And Forgive Us Our Trespasses
Carle: Hi Dave. Can I use your platform to apologize to my ex-wife?
David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): What did you do to your wife?
Carle: I don’t want to share our personal issues with you. I just want a platform to apologize
DBM: Why do you want to use my platform? That’s my question
Carle: She comments on your page.
DBM: Okay!
Carle: Esi, I am so sorry. I couldn’t help it. I tried to stop. I know what I said many times to you but the truth is, you have always been there for me. You have always been willing to meet my needs. I betrayed your trust and let you down. For that, I am sorry. I am seeking the help I need. I thought what I was doing would make our marriage better. I have realized that you make me better. I want to be better. I want to be better for you. I really love you
DBM: You have to be better for yourself, not Esi.
Carle: Dave
DBM: What?
Carle: Please. Don’t start
DBM: No, seriously, have you sat with the fact that you intentionally, chose to hurt the woman who had trust in you?
Carle: How is that your concern?
DBM: Let me guess, you slipped a mistress in the equation, no? If you have something to hide, then you have something to protect.
Carle: I made a mistake and the guilt is keeping me up at night. I am ashamed of my actions and I have regrets because I destroyed our family. I just want to repair what has been broken.
DBM: A woman’s trust in you is very fragile. One careless misstep can fracture the relationship beyond repair if not appropriately addressed.
Carle: That is why I need a second chance.
DBM: Is this really your second chance? Or she had given you chance upon chance to do right by her and the marriage?
Carle: I made a mistake
DBM: How do you intend fixing a problem you’re still refusing to look at?
Carle: What do you mean?
DBM: You’re referring to your action as a ‘mistake’. How can you scar your wife’s heart with another person and call it a mistake?
Carle: I don’t need to explain myself to you
DBM: You addressed her as your ‘ex-wife’. Are you divorced?
Carle: Yes
DBM: For how long now?
Carle: 2 years
DBM: What were you doing these past two years?
Carle: Nothing
DBM: Were you dating any of the girls you made mistakes with?
Carle: Yes
DBM: Are you still together?
Carle: No
DBM: Why are you not together?
Carle: She left me
DBM: Why?
Carle: Because I wanted to be with my wife.
DBM: It’s up to your ex-wife to forgive you.
Carle: I’m hoping she would accept my apology.
DBM: She can decide not to accept this apology, and you’d have to respect that decision too.
Carle: I want to bring my family back together.
DBM: Fixing what you took for granted doesn’t start with her forgiveness. It begins with you, changing for real, and for the better.
Carle: I have changed
DBM: Good for you, but that wouldn’t necessarily push her toward the kind of decision you’re hoping for.
Carle: I just want her to read this message
DBM: And assuming she doesn’t want to have anything to do with you again after reading the message, you can use this experience as a learning opportunity and simply apply whatever it has taught you to future relationships. Every effort we put into a relationship matters to the integrity of its overall state.
Image Credit: Mikhail Nilov
