Paying Him Forward

Lorraine: Hello David. I want to talk about something

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Hey! How are you doing?

Lorraine: As wonderful as ever.

DBM: Good to know. What’s on your mind?

Lorraine: My daughter wants to hook me up with a man who initially was interested in, and pursuing her.

DBM: How old is your daughter?

Lorraine: 26

DBM: How old are you?

Lorraine: 48. I had my daughter when I was very young, in my early twenties.

DBM: And how old is this guy we’re talking about?

Lorraine: 52

DBM: I see. And to what extent did your daughter go with this man during his pursuit of her?

Lorraine: She said they only kissed

DBM: How many times?

Lorraine: Once.

DBM: How long has he known your daughter?

Lorraine: They’ve been friends for three years

DBM: She defined their relationship as ‘friendship’?

Lorraine: Friends

DBM: With no type of benefits?

Lorraine: Not that I know of. I’m just going by my daughter’s word

DBM: And you trust your daughter?

Lorraine: 100%. She wouldn’t lie to me

DBM: Have you met this man?

Lorraine: Not yet

DBM: But you’ve spoken to him before?

Lorraine: Once on the phone

DBM: What did you talk about?

Lorraine: Nothing. She wanted me to say hello to her friend and I did.

DBM: Why is she passing him on to you?

Lorraine: She’s met someone younger and closer to her age that she really likes.

DBM: And the 52-year-old knows this?

Lorraine: Yes. I’ve always taught my daughter that anytime she’s no longer interested in dating a guy, she had to break up with him quickly rather than dragging the relationship on for months or years.

DBM: Is he single? As in, no one else in the world somewhere thinks they’re in an intimate or exclusive relationship with him?

Lorraine: Yes, my daughter confirmed that

DBM: Are you single?

Lorraine: I am single.

DBM: Are you interested in this man?

Lorraine: I want to get to know him. He seems like a great person.

DBM: Is he interested in knowing you?

Lorraine: Yes, I got a text message from him, asking me out on a date.

DBM: Has he any kids?

Lorraine: He has two grown boys.

DBM: I don’t see any wrong in this exploration, unless I’m missing something

Lorraine: I think I’m a bit skeptical because he has been interested in my daughter for three years

DBM: He likes them young

Lorraine: That’s my biggest fear, Dave.

DBM: You’re a young woman yourself. You don’t look 48

Lorraine: Thank you but I’m still concerned.

DBM: About?

Lorraine: His preference in age

DBM: Has he specifically told you or your daughter his desired preference?

Lorraine: No

DBM: So, ask him on the date

Lorraine: Ask him what?

DBM: If he finds you attractive. As sensitive a subject as it is, people’s preferences and motivations do vary, whether you like it or not. We all can’t go for the same things.

Lorraine: What if he doesn’t?

DBM: Then he doesn’t! Life goes on. There are a few things that would only come with age

Lorraine: Like?

DBM: Like hearing the heart of your mind in thoughts even before you utter a word. If you can command a man’s attention with your presence, you will have his attention on something else other than what he usually would go for. You have to look it, because sometimes it’s the look (for most men). For others, it’s the vibe they sense the moment you walk into the room.

Lorraine: It wouldn’t make him think I’m desperate if I ask the attraction question?

DBM: I mean, a degree of tact and caution is needed but read his countenance regardless, before deciding to ask. But it’s an important question you’d have to ask before returning home from the date.

Lorraine: Dave

DBM: Yeah!

Lorraine: You really think I’m beautiful?

DBM: You’re a beautiful lady. Why, you don’t think you are?

Lorraine: Women my age have no chance competing with these young girls. The beauty standards of today are equated to looking and staying young.

DBM: You don’t have to hide the fact that you’re ageing gracefully. Some men do appreciate experience and maturity in a woman.

Lorraine: Dave, do you trust your gender?

DBM: No! A lot of the men out there are not being real. They’re busy playing roles and putting on spectacular shows to craft an image of perfection for you to fall for. Be in tune with your intuition at all times. That’s the only wake-up call to lead you right. Do not easily fall for their well-rehearsed lines that they feel would get them your needed applause. A lot of these guys looking all nice and important echo nothing short of hollowness. Do not be a victim to how they strategically would edit and revise their way into your heart. GOD made you smart, not desperate. Tap into your smart.

Lorraine: I like the way you talk to me, David.

DBM: Good to know. Keep me updated.

Lorraine: Ok. Bye

Image Credit: August-de-Richelieu