Autumn Leaf
I have been following your Facebook page since 2021, and I must confess, you’re doing a great job with the way you choose to use your platform. I am sharing my wife’s story with you because I believe it can help someone reading it. My wife used to be married; I am her second marriage. She’s my first marriage experience and it’s been a fun 13 years thus far. When we met for the first time, I did not understand why a nice woman like her had walked out of her marriage. She has the purest of intentions and projects herself as a good human being. I realized in the course of our friendship that she was becoming so caught up in the relationship with me, she was trying so hard to evade upsetting me. That wasn’t sinking in with me well because it started to seem like she was abandoning the person she really wanted to be around me, herself.
When I first asked her about her ex-husband, she described him as the ‘master of manipulation’ whose words to punish her damaged her self-esteem, while in the presence of their children, family and friends, appeared to care deeply about her. He mocked the way she dressed, walked, ate, slept, talked, managed situations at home, insulted her intelligence, etc. He yelled at her without much goading, threatened to intimidate her, blamed her for anything that didn’t go right with their plans, upset her intentionally to avoid taking responsibility, and the list goes on.
Dave, this is a woman who has shown me care and compassion for 13 years. She is very sensitive to my needs, and would do everything possible to provide a solution to anything bothering my mind. She knows when I am frustrated, and will try whatever works to put a smile on my face. She appreciates me for the little things, makes times for me; encourages me with more than love in my good and bad times. My wife is respectful and would put our family first. She makes me feel like I am her one and only lover; she doesn’t infringe on my personal space; I don’t have to guess when it comes to her because she lays bare her opinions. She’s the most creative when it comes to sex; she knows how to satisfy me in bed. She reads a lot on sex and introduces me to very interesting, mind-blowing things. I have attained my best potential since I married her.
Back to her past: she traveled with her two children to visit her parents, and was called by a neighbor three days later; she had seen her ex-husband bring another woman to their house. She was supposed to be spending eight days at her parents’ house but she returned to Accra that third day, unannounced. She opened the door, and to her surprise, there was a naked woman in their bed. Her ex-husband wasn’t in bed with her, though his car was parked in front of the house. My wife says, something sharp hit the back of her head, and the next thing she heard, she was mistakenly being assumed to be dead at the hospital. She had been admitted for six days, and they did not know she had come out of consciousness.
Can love really be that unfair? Because though I know my love for her today is softening her pain overtime, it never seems to go away; it’s stuck with her for the rest of our lives together. She’s reminded every now and then – who the father of her first two children is, and it crushes her soul because he’s out there living a free life, and treating other women better than all the crap he put her through.
Image Credit: Ron Lach
