GO GET ‘em’, MOMMA
Dave,
I do not regret having children. I do not regret being my husband’s wife. I am only sad that I allowed pregnancy and motherhood to become the alter at which I had to sacrifice my personal goals and dreams. We were both pursuing further studies when we got pregnant. I wanted an abortion but he insisted we had the baby. We agreed I would continue with my studies after our child turned one. Meanwhile, he continued with his life uninterrupted. When our daughter turned one, he asked me to marry him, which I did. I got pregnant again, and we talked about it. I carried the pregnancy to term, had our son and then decided to go back to school. He had returned to Ghana by this time.
My husband has a good job; the children love him. He adores his children. Now, it’s my turn to chase after my dreams and my husband is claiming the kids are too young to be left alone. He made a promise to finance my education whenever I decide to continue; I made the decision but he wasn’t convinced it was the right time for me. For four years, I have devoted my all to being the best parent. My identity was consumed by motherhood till an ex-boyfriend offered to sponsor my master’s degree. My husband wasn’t ready to, so when my ex (who knows me very well) suggested I applied, and that, he was ready to fund it, I did.
Mind you, my ex-boyfriend is married with kids. He stays in New York and I am in New York, schooling. Aside our friendship, and him being my sponsor, there is nothing else going on between us. My husband and his family suddenly do not believe two adults of the opposite sex can be good friends. They want me to return to Ghana and resume my role as a wife and mother. They are not considering the fact that I will be abandoning myself and aspirations. My husband also reached out to my ex to ask him to stop paying my fees. He didn’t ask him to stop so he can take responsibility. He’s just asking him to stop. My friend informed me, and I told him not to mind my husband. My husband is not answering my calls or responding to my messages. Why should marriage put my passions on hold? Dave, I love my husband; I miss my children, but I am so much more than just being a ‘perfect’ wife and mother.
Image Credits: RF._.studio
Communication, Love, Mother, Personal aspirations, Wife, Work
Dikah regina Afiyo
It sad oh,I pray you continue your studies n ignore him for,when you complete, return home n he does not want you,my dear move on life goes on .Love is sharing and supporting.
Nafisah
Provided i am not cheating on my husband in any way… I will finish my school before going back to Ghana. If he doesnt take me back then i will go back for my Phd and get a great job and a great man afterwards.
She has given more than enough. And the husband did not stick to his word.
But that’s marriage for you.. You are no longer just you anymore.
The final and most important decision is all yours dear. What will you choose? Self or family?
All the best wai.
Marjorie
First and foremost, you were wrong for letting your husband know your ex was sponsoring your education.
Also,you have gone a long way to stop now.You must complete this and better yourself. You are so bold I must say.
Get some elders to apologise on your behalf and give him some tlc(tender ,loving and care)
He must accept your decision hun.
AJ
I understand you completely. For far too long women have been the ones to sacrifice our aspirations, dreams, what we really desire to do…. It is unfortunate.
Most times our partners forget we also have dreams we want to accomplish. Being a mother and a wife are amazing but there’s more we want to do. Won’t we be too old and tired by the time the children are all grown up? Mothering and being a wife don’t end but dreams can die and we don’t want our dreams to die. All we are asking for is the right support as we journey on. We don’t want to be unsatisfied and bitter when we realise we could have accomplished a lot more but allowed ‘being a wife and a mother’ to rob us off.
My dear writer, I wish you the best and the courage to go through this phase. I wish I had your courage to persue my dreams… Do this for all of Us. One day I pray I find the courage too..
All we need is support and Partners who are understanding and ready to allow us ‘get em’.