Tag: Affairs

And Forgive Us Our Trespasses

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

Carle: Hi Dave. Can I use your platform to apologize to my ex-wife?

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): What did you do to your wife?

Carle: I don’t want to share our personal issues with you. I just want a platform to apologize

DBM: Why do you want to use my platform? That’s my question

Carle: She comments on your page.

DBM: Okay!

Carle: Esi, I am so sorry. I couldn’t help it. I tried to stop. I know what I said many times to you but the truth is, you have always been there for me. You have always been willing to meet my needs. I betrayed your trust and let you down. For that, I am sorry. I am seeking the help I need. I thought what I was doing would make our marriage better. I have realized that you make me better. I want to be better. I want to be better for you. I really love you

DBM: You have to be better for yourself, not Esi.

Carle: Dave

DBM: What?

Carle: Please. Don’t start

DBM: No, seriously, have you sat with the fact that you intentionally, chose to hurt the woman who had trust in you?

Carle: How is that your concern?

DBM: Let me guess, you slipped a mistress in the equation, no? If you have something to hide, then you have something to protect.

Carle: I made a mistake and the guilt is keeping me up at night. I am ashamed of my actions and I have regrets because I destroyed our family. I just want to repair what has been broken.

DBM: A woman’s trust in you is very fragile. One careless misstep can fracture the relationship beyond repair if not appropriately addressed.

Carle: That is why I need a second chance.

DBM: Is this really your second chance? Or she had given you chance upon chance to do right by her and the marriage?

Carle: I made a mistake

DBM: How do you intend fixing a problem you’re still refusing to look at?

Carle: What do you mean?

DBM: You’re referring to your action as a ‘mistake’. How can you scar your wife’s heart with another person and call it a mistake?

Carle: I don’t need to explain myself to you

DBM: You addressed her as your ‘ex-wife’. Are you divorced?

Carle: Yes

DBM: For how long now?

Carle: 2 years

DBM: What were you doing these past two years?

Carle: Nothing

DBM: Were you dating any of the girls you made mistakes with?

Carle: Yes

DBM: Are you still together?

Carle: No

DBM: Why are you not together?

Carle: She left me

DBM: Why?

Carle: Because I wanted to be with my wife.

DBM: It’s up to your ex-wife to forgive you.

Carle: I’m hoping she would accept my apology.

DBM: She can decide not to accept this apology, and you’d have to respect that decision too.

Carle: I want to bring my family back together.

DBM: Fixing what you took for granted doesn’t start with her forgiveness. It begins with you, changing for real, and for the better.

Carle: I have changed

DBM: Good for you, but that wouldn’t necessarily push her toward the kind of decision you’re hoping for.

Carle: I just want her to read this message

DBM: And assuming she doesn’t want to have anything to do with you again after reading the message, you can use this experience as a learning opportunity and simply apply whatever it has taught you to future relationships. Every effort we put into a relationship matters to the integrity of its overall state.

Image Credit: Mikhail Nilov

‘Babe, can you focus on the road?’

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

Hi David. I don’t feel like chatting right now. I just want to brief you on something that happened recently. There used to be a guy working in my husband’s office. He became more like a family friend to us. He died in June, 2025 and we attended his funeral a few weeks ago. I love to drive and go fast but I couldn’t bring myself to drive to his funeral. My husband planned to leave early because his name was on the program to read a tribute on behalf of their team at work. Long story made short, he came home to pick me up. In the backseat was his personal assistant. Another amiable, smart young lady who had also become a family friend to us. She’s the one he uses often to surprise me with gifts and dinner dates on our wedding anniversaries or my birthday. I’ve used her services many times to plan birthday surprise parties for my husband at work and home.

On our way to Kumasi, we were discussing every subject on the table, politics, life, death, etc. My husband is the type that even if he’s exhausted behind the steering wheel, he would force himself not to fall asleep. He started to sleep and wasn’t focused on the road. He made a swift miss to change a lane and his personal assistant at the back shouted, ‘BABE, can you focus on the road?’ Dave, the first name I screamed when that happened was ‘Jesus’, hers was ‘babe’. Suddenly, my husband who was supposed to be heavy-eyed was wide awake and nonchalantly, staring at his assistant through the rearview mirror. In the 11 years that I have known my husband, I have never seen him on silent mode. We all sat in awkward silence till we got to Kumasi and back.

I have still not brought the subject up for discussion at home. It’s been five weeks now.

Image Credit: Shukhrat Umarov

Eye For An Eye

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

Aqua: Hi Dave. Story time. When our child was born, my wife suggested two names she wanted me to add to the names I had already chosen for my son. We had agreed on two names, plus my surname. But my wife, out of nowhere, wanted us to add two new names to his name. Just recently, I was having issues with my phone and had to use my wife’s WhatsApp to call someone. I came across conversations she’d had with two different men who were under the assumption that my son was theirs. They know my wife is married, yet believed my son was theirs. Meaning, they both slept with her at a point in time. Their first names, interestingly, happened to be the two new names my wife added to my names for our son. I also found out that, they have been sending her money every month for ‘their’ son’s upkeep. Dave, there is absolutely nothing lower than a woman you think is in love with you, lying about the paternity of a child. I think it’s unfair and I’m going to clap back.

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Have you confronted your wife about your discovery?

Aqua: I have. Her only excuse is that I was cheating on her so she had to let her own hair down.

DBM: Were you cheating on her?

Aqua: I was but I stopped when I got caught.

DBM: What are you going to do?

Aqua: I’m going to leave this marriage

DBM: I see. Do you mind me asking why you were cheating on her?

Aqua: Same reason every guy steps out sometimes. I needed to feel needed and admired. The woman I was with was struggling with her life and career. My intention was to help her find a job but we both became vulnerable and lost focus.

DBM: Does she have a job now?

Aqua: She’s still working on it. I gave her a few contacts and leads when I ended things.

DBM: Is your marriage worth saving?

Aqua: No

DBM: You’re done?

Aqua: Totally done.

DBM: You don’t think you can ever forgive her?

Aqua: I will never be able to forgive her

DBM: How about how she felt when you were doing the cheating?

Aqua: I didn’t get the other woman pregnant. There is a difference

DBM: I am not talking about that. I am talking about how you made her feel when she caught you cheating. Were you expecting her to forgive and forget?

Aqua: She said she had forgiven me. And I believed her. That’s why I ended things with the other girl.

DBM: I know you feel betrayed right now but I’d have to ask again; there really is nothing worth holding on to?

Aqua: Even if there is, I don’t think I’d ever trust her again

DBM: Do you think she would ever trust you again?

Aqua: I don’t care anymore bro.

DBM: Do you at least, feel the love you once had for her beneath all the anger you’re feeling right now?

Aqua: I don’t think I can bring myself to love her like I used to.

DBM: That’s understandable. Has she apologized to you?

Aqua: Yes.

DBM: Have you apologized to her?

Aqua: I did when I was caught.

DBM: Was it sincere?

Aqua: Does it matter? She cheated back

DBM: And, is the baby your child?

Aqua: Yes. I did a DNA test.

DBM: Thank GOD! Now, baby is yours. What’s the next step?

Aqua: Filing for divorce.

DBM: That is your final decision?

Aqua: Final decision.

DBM: Have you started with the process?

Aqua: Not yet.

DBM: When do you intend to?

Aqua: Not sure but soon.

DBM: You still live in the same house?

Aqua: Yes, but sleeping in separate rooms.

DBM: How long have you been married?

Aqua: 5 years

DBM: That’s a young marriage. Do you want my opinion or you just needed to find a space to vent?

Aqua: What’s your opinion?

DBM: Maintain the separation arrangement and sleep in different rooms. Use the time to reflect on your individual actions and be happy on your own terms. Make little efforts to invest in the marriage if you still think you can one day be willing to show up – with a forgiving heart, to grant the mother of your child mercy. If you can see yourself, someday, extending grace on your wife, you will grow to want to rebuild the marriage from where you left of.

Aqua: You would have told a woman to leave her cheating husband. You and your biases

DBM: Well, guess what! The cheating husband in question was the one cheating on her first. Deal with it or take accountability.

Aqua: I can forgive her but not now.

DBM: That’s a great start. Anytime I choose to forgive someone it helps reduce the hate and dislike I have for the person. Genuine forgiveness also inspires a change in our behavior and encourages a healthy attitude towards rebuilding a relationship.

Aqua: But Dave, I’m still questioning whether we have to work things out. I still feel like I am done with her.

DBM: If you reflect on it and still come to the same conclusion, then don’t force to make it work. Not all marriages are meant to last.

Aqua: Thanks

Image Credit: Tima Miroshnichenko

Exploring Gray Areas

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

Dave, no judgement. We know you. You think every black man is up to no good. That was just by the way. There was a time in my life that I had to be tilting the screen of my phone away from my wife anytime she walked by. A lot was happening on the apps on my phone that I didn’t want her to see. I had to be changing my passwords often because she was getting suspicious. It got to that point where privacy suddenly meant everything to me. I was in the wrong for having all these cheating tools hiding in plain sight.

I didn’t know she had installed Spynger and Eyezy to track activities on my phone, computer and cloud. She had access to all my SMS messages, call logs, photos, files and even my location. Things and contacts I had deleted, she had access to all. Dave, I work in IT, and mSpy had been installed and running quietly in the background, monitoring my social media posts, messages, friend lists, people I followed or chat with and I didn’t have a clue.
She gathered her evidence before confronting me. I didn’t have much to say because everything she was showing me did happen. She did not talk to me for two weeks. I came home from work one day and she told me she was no longer interested in having a monogamous relationship with me anymore. She wanted us to agree on guidelines that allowed us to screw or have emotional relations outside of our marriage. This is not an arrangement I was in favor of, but because I messed up first, I couldn’t fight it.
I asked if it was going to be purely sexual or we were allowed to look for emotional intimacy and she said she didn’t care. ‘Whatever happens, happens’. That was her response.

I also asked if we were going to play outside our marriage individually or together and she said individually. Dave, I love my wife and children and I do not want to raise my kids in two separate homes. That is why I was willing to allow her proposition in the first place, so she could even the score. I asked my wife how long she wanted the set-up to last so we could put the past behind us and get back to where we left off. She said the new arrangement was going to be our new normal. I’ve been thinking about this for sometime and have been wondering whether she’s opting for it because she already has someone in mind or she’s just not happy with our marriage?

I want to keep an open mind while I consider her offer. Though this might be the perfect opportunity for me to think outside the box about what more I might want sexually that I was afraid to ask previously, this eventually could also be the end of us if we are to open this door to explore the gray areas.

Image Credit: Sherman Trotz

Let’s Talk To Dofi

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog. 2 Comments

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 130: My name is Dofi

DBM: Hi Dofi. How would you describe yourself?

Dofi: I love to learn

DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

Dofi: 8

DBM: What do you want to talk about?

Dofi: I’m in relationship with a guy I respect so much. I really wish I could put the reasons why I love him into words but I can’t. There is a problem. He introduced me to one of his uncles and he just happened to be one of the men I used to date. His uncle was the first older man in my circle of ‘daddies’ that I dated. I fell in love with him because he used to wow me with his kindness and crazy sense of humor. He was massively more committed in the relationship than I was, because he was a married man.

DBM: Is he still married?

Dofi: Yes

DBM: Why did you break up?

Dofi: He had another girlfriend. It’s a long story. Also, I was interested in a different guy

DBM: And so, you broke things off?

Dofi: He did

DBM: What was his reason?

Dofi: He needed to focus on his family

DBM: Okay! Did he?

Dofi: No. He’s the one guy I am probably going to have sex with even if I am happily married.

DBM: Why is that?

Dofi: He makes me feel like a woman

DBM: How does it feel like to be a woman?

Dofi: Safe, secure, protected, cared for, adored, loved, respected, shielded, home, free

DBM: I see

Dofi: Any woman who has ever been handled well by a good man knows what I’m talking about. Such women find themselves in a dilemma when these stand-outs show up to us suddenly for a fling. We may love our boyfriends or husbands but nothing would compare…

DBM: To that man who made you feel like a woman?

Dofi: Yes. They are the type of guys that we are physically, emotionally, mentally and monetarily attracted to, and may act on it

DBM: You met the uncle, and then what happened?

Dofi: He looked at me with his look

DBM: What look?

Dofi: That look that flirts with me to come for an expensive quickie

DBM: You’re obviously not serious about your boyfriend, no?

Dofi: I am, Dave. My boyfriend is always there for me and I love him for that

DBM: Does he know about you and his uncle?

Dofi: The issue is, I had been with his uncle a week prior to him introducing us.

DBM: Been with him, how?

Dofi: Sex

DBM: In other words, you’re cheating on your boyfriend

Dofi: Yes and no

DBM: Please explain

Dofi: I am not in a relationship with his uncle. What we share is a soul-tie

DBM: What is a soul-tie?

Dofi: It goes deeper than love; it’s not always experienced in a relationship setting.

DBM: Have you processed exactly what you’re doing to your boyfriend?

Dofi: What am I doing?

DBM: Cheating on him with his uncle.

Dofi: Hmmm!

DBM: What unrealistic expectations do you have of your boyfriend?

Dofi: None

DBM: Are you physically attracted to him?

Dofi: Very much

DBM: Does he work?

Dofi: He has a good paying job

DBM: He treats you good?

Dofi: Very

DBM: He loves you?

Dofi: He is in love with me

DBM: You can spend the rest of your life living with his character?

Dofi: Yes

DBM: He’s mature?

Dofi: He is my dream man

DBM: So, what will make you have sex with his uncle?

Dofi: I didn’t know they were related.

DBM: Let me rephrase the statement then, what will make you cheat on him?

Dofi: I don’t know how to say no to his uncle

DBM: Does the uncle pressure you to have sex with him?

Dofi: No

DBM: Why then can’t you say no to his advances?

Dofi: It’s not that simple

DBM: Simplify it for me

Dofi: Money exchanges hands. A lot of money

DBM: How much is a lot?

Dofi: $1500

DBM: Ghana Cedis you mean?

Dofi: No, Dave, USD for every meet

DBM: So, it’s about the money?

Dofi: Partially

DBM: What do you do for work?

Dofi: I have a day job. I can survive without his money but I still need it

DBM: Are you prepared to face the consequences of your actions by addressing what you’ve been up to with your boyfriend?

Dofi: Not in this world

DBM: How would you feel if he were to be doing the exact thing to you?

Dofi: I’d be hurt

DBM: Why are you doing it then?

Dofi: His uncle makes me feel invincible when I am with him

DBM: Your boyfriend makes you feel what?

Dofi: Invincible too, but on a different level

DBM: Do you know what you want?

Dofi: I know what I want

DBM: Who do you want?

Dofi: My boyfriend’s love and his uncle’s TLC which when combined, feels like an absolutely amazing field trip with lunch in a cool weather.

DBM: I see. Kindly remind me the purpose for this chat?

Dofi: I want to know if it’s okay to render to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and give to God what belongs to God?

DBM: Loving your boyfriend should come naturally to you when you realize how much he’s that much into you. You’re setting yourself up in a trap entertaining his uncle

Dofi: Ok

DBM: Participant 129, Pablo, left a question for you: ‘I am going to assume your house, containing everything you own and value, has caught fire. After saving your loved ones, you just happen to have time to safely make a final dash in there to save any one item. What would it be, and why?’

Dofi: My dildo. An orgasm before bed does wonders to my sleep. The sleep is better and sounder

DBM: It’s your turn to leave a question behind for the next participant

Dofi: Is it ever OKAY to lie?

DBM: Thank you!

Image Credit: Cottonbro Studio

Let’s Talk To Syid

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog.

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 103: Syid

DBM: Hi Syid. How would you describe yourself?

Syid: Dealing with unprocessed anger, hurt, frustration and resentment

DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

Syid: 4

DBM: What do you want to talk about?

Syid: My father’s brother was like a friend to me. Because my dad used to travel a lot, he was the one who represented as my father-figure during PTA meetings, whenever my mother couldn’t come. He helped me go through difficult times in my life; he taught me how to save and invest. He is the reason I can simply accept what is, in my life. He’s lived his life in such a way that, no one will suffer because of him; he takes very good care of himself. Dave, I understand the importance of hard work and sacrifice because my uncle is a living example of what that means. My father died last year. Family and visitors came to our house till he was buried. I assumed there was no one home when I arrived a month after my dad’s burial; only to hear these little noises coming from my mother’s bedroom, after I shouted her name to be sure she was home. When I got to her bedroom door, which was partially closed, I saw my uncle, naked. He had put a pillow on his lap to cover his boner.

DBM: Oh, my!

Syid: Before I could express my shock, he shouted my name and said, ‘I’m your father, boy’

DBM: As in?

Syid: My biological father

DBM: Where was your mother in this moment?

Syid: Seated next to him. She confirmed his claim, saying she was attracted to my uncle for over a year before the man I believed was my actual father swept her off her feet with money and good living. My uncle used to work for my father. My mum says, she never thought what she had with my uncle could come to anything because it was just attraction from a distance. But after my late father started traveling to work in different places, and would come home once or twice a month during the weekends, she found herself bouncing back to the man she once cared for deeply.

DBM: Did she love your late father?

Syid: She was married but unhappy

DBM: I can only imagine

Syid: She also said, she had known my uncle longer and had naturally begun to imagine what the future would have looked like with him. They discussed plans like marriage, renting a house together, divorcing my dad and starting a family of their own.

DBM: How would you describe your late father?

Syid: He was also one of the kindest people I had ever seen. He loved all of his children and had a great sense of humor. He had no enemies

DBM: How many siblings do you have?

Syid: We’re three

DBM: You’re the eldest?

Syid: No, the second

DBM: How old are you?

Syid: 32

DBM: Is your uncle married?

Syid: He never married. That’s one thing I could never understand

DBM: But he had girlfriends, no?

Syid: I never saw him with one

DBM: Has he other children?

Syid: Not that I know of. Come to think of it, I think I saw signs of him and my mother being too close for my liking when I was young. Many times, he visited us at home in my father’s absence, he could look over at my mother, and their eyes would meet, and then mum would look down – and sometimes would open her mouth in shock and burst into laughter because my uncle would be having a hard-on. I’ve seen him slap my mum’s butt in the kitchen on two different occasions when I was young. And she used to leave us at home to watch all the TV in the world and sleep anytime we wanted on Fridays or weekends that my father wasn’t around. On those days, I remember she used to dress sexier than usual to go out. I have seen my uncle come up behind my mum, grab her by the hips, and slow-dance with her, but stopped the moment I walked in on them after school.

DBM: Your young eyes have seen a lot

Syid: But it didn’t click back then

DBM: He was your favorite uncle; how would anything click for you?

Syid: This life is fucked up

DBM: What’s going through your mind right now – talking about them?

Syid: I feel conflicted with hate for both mum and uncle

DBM: Have you talked to your mother and uncle about how you feel?

Syid: I don’t know how I feel, Mr. Dave. I feel betrayed

DBM: Do you think they intentionally wanted to hurt your feelings?

Syid: I don’t know, but whatever they’ve done has made me cry

DBM: I understand your tears. Perhaps, when all the mixed-feelings are less, you could consider being upfront with them about how you feel being kept out of the picture

Syid: Would it make the shock of it any hurtful?

DBM: Fortunately for you, you have a better understanding of your mother’s past with your father’s brother. You have your own recollections of the both of them – even though you could not put two-and-two together. I believe this should help you to find a more manageable resolution with them.

Syid: I grew up looking up to my parents and uncle. They were my favorite role models and how I wanted my own family to look like

DBM: You can still process your emotions through this. Do you know if your siblings are your late father’s children?

Syid: Mum says they are. There are DNA-test results to prove it

DBM: I see

Syid: These changes everything about my life in a massive way, realizing the man I thought was my father actually isn’t

DBM: The bottom line is this, they put you kids first. Both fathers and mother were present to teach you, guide you and help you to become who you all are today. They did not just create you, they loved on you – regardless. Hating on them now may be valid an emotion, but ask yourself if it’s healthy for you

Syid: Easier said than done

DBM: One thing I always tell myself is that, I am not answerable for what I experience at the hands of others. People willingly choose to do whatever they feel like doing to either hurt or uplift my feelings. The only mature thing I can do is to simply hold on to the control that I have in restoring my own mental and relational sanity

Image Credit: Tom Adabi

Let’s Talk To Friday

Written by David B on . Posted in Blog. 3 Comments

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 44: Friday

DBM: Hi Friday. Please tell me a little about yourself

Friday: Can we skip this part?

DBM: Why do you want to skip it?

Friday: There is not much to tell

DBM: I want to have an idea of you

Friday: I’m a guy

DBM: Married?

Friday: Yes

DBM: You have kids?

Friday: Yes

DBM: How long have you been married?

Friday: Nine years

DBM: How old are you?

Friday: 40

DBM: Nice meeting you. What do you want to talk about?

Friday: Two things: I just saw my wife’s original birth certificate. She’s the same age as me; meanwhile she’s made me believe for all these years that she’s seven years younger than me. The second issue: she has a child I didn’t know about. He is 11 years old and lives with his father. My wife is in communication with her baby-daddy, and I have been paying for this child’s fees and taking care of the boy and his father without my knowledge.

DBM: With regards to the birth certificate thing, couldn’t you easily guess her age at a glance?

Friday: Have you met my wife? You can never know by looking at her. She’s nowhere near old

DBM: I see, but did you choose to assume she was younger or she put a number to her age?

Friday: She’s the one who lied about her age when we started dating

DBM: Has she confirmed the existence of an 11-year-old son to you?

Friday: Yes, after confronting her with evidence

DBM: Where did you find such evidence?

Friday: I read through a series of texts on her phone, which revealed that they had a past, have a present and future. I had her followed afterwards.

DBM: This is a lot to deal with

Friday: I know Dave, cry me a river, because she has been sleeping with her son’s father – all throughout our marriage.

DBM: No!

Friday: Yes!

DBM: But why would she do such a thing to you?

Friday: She says her baby-daddy is the guy who brings out her confident, sexy self, and she doesn’t know how to stop loving him because she’s deeply connected to him.

DBM: What do you bring to her life?

Friday: Security, comfort, and love. She says that’s why she fell in love with me too

DBM: Why would the first guy allow her to be married to you, if they’re still an item?

Friday: I was their financial gateway

DBM: What’s going through your mind right now?

Friday: I don’t know if my children are mine

DBM: Have you asked your wife?

Friday: She claims they’re mine but I don’t believe a single word coming out of her mouth.

DBM: Do they look like they’re yours?

Friday: I don’t know.

DBM: Have you asked how many times they’ve been sleeping together?

Friday: Twice a week

DBM: For how long?

Friday: Since we started dating.

DBM: Have you spoken to the guy?

Friday: The three of us had a sit down

DBM: Whose idea was this?

Friday: Mine

DBM: Why?

Friday: I wanted to understand what was going on

DBM: Do you understand what’s going on?

Friday: Yes, I’ve been played big time, but my wife is still insisting she’s very much in love with me.

DBM: She’s that much into the other guy too?

Friday: Yes!

DBM: And, he’s that much into her?

Friday: Yes! But he also revealed he’s in love with another lady – to my wife’s surprise.

DBM: Why was she surprised?

Friday: Probably thought she was the only one he was doing it with

DBM: Is your wife the only woman in your life?

Friday: Honestly?

DBM: Truthfully

Friday: No!

DBM: Who else is there?

Friday: Just this one lady

DBM: You love her?

Friday: Very much!

DBM: You love your wife?

Friday: So very much

DBM: Does she know about this other woman?

Friday: No!

DBM: Why not?

Friday: Because she’s also the mother of my child

DBM: This is before or after meeting your wife?

Friday: That was just four years ago

DBM: And, how old is the child?

Friday: Two years

DBM: Where is your wife right now?

Friday: At work

DBM: No, I mean where did she sleep last night?

Friday: In our bed

DBM: You’re going to let it slide?

Friday: If our children are mine, I might forgive her

DBM: If they’re not?

Friday: I will divorce her

DBM: So, till then, she’s still fulfilling her wifely duties?

Friday: Yes

DBM: Including sex?

Friday: Yes!

DBM: When was the last time you had sex with your wife?

Friday: This dawn

DBM: Is she still seeing the other guy?

Friday: I don’t know

DBM: Do you care to know?

Friday: I think they still talk or meet, but cannot be sure about sex

DBM: Does it bother you?

Friday: I don’t think about it

DBM: Why not?

Friday: I just don’t

DBM: Are you feeling uninterested because you are torn between what you are secretly doing on your wife’s blindside?

Friday: I love my wife, that’s why I am not sure I can hold it against her.

DBM: Assuming you had been faithful to your wife all this while, and then discovered this hot mess; would you be speaking the same language?

Friday: I don’t know. What I know is, I am going to learn how to restore my trust in her all over again.

DBM: How do you understand love?

Friday: I believe love is a choice I make

DBM: I agree

Friday: Looking at what I am dealing with at home, I don’t think I fell in love with my wife. I doubt she fell in love with me too

DBM: How do you mean?

Friday: I mean we chose to instead open our hearts to each other. I opened my heart to her, and she did too, so we could see the beauty in each other. I am doing same with my baby-momma; she’s doing that with her son’s father. We are all feeling vulnerable in our respective relationships, and with our selves. We’ve allowed our guards to drop, so our hearts can open – in order to give ourselves permission to feel, love and be loved back.

DBM: That is love?

Friday: That is love for me. I get to love another woman, aside loving my wife. She’s also loving me, while connecting in love with her son’s father.

DBM: Does that mean we all have the potential to love more than just one person?

Friday: It’s actually up to the people involved and the decisions they make concerning what makes them feel good, and their capacity level.

DBM: Capacity-level in which sense?

Friday: In my case, I have the resources to manage more than one woman in my life. I have the energy to meet their physical and emotional needs; I also have their time and can make time for all involved. Both of my relationships are grounded in a solid love for one another.

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