IT WORKS FOR ME

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name you fancy)

Participant 11: Address me as Ruth.

DBM: Tell me anything about yourself

RUTH: I am fun to be around and I am fearless; I have never been afraid to stand out. I am strong, very bold and confident; I am a woman with high expectations, self-reliant and I speak my mind a lot.

DBM: How long have you been married?

RUTH: I have been married to my husband for eight to nine years. But I have been in a relationship with Joel for 12 years. Joel is the love of my life, though not my husband.

DBM: What was your perfect ‘type’ of a man or woman? Did your husband or wife fit into your exact specifications?

RUTH: My perfect type of man is Joel; he is very supportive and can almost handle me on his own. He is secure and allows me to be myself in all situations. Joel is smart, has good intentions towards people; an excellent communicator, very friendly, has a good sense of humor; he is a gentleman and is always motivating me to become the best of me. I find Joel to be ‘the one’ because his world does not revolve around me; he is ambitious and is always pursuing towards his own passion.

DBM: So, how did you two meet?

RUTH: I needed to take a professional picture for a project. A friend recommended her friend but when I called the photographer’s number, his brother answered the call. Joel told me his brother had traveled. I needed to take the picture asap, and so I pleaded with Joel. He told me he could manage to take a shot, though he wasn’t sure it was going to be anything better. I agreed and we met. For my husband, we met at the airport. We were both on the same flight to Ghana, from Heathrow Airport.

DBM: Do you consider your significant other as your best friend?

RUTH: I consider my husband a friend; Joel is my best friend.

DBM: When did you make him or her laugh the most? What happened?

RUTH: Joel is the type you would call an Alpha male but anytime he sets his eyes on me, he starts to laugh. He says when he thinks about me, a smile draws on his face. For my husband, he laughs his best when he is chasing me around the house. When he needs something from me, and I refuse to give it, he chases me and would be throwing pillows at me and laughing like crazy.

DBM: At what point were you certain he or she was the one for you?

RUTH: I did not marry Joel because he cannot have children. I wanted kids and so we talked about it, and he agreed I had one with someone else. I did not want to have kids outside marriage, and so I found the guy who could understand that my heart belonged to Joel. My husband was willing to share and respect my decision. That was when I knew he was the one to marry and parent with. I knew Joel was the one for me when he gave me permission to be with someone else.

DBM: Do you still find your husband or wife physically attractive?

RUTH: My husband is very sexy. Joel is an attractive hunk. Both men are not afraid to show their emotions; they are not afraid to cry, and they’re both real with me. But there is something about Joel that’s not ordinary. No matter how I try to explain it, I cannot seem to get him off my mind.

DBM: In a deeper conversation with your spouse, do you listen just to completely understand or you listen simply to formulate your response?

RUTH: I listen to understand all that Joel tries to bring to my attention. For my husband, I am not sure but we talk about issues as and when.

DBM: How is your significant other faring in the position as a husband or wife?

RUTH: My husband is doing his best in the office of a husband and father to our children. I will score him 7/10.

DBM: Which of your wedding vows means the world to you?

RUTH: My love for you should be able to withstand your flaws, all of your imperfections and shortcomings. I love you because I value the good in you.

DBM: What is the most fun you both have had in the relationship?

RUTH: Sex is the most fun I have when I am with Joel or my husband. We explore a lot by seeking to understand our sexual preferences. Both men know what I really like, and I know what excites them also. Joel loves to watch me self-explore in his presence till I achieve sexual pleasure, before touching me. He wants me to know my body and get comfortable with being naked. We laugh a lot whenever I discover a new gratifying spot on my body.

DBM: Is the love for your husband or wife growing any stronger by the day?

RUTH: I love my husband. The only problem is every now and then, I question whether or not he is serious about me, knowing very well they are two men in my life.

DBM: Do you trust your husband or wife?

RUTH: I do not trust my husband. I do not trust Joel. I do not trust myself.

DBM: How much time do you spend on your husband or wife?

RUTH: As much time as possible when it’s his turn. I have a timetable for both men and I give my 100% to each person when it’s their turn.

DBM: Emotionally, do you feel connected than before?

RUTH: Yes! Both guys are emotionally available to me and mature about it.

DBM: Do you feel secure in the marriage?

RUTH: Somewhat!

DBM: Where do you see you and your spouse in the next 10 years?

RUTH: Hopefully, married and peacefully scheduling between him and Joel.

DBM: What is your ideal sex life?

RUTH: The most important relationship in my life is the affair I have with myself. When I stand in front of the mirror and focus on my voluptuous hips, full breasts and shaved vagina; when I look in the side of the mirror and catch my husband or Joel feasting their hungry eyes on me, licking their lips while I slowly dance and masturbate to please myself… throwing my hands about, etc.

DBM: Rate your current sex life (out of 10)

RUTH: Hubby: 7.5/10. Joel: 10.5/10

DBM: What is your understanding of love?

RUTH: Love means knowing my worth and not settling for anything lesser than I deserve; love is taking charge of my own happiness and not blaming anyone for my own mistakes; love is knowing what you want and not compromising just for anything; love is being at peace with every decision you make and trusting that you made it for your own good. Love is sharing.

DBM: Are you feeling loved in your marriage?

RUTH: Yes!

DBM: Are you a good spouse?

RUTH: I am a good wife to my husband. I am a good girlfriend to Joel.

DBM: Have you cheated on your husband or wife with another man or woman?

RUTH: No! They both agreed to being the men in my life.

DBM: Say something to your spouse from your heart:

RUTH: Dear husband, THANK YOU very much! Joel, you support my endeavors and you call to check on me all the time. You tell me you love me every day; you show respect to me and my husband; you buy things for me, my husband and the children. THANK YOU very much!

Image Credit: Annushka Ahuja