Mine To Keep

Xich: Hello David. I need your opinion. My very good friend is a lady I wouldn’t know what to do without. She’s that friend in my life who would make me laugh a little louder. She makes me smile a little bigger, and allows me to be myself so I can live life just a little better. We’ve been friends for 29 years. We hang out a lot. It doesn’t matter the problems I found myself in, she was always there for me. I really love her for that. However, she tends to choose unavailable men as boyfriends and I am always the first person to realize that those relationships wouldn’t last. I’m scared of risking our friendship but the love I have for her is the most effortless, natural love there is to give. She’s my personal person and thoughts of letting her know this scares me. That is the hardest part of our friendship, hiding my true feelings from her.

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): How old are you?

Xich: 38

DBM: How old is your friend?

Xich: 38

DBM: Okay!

Xich: She’s dating my cousin, a really great guy. And I love that for her because he’s the one guy I can vouch would not take her for granted. But I am secretly jealous and angry that he might ask her to marry him. There is resentment in my heart.

DBM: Did she ever promise you anything more than to be your friend?

Xich: No. But I was hoping she might come around and realize I am the right guy for her.

DBM: Have you ever tried to pursue her?

Xich: Yes and no.

DBM: What does ‘yes’ and ‘no’ mean?

Xich: Not directly. I don’t know how to go about that conversation. I’ve tried.

DBM: What’s her name?

Xich: Serwaa

DBM: How long has she been dating your cousin?

Xich: 8 months

DBM: That’s a full-blown relationship, no?

Xich: Yes. But I still feel I am the right man for her

DBM: Is she happy with your cousin?

Xich: Yes, they’re very happy together but something tells me she cares about me too. I need to find out if it’s all in my head.

DBM: What do you want from me?

Xich: I don’t know how to go about it.

DBM: Text her this message: “Serwaa, hello! What you’re about to read shouldn’t be a mutual feeling. I just want to share something I’ve always wanted to tell you but didn’t know how. I have so much love and care for you. I find you to be extremely attractive, and would have seriously pursued a relationship with you if you weren’t seeing my cousin. I respect what you two have and I know he is right for you. Ideally, I’m supposed to say I support your relationship with him completely and wish you all the best but that wouldn’t the whole truth. I believe I am the right guy for you but again, I’m not going to ask for anything at the moment because you’re not a single lady. I love being your best friend, and I just wanted to also let you know how I really feel about you.”

Xich: Dave, this is deep. I felt it

DBM: That is how you indirectly, invite someone you’re in love with to open up about their own underlying feelings for you – without putting any pressure on them. There is nothing wrong with planting a seed that may or not very well grow into something meaningful later on.

Xich: Thank you. I will update up.

Image Credit: Artempodrez