM: Why do you prefer a non-monogamy relationship?

Ginger: I am more career-oriented. Any form of long-term committed relationship can take up a lot of my time and attention, and I am just not interested in dividing my energy between my work and romance.

DBM: Is marriage on the table some day in the future?

Ginger: No, not interested. I would rather prefer polyamory or simply an open relationship. I’d rather opt for the type with room for consensual engagement in sexual/emotional involvement with more than one person. Unfortunately, marriage doesn’t allow that.

DBM: I see

Ginger: The complicated nature of my work also makes marriage unappealing to me.

DBM: What kind of work do you do?

Ginger: I met a guy 16 years ago. Very handsome with a good sense of humor. We became friends and I think I fell in love with him. I told him about my feelings and he didn’t want to see me again. He had also formed an emotional attachment with me but didn’t want to pursue it because he didn’t want to mess things up with his wife, whom he loved dearly. I found out he was a married man that day, because he didn’t wear a ring. I asked him what he wanted from me, and he said just to spend time with me to talk. He wanted me to be giving him my attention and sex; good sex with no strings attached.

DBM: Was he the first man you fell in love with?

Ginger: No! I was in a two-year relationship with the first guy I had fallen in love with.

DBM: You took this other guy’s offer?

Ginger: I did, because I liked him a lot. Also, he was willing to pay me money for each encounter. I wasn’t the least upset. I was basically going to be selling my time, attention and entertainment.

DBM: What goes into the entertainment?

Ginger: It entails sexual services most of the time to my clients

DBM: How different is this from prostitution?

Ginger: Very different. Prostitutes are all about providing sexual services in exchange for money. I provide far in value to my clients.

DBM: What made things end between you and your first love?

Ginger: I suggested the opportunity to him. We were struggling then, you know, students with no jobs etc. He wasn’t in agreement, but I wanted to do it because I liked the other man. After my first sex with the married one, I told my boyfriend what I had done, and he broke up with me.

DBM: Do you know where he is now?

Ginger: He is doing very well for himself.

DBM: Is he married, with kids, etc.?

Ginger: Yes.

DBM: When last did you speak with him?

Ginger: Five days ago.

DBM: What did you talk about?

Ginger: He’s one of my clients.

DBM: He pays money for the services you provide him?

Ginger: Yes.

DBM: The same one against you being with a married man?

Ginger: I think the devil he knows is better than someone else he doesn’t know.

DBM: How does this make you feel?

Ginger: Dave, it’s strictly business and friendship. Nothing more than that. He’s a business man and would pay for dinner and traveling dates with me.

DBM: What is your charge?

Ginger: I provide hourly services, and I have more control over the kind of service I provide to my clients. There are clearly outlined terms and conditions.

DBM: Are you affordable?

Ginger: I am not affordable to the ordinary Ghanaian.

DBM: I hear there are five of you friends. What makes a great escort?

Ginger: You don’t need to be a thin fashion model. Beautiful, yes! You have to also have the right figure and stay in good shape. Most of my clients choose me because I am not a reflection of what they have at home.

DBM: Their wives, you mean?

Ginger: Yes! You have to also be extremely intelligent and very educated to attract a certain type of clientele. Communication with clients is everything. I am my own escort business, and I am proud of it.

DBM: Share one of your best experiences with a client with me.

Ginger: Oh, a woman booked me for her husband’s 50th birthday. She wanted me to provide him a massage, foreplay, good sex and a fair bit of conversation to commemorate his day.

DBM: Oh my!

Ginger: They’re actually one of my favorite clients. I’ve been booked by her for the past six years, on the 11th of June.

DBM: Is she present when you’re with her husband?

Ginger: She’s been present on three occasions to watch what I do to him.

DBM: At home?

Ginger: No! She always books a hotel suite.

DBM: How is your relationship with this particular man?

Ginger: There is no relationship. I don’t have his contact. I just know his name.

DBM: Did he ask for your number so he could order your services privately?

Ginger: No! He’s never requested for a one-on-one with me before. But he tells me whenever we meet that, he’s always looking forward to seeing me on his birthdays.

DBM: I see.

Ginger: My business is strictly with the wife.

DBM: And, has she ever wondered whether or not you two have been secretly meeting?

Ginger: She’s not had that conversation with me.

DBM: Why do you think is that?

Ginger: She trusts her husband.

DBM: You think the guy is a good guy?

Ginger: He is a good guy. He was very shy on our first meeting. I think he loves his wife.

DBM: And, you’ve not been tempted to go the extra mile with him on separate days?

Ginger: I’m not going to lie; he gives me good sex. But no! He tips on top of the hourly rates his wife pays me on his birthdays.

DBM: How much did his wife pay you on June 11th, 2022?

Ginger: $2500

DBM: How much did he tip you?

Ginger: $500

DBM: For just one night?

Ginger: 8 pm to 5:30 am.

DBM: Who is the father of your child?

Ginger: A guy I used to date. We met in London.

DBM: A client?

Ginger: It started as a client. We developed feelings and I got pregnant.

DBM: Are you still together?

Ginger: No! He wanted me to abort. I wasn’t sure about abortion.

DBM: Does he take care of his child?

Ginger: He’s a responsible man. They’re both in London, spending the holidays together

DBM: Your friend SL talked about how her husband feels about you.

Ginger: We know how he feels about us.

DBM: How does that make you feel?

Ginger: Our friendship with Lydia goes beyond how her husband feels. We’re a group of friends who have supported each other through school, and have been there for one another, no matter what. We don’t judge, we don’t put each other down or deliberately hurt our feelings; we respect one another; enjoy each other’s company; we are loyal and can trust each other; we laugh and stick around when times are hard for any of us; we comfort when one cries, and smile together. We broke this new year as old friends… And maybe, would make new friends as time goes on. But the five of us have an opportunity to share memories from our past years, while sharing our hopes, dreams and plans for 2023.

DBM: What percentage of your clientele are married?

Ginger: 98% of the guys are.

DBM: What do you think wives aren’t doing to keep their men focused on only them?

Ginger: Guys will be who they want to be. You can’t please them. I think unmarried girls should rather understand the types of men they plan dealing with before deciding on taking the marriage route. Else, you will do everything for a man, but if he is not the right guy to respect his relationship and commitment to you, would end up pouring your all into someone with no plans of returning the same energy and effort. Their false sense of security leads them into looking for people like us. Unfortunately, most men are just not trustworthy.

DBM: How would you describe yourself?

Ginger: I am a happy woman with a child.

DBM: Can you get one of your other friends to chat with me?

Ginger: For sure.

DBM: Thank you!

Image Credit: Barbara Olsen

Let’s Talk To Gyaaba

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 26: Gyaaba

DBM: Hello Gyaaba. Please tell me a little about yourself.

Gyaaba: I am 39 years, very independent, organized and detailed; I love to multi-task and I show concern for other people’s feelings, and can connect with them on a personal level. I see myself to be strong, and can easily adapt. I am able to also persevere when obstacles come my way. I believe I belong to God, thus, my resilience and conviction to rather stand firm, come what may.

DBM: You look way younger than your age.

Gyaaba: I am told. Thank you!

DBM: What do you want to talk about?

Gyaaba: I currently live in Houston, but I used to live in Ghana. I used to be married. I ran away from my matrimonial home, five months after our wedding because I realized I had made a mistake – settling into something I did not want.

DBM: You didn’t want to be married?

Gyaaba: I like marriage, but I didn’t want to be married to a man.

DBM: Who did you want to be with?

Gyaaba: A woman.

DBM: You’re a lesbian?

Gyaaba: Yes Dave, I am Lez.

DBM: Hmmm! You know most people in Ghana are uncomfortable with this subject

Gyaaba: Is your readership centered in Ghana?

DBM: No!

Gyaaba: Then I deserve to share what has been my experience.

DBM: Lez go! How did you know you were attracted to the same sex?

Gyaaba: I don’t think I really knew. But in Senior High School, I used to like one of my best friends. I couldn’t stop staring at her anytime we were in class. I thought she looked pretty in everything she wore. Anything she did looked interesting to me. She wasn’t even funny but I thought she had a great sense of humor. I felt heartbroken however, when one of the guys in our class started to get close to her.

DBM: So, you had a crush on a girl, and that was it?

Gyaaba: I attended a mixed school, and in those days, the guys were obsessed with the girls, chasing each other down everywhere, writing themselves love letters, etc.

DBM: Yeah…

Gyaaba: I wanted to write a love letter to a girl.

DBM: I see

Gyaaba: At the university, I tried liking boys

DBM: And how did that go?

Gyaaba: Robert was my first boyfriend. He loved me but I couldn’t feel the same way he felt for me. We dated for three months, and in those months, I would have sex with women in my dreams.

DBM: Did the thought of Robert ever make you feel aroused?

Gyaaba: No!

DBM: Having sex with a woman in your dreams doesn’t necessarily make you a lesbian.

Gyaaba: That was when I started doing a self-reflection. I wanted to understand who I was and what I desired. Timothy asked me out in my third year, and before I knew, he had started to bond. I suddenly became busy with my studies and couldn’t make time for him.

DBM: Were you busy?

Gyaaba: I was trying to avoid him because he tried to kiss me one evening.

DBM: Did you kiss back?

Gyaaba: I was just pale when he planted the kiss on my lips.

DBM: What was the feeling like?

Gyaaba: Nothing I wanted to experience for the second time. I came up with an excuse of tiredness and left him to go sleep. I was disgusted by the idea of doing anything romantic with a guy.

DBM: When did you have your first sex?

Gyaaba: On my honeymoon

DBM: With a man?

Gyaaba: Yes. I was married. I think I am still married, because he’s refused to grant me a divorce after leaving him.

DBM: How long ago since you left?

Gyaaba: I left Ghana in 2011

DBM: This is the five months into your marriage scenario?

Gyaaba: Yes!

DBM: Why did you marry your husband?

Gyaaba: It was revealed to my Pastor that he was the man destined for me.

DBM: Did your Pastor know about your sexual orientation?

Gyaaba: His wife knew. I had confided in her three years prior to the hook-up. I don’t know if she discussed me with her husband.

DBM: Did you believe your husband was the man meant for you?

Gyaaba: I did not, but I went ahead in order for the prophesy to manifest.

DBM: How long did you and your husband date?

Gyaaba: Nine months, I think. We got engaged, and married four months after the engagement.

DBM: Did you enjoy getting to know him as a potential spouse?

Gyaaba: My husband is a great guy; tall, dark, handsome, and with a good job and deep pocket. He is authentic; what you see is what you get. Unfortunately, I realized the way he felt about me was totally different from the way I felt about him. I should have considered his feelings and not gone ahead with the marriage plans. I was not attracted to him.

DBM: When was the last time you spoke to him?

Gyaaba: 2013

DBM: What did you talk about?

Gyaaba: I wanted a divorce.

DBM: That was unfair on your part

Gyaaba: I know. That is why I want to come clean to him

DBM: Does he know why you left?

Gyaaba: I left to pursue a PhD programme. That was my initial excuse. But after the degree, I stayed in America.

DBM: Why did you stay?

Gyaaba: I found the close emotional bond I had been craving for

DBM: In a woman?

Gyaaba: Yes! Once I knew I enjoyed kissing and touching the breast of a woman while going down on her, I had to admit it to myself.

DBM: You’re a Lesbian.

Gyaaba: I am a lesbian!

DBM: How long have you been dating your lady?

Gyaaba: Seven and a half years

DBM: And she’s been the only one in your life?

Gyaaba: One and only

DBM: Who else knows?

Gyaaba: My Pastor’s wife was the only person I told in Ghana. I want to tell my husband the truth.

DBM: Why now?

Gyaaba: He deserves the truth. Secondly, my partner and I want to get married. I have to be divorced to accomplish this.

DBM: Do you know whether or not your husband was able to move on?

Gyaaba: He’s had two kids with someone in my absence. He has moved on.

DBM: Unfortunately, not everyone in Ghana is supportive of the LGBTQ+ community. Is your husband a tolerable environment to come out to?

Gyaaba: I don’t know

DBM: Is he someone you can rely on?

Gyaaba: In which sense?

DBM: How you come out to someone really depends on the kind of relationship you have with them.

Gyaaba: We’ve not spoken in a long time, and our last conversation ended in a fight on the phone.

DBM: I see!

Gyaaba: I know that the moment I tell him this, he will laugh at, or insult me; he will tell his family, mine and friends.

DBM: It’s good you’ve come out to yourself first. I think that is the most important thing.

Gyaaba: I hope so

DBM: Do you love your lady?

Gyaaba: Dave, before I even met her, I dreamt of someone like her; and the dream was beautiful. When she showed up to me, I was least expecting this much happiness in my life. Now I know dreams do come true. I am very much in love and happy to be with her.

DBM: Does she love you as much?

Gyaaba: She loves me very much.

DBM: Then, know that you are loved, needed and valued; your feelings for true love are valid, just as anyone else’s – and that you deserve to be treated with respect. Assuming anyone attempts to make you feel guilty or bad about who you know you are, and whose you belong, just remind yourself of the one person in your life right now who desires to see you become the very best of you, and succeed in whatever beautiful present and future affirms you. Let this foresight make you feel so seen. All you need at the moment is an audience of ONE!

Gyaaba: I think I am going to call my husband right now.

DBM: All the very best.

Gyaaba: Thank you, Sir!

Image Credit: Anna Shvets

Let’s Talk To Sylvester

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog. 3 Comments

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 24: Let’s call me Sylvester

DBM: Hello Sylvester. Please tell me a little about yourself.

Sylvester: I am an extremely simple guy but complex in what I desire. I am married. I love my wife. I have children. I love my children. I share the love I have with other women I am attracted to. I love sex. I love food. I love to travel. I work. I love my job.

DBM: What do you want to talk about?

Sylvester: I want to explain to our women why their husbands love them, but may still be sleeping with other women.

DBM: Why are you cheating on your wife?

Sylvester: Oh! Lol! This is how it’s going to be? Lol!

DBM: I’m just paraphrasing the description you gave of yourself.

Sylvester: Dave, I am not selfish. I am not greedy. It’s not about lust. And, I am very considerate of my wife’s feelings.

DBM: Okay?

Sylvester: I am able to be in love with my wife, and also fall in love with another woman at the same time because no two women are the same. Can you at least agree to this?

DBM: I know no two people are the same.

Sylvester: Good! My wife is an extremely business-driven lady. Trust me, I love that about her. Rose, on the other hand can sit to discuss football with me, dance to the music I dance to, drink tequila, vodka, and rum with me and still be fly.

DBM: Who is Rose?

Sylvester: The third woman I am in love with.

DBM: There is a second?

Sylvester: Yes. And I love all three with the same amount of love.

DBM: Wait, I’m not getting it.

Sylvester: You get it! My wife, who is number one; Ophelia and Rose.

DBM: You are engaging all three as we chat today?

Sylvester: Yes! But I keep them as far away from each other as possible.

DBM: I see.

Sylvester: Ophelia is an excellent cook. She gives me the best sex out of the three. My wife listens but she’s not a great listener as Rose. They are all good mothers to my children.

DBM: You have children with the extra two?

Sylvester: A child each with O and R. However, I have children with my wife.

DBM: Why haven’t you mentioned the other two to your wife?

Sylvester: I am only protecting her from heartbreak.

DBM: Before marrying her, did you ever draw her attention to the fact that, you’re not only made for her?

Sylvester: No!

DBM: Why not?

Sylvester: I didn’t want to lose a good woman.

DBM: But you were very okay with taking away her choice to be with a man who cannot be only hers? She deserved to have an opinion on this matter.

Sylvester: Yes, but it doesn’t mean the love I have for her is gone.

DBM: Does O know there is an R?

Sylvester: No!

DBM: I see.

Sylvester: Dave, I willingly give myself up to each of them. I divide my time and resources accordingly, so none is in dire need.

DBM: Are you doing this because you have money?

Sylvester: I don’t have money. I earn a decent salary. All three women work, so we combine our resources to build what we all share.

DBM: How do you handle the drama each brings to the table?

Sylvester: I am not built to break. My heart is big enough to make room for their wahala.

DBM: Which of them communicates the best?

Sylvester: Rose

DBM: Which of them is ambitious and strong?

Sylvester: My wife.

DBM: Which one values the relationship the most?

Sylvester: Ophelia. Unfortunately, my wife has become complacent, often putting to bed the romantic antics of our relationship.

DBM: Why is that?

Sylvester: Probably because we have been together for a long time.

DBM: Which of them is fun to be with?

Sylvester: I would say, Rose and Ophelia. Ophelia wows me with brutal sex and keeps me active all the time. Rose will drive my lazy butt off the bed to dance with her for hours. She also throws in very important ideas related to my work.

DBM: Which of them do you connect with the most?

Sylvester: I connect with all three on a different level, which satisfies me.

DBM: How about finances?

Sylvester: My wife makes smart decisions when it comes to money.

DBM: Which one supports you the most?

Sylvester: Ophelia

DBM: How about respect?

Sylvester: Rose.

DBM: Vulnerability…

Sylvester: My wife and Rose.

DBM: Which of them keeps you in your element?

Sylvester: They all do, in their own unique ways.

DBM: Which of them are you in love with?

Sylvester: I am in love with my wife. I am in love with Ophelia. I am in love with Rose. My heart starts to pound when I don’t hear from my wife in hours. My heart beats when I speak with Ophelia. My heart smiles when I am with Rose. They all make me happy, and I fear losing any one of them. They make me feel comfortable when I am around them.

DBM: What is your expectation for your love life?

Sylvester: I used to have a list of wants in a woman. I don’t need a list to be happy with my life anymore. I chose these three wonderful women because they make me happy.

Image Credit: Nicola Barts

CUT MYSELF SOME SLACK

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog. 3 Comments

I used to think my wife was the most difficult person on earth to love. I thought this way because the first time I saw her, she was screaming at her staff. I knew a friend who worked for her and he had categorically told me she was a bitch; unkind, annoying and controlling. From the first day I met her, I could tell she wasn’t anybody’s favorite at the office. I was at her office because my friend had informed me about her relationship status; she was single. And Dave, I was quite a catch back in the day, ‘ladies’ man’ and all… Lol! So, the plan was for me to come in a professional capacity (I am an architect) to discuss a potential business partnership, go the extra mile to become friendly, win her heart, use and then, dump her.

My friend and his three other colleagues at the office had it all planned for me. They had an office project to execute and they were going to propose the name of my company to her for consideration for the job. My office got a call to meet with their team for further discussions. My wife once told me that, the first time we met at her office, she thought I was so handsome, and the way I looked and smiled at her, she thought she would lose herself in me. That was my wife’s observations about me. When our eyes first met, Dave, you wouldn’t believe this but my heart pounded; yes, Mr. Playboy’s heart felt like it would burst.

I wasn’t thinking about the plan with the boys; I wasn’t thinking about the potential business partnership, which made my business a lot of money; I wasn’t thinking about how rude she was to her staff; I was swept off my meet when I had the opportunity to sit across her table in her office. I was never a believer of ‘Love at first sight’ but I fell in love with her in her office. There was a connection of a sort when our eyes met. I can’t explain it but it was what it was.

We talked business and wrapped things off. I asked for her number and she gave it. When I got back to my office, I called my friend to lie about what had transpired. They believed we were still on course. Two dates later, I was convinced I had made the right decision. My friend found himself another job two years later, and I married my wife a year after my friend had left her company.

I think what made my wife lovable was because I CHOSE to LOVE her. It had absolutely nothing to do with who she was (according to other people’s experiences with her at the office – which obviously wasn’t great) but my capacity to want to know her for myself and like her according to my own understanding of her as a person. My wife is a great woman, very hard working and it didn’t feel right to plot with my friend to hurt her. I was willing to choose love instead of giving in to someone else’s hatred and anger.

We’ve been married for 12 years, and my unconditional love has come from a place of decision. It’s not been all rosy; she’s gotten under my skin and nerves many times. There was a time she wanted a divorce because she didn’t think she loved me anymore. I love her, and I was going to love her even if she didn’t love me back, and there was nothing she could do about it. She naaa found her love back for me. I chose to like her; I chose to forgive her on behalf of my friend and his colleagues; I chose to be nice to her; I chose to do right by her; I chose to respect her; I chose to be her friend. I was a total foolish package myself in the day, and I learned how to cut myself some slack. I had to nurture the good within in order to find the good in her, and trust me, there is so much good in my wife.

At this moment, there is no looking back, no second thoughts, and no regrets.

Image Credit: Polina Tankilevitch

IT WORKS FOR ME

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog. 5 Comments

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name you fancy)

Participant 11: Address me as Ruth.

DBM: Tell me anything about yourself

RUTH: I am fun to be around and I am fearless; I have never been afraid to stand out. I am strong, very bold and confident; I am a woman with high expectations, self-reliant and I speak my mind a lot.

DBM: How long have you been married?

RUTH: I have been married to my husband for eight to nine years. But I have been in a relationship with Joel for 12 years. Joel is the love of my life, though not my husband.

DBM: What was your perfect ‘type’ of a man or woman? Did your husband or wife fit into your exact specifications?

RUTH: My perfect type of man is Joel; he is very supportive and can almost handle me on his own. He is secure and allows me to be myself in all situations. Joel is smart, has good intentions towards people; an excellent communicator, very friendly, has a good sense of humor; he is a gentleman and is always motivating me to become the best of me. I find Joel to be ‘the one’ because his world does not revolve around me; he is ambitious and is always pursuing towards his own passion.

DBM: So, how did you two meet?

RUTH: I needed to take a professional picture for a project. A friend recommended her friend but when I called the photographer’s number, his brother answered the call. Joel told me his brother had traveled. I needed to take the picture asap, and so I pleaded with Joel. He told me he could manage to take a shot, though he wasn’t sure it was going to be anything better. I agreed and we met. For my husband, we met at the airport. We were both on the same flight to Ghana, from Heathrow Airport.

DBM: Do you consider your significant other as your best friend?

RUTH: I consider my husband a friend; Joel is my best friend.

DBM: When did you make him or her laugh the most? What happened?

RUTH: Joel is the type you would call an Alpha male but anytime he sets his eyes on me, he starts to laugh. He says when he thinks about me, a smile draws on his face. For my husband, he laughs his best when he is chasing me around the house. When he needs something from me, and I refuse to give it, he chases me and would be throwing pillows at me and laughing like crazy.

DBM: At what point were you certain he or she was the one for you?

RUTH: I did not marry Joel because he cannot have children. I wanted kids and so we talked about it, and he agreed I had one with someone else. I did not want to have kids outside marriage, and so I found the guy who could understand that my heart belonged to Joel. My husband was willing to share and respect my decision. That was when I knew he was the one to marry and parent with. I knew Joel was the one for me when he gave me permission to be with someone else.

DBM: Do you still find your husband or wife physically attractive?

RUTH: My husband is very sexy. Joel is an attractive hunk. Both men are not afraid to show their emotions; they are not afraid to cry, and they’re both real with me. But there is something about Joel that’s not ordinary. No matter how I try to explain it, I cannot seem to get him off my mind.

DBM: In a deeper conversation with your spouse, do you listen just to completely understand or you listen simply to formulate your response?

RUTH: I listen to understand all that Joel tries to bring to my attention. For my husband, I am not sure but we talk about issues as and when.

DBM: How is your significant other faring in the position as a husband or wife?

RUTH: My husband is doing his best in the office of a husband and father to our children. I will score him 7/10.

DBM: Which of your wedding vows means the world to you?

RUTH: My love for you should be able to withstand your flaws, all of your imperfections and shortcomings. I love you because I value the good in you.

DBM: What is the most fun you both have had in the relationship?

RUTH: Sex is the most fun I have when I am with Joel or my husband. We explore a lot by seeking to understand our sexual preferences. Both men know what I really like, and I know what excites them also. Joel loves to watch me self-explore in his presence till I achieve sexual pleasure, before touching me. He wants me to know my body and get comfortable with being naked. We laugh a lot whenever I discover a new gratifying spot on my body.

DBM: Is the love for your husband or wife growing any stronger by the day?

RUTH: I love my husband. The only problem is every now and then, I question whether or not he is serious about me, knowing very well they are two men in my life.

DBM: Do you trust your husband or wife?

RUTH: I do not trust my husband. I do not trust Joel. I do not trust myself.

DBM: How much time do you spend on your husband or wife?

RUTH: As much time as possible when it’s his turn. I have a timetable for both men and I give my 100% to each person when it’s their turn.

DBM: Emotionally, do you feel connected than before?

RUTH: Yes! Both guys are emotionally available to me and mature about it.

DBM: Do you feel secure in the marriage?

RUTH: Somewhat!

DBM: Where do you see you and your spouse in the next 10 years?

RUTH: Hopefully, married and peacefully scheduling between him and Joel.

DBM: What is your ideal sex life?

RUTH: The most important relationship in my life is the affair I have with myself. When I stand in front of the mirror and focus on my voluptuous hips, full breasts and shaved vagina; when I look in the side of the mirror and catch my husband or Joel feasting their hungry eyes on me, licking their lips while I slowly dance and masturbate to please myself… throwing my hands about, etc.

DBM: Rate your current sex life (out of 10)

RUTH: Hubby: 7.5/10. Joel: 10.5/10

DBM: What is your understanding of love?

RUTH: Love means knowing my worth and not settling for anything lesser than I deserve; love is taking charge of my own happiness and not blaming anyone for my own mistakes; love is knowing what you want and not compromising just for anything; love is being at peace with every decision you make and trusting that you made it for your own good. Love is sharing.

DBM: Are you feeling loved in your marriage?

RUTH: Yes!

DBM: Are you a good spouse?

RUTH: I am a good wife to my husband. I am a good girlfriend to Joel.

DBM: Have you cheated on your husband or wife with another man or woman?

RUTH: No! They both agreed to being the men in my life.

DBM: Say something to your spouse from your heart:

RUTH: Dear husband, THANK YOU very much! Joel, you support my endeavors and you call to check on me all the time. You tell me you love me every day; you show respect to me and my husband; you buy things for me, my husband and the children. THANK YOU very much!

Image Credit: Annushka Ahuja

BECAUSE HE LOVES ME

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog. 1 Comment

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name you fancy)

Participant 9: FaithLove_T

DBM: Tell me anything about yourself

FAITHLOVE_T: I’m cool, shy and well reserved woman who likes minding her own business. I like to see my loved ones happy always.

DBM: How long have you been married?

FAITHLOVE_T: 13 years.

DBM: What was your perfect ‘type’ of a man or woman? Did your husband or wife fit into your exact specifications?

FAITHLOVE_T: Well, I didn’t have such specifications then, because I married early (19) and actually didn’t even know what marriage was all about but looking at it, he is my Spec 😍.

DBM: So, how did you two meet?

FAITHLOVE_T: Eeeii! This will be another story for another day but one word I can use to describe our meeting is DIVINE

DBM: Do you consider your significant other as your best friend?

FAITHLOVE_T: Yes!

DBM: When did you make him or her laugh the most? What happened?

FAITHLOVE_T: Severally, but this one we were both watching a movie together and we were so into the movie, meanwhile, I couldn’t understand some of the words spoken in American slang due to the fast way the actors were speaking, and so I turned to him and asked, “what did he say my love”? And he burst out with laughter and laughed so hard, and will always explain for me to understand.

DBM: At what point were you certain he or she was the one for you?

FAITHLOVE_T: Four years into our marriage, I became very sick after our first child, and it got so worst that everyone including myself thought my husband would take me back to parents’ house; not because he didn’t love me but he was exhausted emotionally, financially and physically, and yet my situation wasn’t getting better. I would have actually understood him but my beloved husband chose to stand by me through thick and thin, and in good health and bad health, and this made me realize he’s the one for me, my Godsent 🙏

DBM: Do you still find your husband or wife physically attractive?

FAITHLOVE_T: Yes!

DBM: In a deeper conversation with your spouse, do you listen just to completely understand or you listen simply to formulate your response?

FAITHLOVE_T: Hmmm! This one, my husband always listens to me and sometimes understands me; he sometimes thinks I don’t listen to understand him but I’m trying my best.

DBM: How is your significant other faring in the position as a husband or wife?

FAITHLOVE_T: Still the King of my heart ❤️

DBM: Which of your wedding vows means the world to you?

FAITHLOVE_T: We are traditionally married though we are Christians (Catholics). The vow’s that means a lot to me is “For better for worse”. I keep telling my husband that even though he didn’t wed me in church, he has demonstrated by all standards – the true meaning of that vow in our marriage, and I adore him for that.

DBM: What is the most fun you both have had in the relationship?

FAITHLOVE_T: Outings, taking walks holding hands and our bedmatics time 😄😄😄

DBM: Is the love for your husband or wife growing any stronger by the day?

FAITHLOVE_T: Yes, we are growing stronger by God’s grace 🙏.  I still get butterflies in my stomach anytime I look at him 😍😍

DBM: Do you trust your husband or wife?

FAITHLOVE_T: Yes, I do but I have learned to guard my heart too because anything can happen. I don’t want to be shocked to the bone at any point.

DBM: How much time do you spend on your husband or wife?

FAITHLOVE_T: We are busy with work but I can say we get time for ourselves most of the time.

DBM: Emotionally, do you feel connected than before?

FAITHLOVE_T: Yes!

DBM: Do you feel secure in the marriage?

FAITHLOVE_T: Yes, with him I feel more secure; and no (just me worrying for no reason when there’s no cause for alarm; it’s just a woman thing). No because we have one child and in a deep conversation with him, he told me he loves to have plenty children, but if it’s God’s Will that He should have only one, he’s okay with God plans. This makes me not secure in case he wants his wishes granted by looking elsewhere.

Note that my husband hasn’t shown any signs of doing the above, rather, he consoles and encourages me to trust in God anytime I break down. In fact, he has a way of always carrying all my worries away with his words of wisdom, love and care towards me .

DBM: Where do you see you and your spouse in the next 10 years?

FAITHLOVE_T: For God to see us through in good health, still loving each other, to protect our child, keep and bless us with 1 or 2 🙏 (deep down we’re grateful for the already buddle of joy he blessed us with, 10 years ago), financial breakthrough and above all, Grace to age gracefully together, and seeing our grandkids 🙏

DBM: What is your ideal sex life?

FAITHLOVE_T: Spooning, Woman on top and doggy. Eeeii, is this my handwriting 😀😀😀

DBM: Rate your current sex life (out of 10)

FAITHLOVE_T: 9

DBM: What is your understanding of love?

FAITHLOVE_T: Love is selfless, kindness, making others happy, giving etc.

DBM: Are you feeling loved in your marriage?

FAITHLOVE_T: Yes very!

DBM: Are you a good spouse?

FAITHLOVE_T: I’m not perfect but I try to be the best spouse, but in my husband’s eyes, I am!

DBM: Have you cheated on your husband or wife with another man or woman?

FAITHLOVE_T: Never and not even in my dreams till the end.

DBM: Say something to your spouse from your heart.

FAITHLOVE_T: My IGB, I really love the way you’re loving me and taking very good care of the family. Never change! We love, cherish and appreciate all your efforts to see us happy and okay. Never give up on your dreams and keep going, because one day, God will smile on you and fulfill your dreams and aspirations 🙏; your suffering won’t be in vain… Amen!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ❤️

Image Credit: Anna Shvets

GOING WITH THE GROOVE, VICTORY STYLE

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog. 1 Comment

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name you fancy)

Participant 5:  Victory is fine.

DBM: Tell me anything about yourself

VICTORY: I am a committed Christian, beautiful and a happy-going person who believes in hard work, and is currently working two jobs.

DBM: How long have you been married?

VICTORY: I have been married for 15 years.

DBM: What was your perfect ‘type’ of a man or woman? Did your husband or wife fit into your exact specifications?

VICTORY: A man who would always be there for his family; had to be tall, slim and an extrovert. My husband does not fit into all of my specifications. Let’s say, 50%.

DBM: So, how did you two meet?

VICTORY: Dave, it will surprise you how we both ended up together; we met through my ex.

DBM: Do you consider your significant other as your best friend?

VICTORY: No please, he is not my best friend.

DBM: When did you make him or her laugh the most? What happened?

VICTORY: When I told him I met him holding a dairy and a pen which he carried everywhere until God blessed him.

DBM: At what point were you certain he or she was the one for you?

VICTORY: I was certain he was the one based on the way he treated my mum and sisters. He stood by me through my hard times.

DBM: Do you still find your husband or wife physically attractive?

VICTORY: Dave, after 15 years of marriage, I still find my husband very attractive.

DBM: In a deeper conversation with your spouse, do you listen just to completely understand or you listen simply to formulate your response?

VICTORY: He does not listen pa pa bia. Sometimes, I have to repeat myself before I get a response.

DBM: How is your significant other faring in the position as a husband or wife?

VICTORY: To him, he’s the best husband ever, but to me, his focus is on the kids.

DBM: Which of your wedding vows means the world to you?

VICTORY: In sickness and in health, till death do us part.

DBM: What is the most fun you both have had in the relationship?

VICTORY: We had our share of fun when we didn’t have kids.

DBM: Is the love for your husband or wife growing any stronger by the day?

VICTORY: Dave, saa telenovela odo no doesn’t work for me. Me nni biom but we are cool laidat!

DBM: Do you trust your husband or wife?

VICTORY: I still trust him, but nothing will surprise me because I have my shock absorbers in place 😂.

DBM: How much time do you spend on your husband or wife?

VICTORY: I have all the time for him, but unfortunately, I got an introvert who enjoys his own company for a husband (reason why I didn’t want one in the first place) 😂😂.

DBM: Emotionally, do you feel connected than before?

VICTORY: My husband is a typical African man; my emotional needs na my own o. Take money and sort yourself out specs

DBM: Do you feel secure in the marriage?

VICTORY: I am very secure. What can come can come! 😅

DBM: Where do you see you and your spouse in the next 10 years?

VICTORY: Till death walahi 🙏😂. We will both be preparing for our retirements with either a pension baby or grandchild.

DBM: What is your ideal sex life?

VICTORY: Please, table top or wheelbarrow. 😂😂

DBM: Rate your current sex life (out of 10)

VICTORY: Our current sex life is 9.

DBM: What is your understanding of love?

VICTORY: I doubt I have any. Love ankasa me ni bi.

DBM: Are you feeling loved in your marriage?

VICTORY: Yes please. I have one weakness that it would only take love to tolerate. So, for him to put up with it/me for all these 15 years, wa y3 bi; he’s really done well!

DBM: Are you a good spouse?

VICTORY: Yes, I am a good spouse, by my husband’s standard. He tells me all the time.

DBM: Have you cheated on your husband or wife with another man or woman?

VICTORY: S3 cheating ye football a, anka me y3 Merci (no sir)

DBM: Say something to your spouse from your heart.

VICTORY: Nana K, I am proud of you; I will choose you again if there’s a next life. You have been a good provider for me and the children, nanso, ye romantic kakraa ai? You take life too seriously. 😘

Image Credit: Raquel Sílva

CHEERS TO THE MONEY

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

Dear Dave,

The men shouting on your page, do they cough de l’argent or they calculate the kudi? It’s just a simple question guys, do you COUGH out CASH or you calculate the money when dealing with us? There are levels oo. Know your damn level before making unnecessary demands. Are you Dr. Kwame Osei Despite? Because if I were Mrs. Despite today, I wouldn’t mind getting Kwame Despite’s cock ring stuck in my throat while giving a blow job. I wouldn’t mind choking on my knees. If I am not in the mood and tired, and I throw up on his penis because his dick was deep throating, because of who he is an what he can do for me ntsi, I will suck all of the vomit back in my mouth and blow his mind till he cums in my mouth and through my nose till my nostrils feel burned. Men who cough cash have every right to cum into the eyes of their wives. You know why? Because 40k bi besu wo me account mu as thank you honey.

Is your bank account name Fadda Dickson Narh? Because if I were to be his wife, I would randomly be visiting him at work to accidentally try and brush my butts against his shorts. With these firm buttocks of mine, he’s definitely going to have a boner while I brush them off. And I will smile while doing it in front of his employees. Mr. Bondze, with Fadda Dickson, we will have sex in the parking garage at his place of work. It’s the risk of getting caught that is going to make it amazing for me. He can even join me at the ladies’ washroom in church, pull down my skirt and literally start fucking me while standing up in the bathroom. It’s still gonna be a hot quickie. I will boldly pull myself back together and go listen to the sermon. He’s Fadda Dick y’all!

If I were the third wife of Daniel McKorley, I will McDan my cunt. Me tw3 besu Dan. I will slide down myself and kiss his dick so passionately, while he takes his shower and slowly start taking his whole dick in my mouth. I will take his entire dick inside my mouth and keep it in till I am almost gagged on it. And then I will furiously start to rub his balls and blow it back and forth. Dave, this narration is happening after he’s gone third rounds on me already oo, and he is supposedly tired. Sika wo fie a, bonus sex wo mu. I am going to make him so wild, he will hold my hair and force me to go deeper. Men with money breed a certain energy in women. We don’t get tired when tired. He will see my eyes pop out in excitement and after blowing him like crazy, I will get up and push him onto the bed. I will walk over him and sit on his face, and he will lick my pussy till he feels like his tongue would gain muscles. This is what gets some of us women so hot that we can start moaning loudly. And boy, we have some of the dirtiest words in our mouths that can make you feel like fucking a hot damn slut.

You still think we are boring? Have the right bank account and place your order. Make dem commot for der with their too known. By now, go and see my husband, he is saying in his head, where is my wife, she should come and read and learn. Learn from what exactly? When was the last time you gave me proper orgasm? Do you even know how I manage to arrive at an orgasm with you? Go and research. The data will shock you.

Image Credit: Monstera

MY FAVORITE PERSON

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

I have never believed in LOVE IN ITS ENTIRETY; maybe, apart from my dad’s love (which was short lived), I don’t trust any other, not even that of my mother. Her world of marriage was not something I looked forward to, neither have I ever thought I would get married someday. It seems like a ‘burden’ or a ‘risk’. I don’t take risks deliberately, if I can avoid, why go into it? My husband (I call him roommate), first knew he will marry me when he was about 19 years old in high school. He had not met me but saw my name on a school admission board for freshmen (apparently, he fell in love with my name). He was in his final year and had promised himself to marry the lady behind that name. He told his other cousin and a friend in school then. Lo and behold, I finally arrived in school only for him to discover, ‘I was out of his league’, as some of his mates were interested in me.

The first time I met him, it seemed like a déjà vu. I believed I had known him but nope, never do I recall meeting him anywhere, except that – he had the looks of my father. We didn’t communicate much as his exist on campus was near but he always spoke to me, writing little poems in a notebook and dropping it off in my class. (We were in the same department). We exchanged poems in that notebook but never sat together to have a chat till he left campus.

I returned home one vacation, visiting my cousin only to discover we were in the same neighborhood and lived close to my cousin’s house. Before visiting him for the first time at home, he had already told his family he had a girlfriend. (I had no idea I was his girlfriend) yet, that was how the family saw me. No one dared to ask. They passed funny jokes whenever I visited. (I left the area and returned years later). He still held on to me as ‘his girlfriend’ all that time. I was living my life.

Long story short, one night while escorting me home he said when I get a job, I will use my first few months’ salary to marry you. I laughed so hard because I knew he seemed too good a guy for me, (WE WERE NOT OFFICIALLY DATING. I still saw him as a ‘good friend’. I couldn’t see myself marrying him. He was too quiet for my liking. Truly to his words, he went to my sister one day and told her he wants to marry me; went ahead to my elder brother to inform him about his intentions to marry me. Note: no member of my family knew I was dating; neither was aware I had a serious boyfriend, except my big sister, who knows the men (general) in my life. The first time my family met him officially was the day of the ‘knocking’.

He had informed his family but I was the last person to know I was about to get married. When his father and Auntie called me to inform me, I was upset, and confronted him about it. He was confident I am the only woman he wants to be with. I gave them my own date to be married, as their notice was about a month ahead to the proposed date. I requested for a few more months. We got married within four months after his intention was made known. Our 14 years together has never seen any misunderstanding; he hates confrontation and he is a man of very few words. He is the worst person to pick a quarrel with because he won’t utter a word. A friend once told me you both are like oil and water. I am an extrovert and he is like a ‘TOTAL LOCKDOWN’; that’s if that can describe an extreme introvert. He lives in the shadows. He joins me on my night life, and I am like his ‘bad influence’. I taught him how to drink alcohol, socialize, club; how to express his anger, and also, talking to women without fear of offending them. Not all women are rude when approached. It depends on how you come at them.

Ask me about an Angel and I will point to him; he says he wanted a wife but got a social media manager too, (you send him WhatsApp messages and he takes months to reply. I have to check his messages for him. I don’t know about happily ever, but I am a happily spoiled wife. Marriage to him is like having a roommate who does all the work, while you take compliments. I live a simple life with him. I married him with a leap of faith in him. He is a man that met all my checklist: tribe, same taste in music, loves domestic chores; he is faithful, loves movies; he has a lovely skin color; very empathetic, and started life with me from the ground up. We had the exact country themed wedding I dreamed of. We are building a future together, but whatever happens in the future I am proud and glad I met a man who defines marriage as a commandment of commitment. He once said to me you are the woman I am having my every first with.

Least I forget, our poetic note book was our marriage wows. We’ve been married for 10 years now. Our wedding song was “When God Made You”. He is a man with no flaws, dignity, and the humblest to ever walk this earth. Whenever there is chaos, he is that ‘silver lining’. Mr. EC, may God bless you a million times. If you miss heaven, I will blame God; if I depart this earth some day before you, I want you to move on with your life, and enjoy it to the fullest. I promise to learn how to drive so you can stay home and enjoy your lockdown in peace. Allow me to also do the domestic chores; my mum says you make me lazy. Judith says you are a diplomatic person so I should allow you to do your things while I do my controversial things. Gizz said if you become a pastor someday, we will be poor because you can’t take offertory, and would probably give out all our savings.

Image Credit: Andres Ayrton

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