Image Capturing My Imagination

Mylo: My father wasn’t that upright at responding with words of truth when my mother was having a tough time trusting his actions. He couldn’t discern her feelings to treat her with compassion. I don’t even think he loved my mother that deeply, thus his inability to be consistent with her. Those were a few of my observations looking back into my childhood. I’m an adult now and I am married with no children. And as a husband, I am very thankful and fortunate to have a woman like my wife in my life.

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): How long have you been married?

Mylo: Been married for 29 years

DBM: That’s wonderful. Anyways, hello! How are you doing?

Mylo: I’m fine David. How are you?

DBM: I’m doing alright, thanks. How did you meet your wife?

Mylo: We were friends in primary school and had kept in touch somehow.

DBM: When did you know you were developing deeper feelings for her?

Mylo: When I was in Mfantsipim School. I was finding ways to reach out to her because I realized how devoted I was exclusively to her and the friendship we shared. She was the only image of a woman capturing my wild imaginations.

DBM: Is she still the only image capturing your imaginations?

Mylo: I have not been with any other woman since the day I knew I had fallen in love with her. I’m drawn to her like bees to honey.

DBM: But you’ve been tempted or attracted to others every now and then, no?

Mylo: David, this may come as a shock but I’ve always been committed to my wife.

DBM: Why do you think other men find it so easy to be unfaithful?

Mylo: A man decides what he wants to do. A woman doesn’t have to do anything wrong to make a man cheat. He decides not to be honest. He decides when it’s convenient to lie. He decides who to play the field with. He decides when he thinks he’s ready to marry or not. All these decisions are made by the man without the help from a woman.

DBM: So, life and marriage in general is perfect for you then?

Mylo: My marriage isn’t perfect. We have our ups and downs. She gets mad at me every now and then but she loves me. I love my wife. Even in times she’s said or done something to get on my nerves, I remind myself of how much she loves me, and that she’s not intentionally trying to hurt me. I tell myself we will get through it. And we always do.

DBM: What would you tell the single, young woman reading this conversation and thinking of getting married someday?

Mylo: Do not assume that because you want to be married at a certain age means all the men you are dating and attracted to are ready for marriage. A lot of men do not want to outgrow their single phase. Conditioning such a man to marry you only gets you a husband at home. He’s partially single when he’s out of the house.

DBM: I know a number of married men who have told me they’re cheating on their wives because they’re not getting enough sex at home. What’s your take on that?

Mylo: Sex should not threaten love. As men, we need to know how to ask our wives for intimacy, not just sex. If I’m to cheat on my wife, it’s because I choose to be selfish. I’ll either choose to be dishonest or choose not to. My inability to fully commit to my marriage and wife isn’t the doing of anyone but myself.

DBM: You have no children, you said?

Mylo: No children and it’s okay. We all can’t have it all. The life I’ve built with my wife and the happiness we’ve created in our marriage feels like all the family we’ve ever wanted. My wife is full of love and is excited about me. I’m challenged everyday to remember why I married her and the home we look forward to in our future together, even if children are not a part of it. We are living a very contented, satisfying life.

DBM: What do you say to couples out there walking in these same shoes without children?

Mylo: You cannot pull the child-card as your excuse to betray the trust your spouse has in you. Doing that simply means your reasons for marrying wasn’t love. Know the bigger vision and purpose for your marriage. The love and connection beyond what you thought you could have or want.

Image Credit: Jbsp Kox’s