GOOD FOR ME IS THELMA
Wifey and I have been married for 27 years. We were not boyfriend-girlfriend. She didn’t believe in that. She wanted a friend not boyfriend. She always says, friendship has less expectations. She wasn’t asking me for money or gifts when we were friends. I gave her money and gifts because of the way she carried herself. She did not give me sex in the friendship zone. I had my first sex with her on our wedding night. I knew she had deeper feelings for me but I was so much in love with her, I couldn’t remain her friend. I had to do the honorable thing. I married her. She was 36. I was 42.
David, I have been reading from your page and some of the stories people share makes me question whether or not they were ready before settling in marriage. From my experience, I don’t think girls should marry in their 20’s. Girls need to live their fullest lives as single women till their early or mid 30’s. This is my reason: Most guys start to discover who they are and who they want to spend their lives with in their mid to late 30’s. It’s at those ages that they feel growth within themselves. It’s at that age that they appreciate sacrifice and commitment. Don’t get me wrong, I know men in their 40’s and 50’s acting stupid but Dave, most guys understand what it means to be in a serious relationship from 36 up. I love sex like a dog on heat but in my 27 years marriage, the number of times I have been a couple with my wife outnumbers our sexual escapes times a million. Sex is great in marriage, but sex is not everything. That’s why when I read from the guys and girls cheating because of sex, I am convinced they weren’t ready to be married.
It’s okay to be single and content till you’re ready to be responsible. I married Thelma because I wanted to be her provider. My wife is a lawyer. She did not need my money then. She doesn’t need my money now. But as her husband, I am her provider. When we used to rent, I never asked her to contribute to rent or bills. Now we live the good life. When I lost my job, she stepped in for three years to be my provider. I knew where my wife was going in life and I believed she was worthy of a man who believed in her dreams. Later, I found out that I am deserving of a woman who is worthy of where I am going, and that was my Thelma.
Young people should not be rushing into marriage. Be patient. Wait. Have time for yourself. Grow, earn on your own merit, hard work and save. Have fun; make friends and don’t think so much about having a boyfriend or girlfriend. When you’re ready to marry, marry that friend who is good for you.
Image Credit: Alex Green
