Love – Page 10

RANDY COLEMAN’S OPINION

Written by David B on July 10, 2022. Posted in Blog.

My wife and I could have pulled off a lavish wedding if we wanted to. In fact, we are not doing badly financially. But God blessed me with the kind of woman who is much more interested in a better life and future for us and our children, than just a one-day show-off (wedding). She reasoned with me and we had a simple but beautiful engagement; went to court to sign, and we were married. We are happily married with a lovely baby boy, and no financial burden hanging over our heads.

This is a woman who holds two degrees in nursing with other specialties, and has practiced for over a decade as a Senior Nurse. When we started dating, she was already doing her Masters at GIMPA, drove her own car and lived independently. Talk of beauty, she’s got it; the type that other women see and go like… waow! You are beautiful! Yet, she’s very simple, kind-hearted, considerate, and so down to earth. This is the woman I call my wife; that special, priceless gem of a woman to be adored.

The thing is, a big wedding is definitely okay if you want it, and can afford it. But don’t throw away your happiness in pursuit of a one-day ceremony. It just doesn’t make sense. Most of us guys honestly do appreciate simple women who prioritize the future over and above today. That’s my truth!

Image Credit: Randy Coleman

THE VOICE WITHIN

Written by David B on July 9, 2022. Posted in Blog.

I have shared my story with my siblings and in-law. Two of my best friends also know this story. I have a feeling some of the people who know about this may tag me after reading it on your page because some of them follow you, David. Please keep me anonymous if you’re to post it. It’s about how I met my wife and how I knew she was the one for me. My grandfather told me this —– be the kind of man that your wife wouldn’t want to cheat on. Don’t be the reason why a woman you love would cheat on. He said it to me in Twi, and it’s been my manual. He said a man is a total failure and an embarrassment if his wife cheats on him.

It all happened in the afternoon; it was a Saturday in 2011. My younger brother was celebrating his birthday on the 15th of October. He was 27 years old. He wanted the gob3 sold at my junction as his birthday treat. We drove to the junction to buy the beans and ripe plantain. A lady we met in the line was buying 2 cedis of everything mixed together. It was small in my opinion and I was wondering how she was going to be satisfied eating that. A voice inside my head asked me to buy her more but I refused to listen. After we were done buying ours, I saw an old woman approach the lady who had bought two cedis Gob3. She gave her food to her to eat. That small voice kept telling me to call her and give her money but I refused.

We drove home and me and my brother had a good time eating and drinking. An hour or so later, my doorbell rang. I opened the door and lo and behold, it was her. Mr. David, it was my first time seeing that lady in the Gob3 line in my hood. My house was about 25 houses away from the main junction where we bought the food. And she was at my door. These were her words to me when I opened the door, God says you have to feed me. I started laughing after hearing those words because I knew the promptings I also heard at the junction. It couldn’t have been a coincidence for a match or meant-to-be catch. She was a catch! No two ways about it, but she looked hungry and unkept that day, and so I couldn’t really see through her. I invited her in to go and cook something in the kitchen. I always have something in the kitchen. She prepared enough food for all three of us to eat in the evening. The food was good.

She took her bath in my house and Dave, without any makeup, I saw my future wife in her. We spoke for hours and I knew she was the one for me because she was a relationship-oriented lady. She had the till-death-do-us-part enthusiasm. The second thing was that I was not the only one excited about meeting her; she was just as excited about me as I was about her. I am not talking about sex here but she made my body feel glad. Usually, my body gets excited when I am about to get laid. This wasn’t the case this time.

My body was just happy being around her. We shook hands before she left and I was right about her. My body wanted to be touched or hugged by her. Sex didn’t cross my mind for a moth and over when we started talking. I didn’t feel any pressure to be perfect around her. She draws my attention to my mess all the time, but she tolerates my mess and makes me even laugh at myself always. I married my wife because I realized she was giving as much as she took from me. I trust my wife because she’s strong on my behalf when I am weak. She’s remained a big part of my everyday life since she came knocking at my door on 15/10/11. We married in 2013 and I still look forward to sharing and spending time with her. We chat on the phone all the time when we are at work; any and everything, I want to tell my wife first. If I was given the opportunity to create my own woman, I doubt that I could have come with someone as considerate and loving as my wife. What did I have to do to deserve a woman like my wife? Because I look forward to nothing other than seeing her every day.

Image Credit: Anna Shvets

MY FAVORITE PERSON

Written by David B on July 9, 2022. Posted in Blog.

I have never believed in LOVE IN ITS ENTIRETY; maybe, apart from my dad’s love (which was short lived), I don’t trust any other, not even that of my mother. Her world of marriage was not something I looked forward to, neither have I ever thought I would get married someday. It seems like a ‘burden’ or a ‘risk’. I don’t take risks deliberately, if I can avoid, why go into it? My husband (I call him roommate), first knew he will marry me when he was about 19 years old in high school. He had not met me but saw my name on a school admission board for freshmen (apparently, he fell in love with my name). He was in his final year and had promised himself to marry the lady behind that name. He told his other cousin and a friend in school then. Lo and behold, I finally arrived in school only for him to discover, ‘I was out of his league’, as some of his mates were interested in me.

The first time I met him, it seemed like a déjà vu. I believed I had known him but nope, never do I recall meeting him anywhere, except that – he had the looks of my father. We didn’t communicate much as his exist on campus was near but he always spoke to me, writing little poems in a notebook and dropping it off in my class. (We were in the same department). We exchanged poems in that notebook but never sat together to have a chat till he left campus.

I returned home one vacation, visiting my cousin only to discover we were in the same neighborhood and lived close to my cousin’s house. Before visiting him for the first time at home, he had already told his family he had a girlfriend. (I had no idea I was his girlfriend) yet, that was how the family saw me. No one dared to ask. They passed funny jokes whenever I visited. (I left the area and returned years later). He still held on to me as ‘his girlfriend’ all that time. I was living my life.

Long story short, one night while escorting me home he said when I get a job, I will use my first few months’ salary to marry you. I laughed so hard because I knew he seemed too good a guy for me, (WE WERE NOT OFFICIALLY DATING. I still saw him as a ‘good friend’. I couldn’t see myself marrying him. He was too quiet for my liking. Truly to his words, he went to my sister one day and told her he wants to marry me; went ahead to my elder brother to inform him about his intentions to marry me. Note: no member of my family knew I was dating; neither was aware I had a serious boyfriend, except my big sister, who knows the men (general) in my life. The first time my family met him officially was the day of the ‘knocking’.

He had informed his family but I was the last person to know I was about to get married. When his father and Auntie called me to inform me, I was upset, and confronted him about it. He was confident I am the only woman he wants to be with. I gave them my own date to be married, as their notice was about a month ahead to the proposed date. I requested for a few more months. We got married within four months after his intention was made known. Our 14 years together has never seen any misunderstanding; he hates confrontation and he is a man of very few words. He is the worst person to pick a quarrel with because he won’t utter a word. A friend once told me you both are like oil and water. I am an extrovert and he is like a ‘TOTAL LOCKDOWN’; that’s if that can describe an extreme introvert. He lives in the shadows. He joins me on my night life, and I am like his ‘bad influence’. I taught him how to drink alcohol, socialize, club; how to express his anger, and also, talking to women without fear of offending them. Not all women are rude when approached. It depends on how you come at them.

Ask me about an Angel and I will point to him; he says he wanted a wife but got a social media manager too, (you send him WhatsApp messages and he takes months to reply. I have to check his messages for him. I don’t know about happily ever, but I am a happily spoiled wife. Marriage to him is like having a roommate who does all the work, while you take compliments. I live a simple life with him. I married him with a leap of faith in him. He is a man that met all my checklist: tribe, same taste in music, loves domestic chores; he is faithful, loves movies; he has a lovely skin color; very empathetic, and started life with me from the ground up. We had the exact country themed wedding I dreamed of. We are building a future together, but whatever happens in the future I am proud and glad I met a man who defines marriage as a commandment of commitment. He once said to me you are the woman I am having my every first with.

Least I forget, our poetic note book was our marriage wows. We’ve been married for 10 years now. Our wedding song was “When God Made You”. He is a man with no flaws, dignity, and the humblest to ever walk this earth. Whenever there is chaos, he is that ‘silver lining’. Mr. EC, may God bless you a million times. If you miss heaven, I will blame God; if I depart this earth some day before you, I want you to move on with your life, and enjoy it to the fullest. I promise to learn how to drive so you can stay home and enjoy your lockdown in peace. Allow me to also do the domestic chores; my mum says you make me lazy. Judith says you are a diplomatic person so I should allow you to do your things while I do my controversial things. Gizz said if you become a pastor someday, we will be poor because you can’t take offertory, and would probably give out all our savings.

Image Credit: Andres Ayrton

GOOD FOR ME IS THELMA

Written by David B on July 7, 2022. Posted in Blog.

Wifey and I have been married for 27 years. We were not boyfriend-girlfriend. She didn’t believe in that. She wanted a friend not boyfriend. She always says, friendship has less expectations. She wasn’t asking me for money or gifts when we were friends. I gave her money and gifts because of the way she carried herself. She did not give me sex in the friendship zone. I had my first sex with her on our wedding night. I knew she had deeper feelings for me but I was so much in love with her, I couldn’t remain her friend. I had to do the honorable thing. I married her. She was 36. I was 42.

David, I have been reading from your page and some of the stories people share makes me question whether or not they were ready before settling in marriage. From my experience, I don’t think girls should marry in their 20’s. Girls need to live their fullest lives as single women till their early or mid 30’s. This is my reason: Most guys start to discover who they are and who they want to spend their lives with in their mid to late 30’s. It’s at those ages that they feel growth within themselves. It’s at that age that they appreciate sacrifice and commitment. Don’t get me wrong, I know men in their 40’s and 50’s acting stupid but Dave, most guys understand what it means to be in a serious relationship from 36 up. I love sex like a dog on heat but in my 27 years marriage, the number of times I have been a couple with my wife outnumbers our sexual escapes times a million. Sex is great in marriage, but sex is not everything. That’s why when I read from the guys and girls cheating because of sex, I am convinced they weren’t ready to be married.

It’s okay to be single and content till you’re ready to be responsible. I married Thelma because I wanted to be her provider. My wife is a lawyer. She did not need my money then. She doesn’t need my money now. But as her husband, I am her provider. When we used to rent, I never asked her to contribute to rent or bills. Now we live the good life. When I lost my job, she stepped in for three years to be my provider. I knew where my wife was going in life and I believed she was worthy of a man who believed in her dreams. Later, I found out that I am deserving of a woman who is worthy of where I am going, and that was my Thelma.

Young people should not be rushing into marriage. Be patient. Wait. Have time for yourself. Grow, earn on your own merit, hard work and save. Have fun; make friends and don’t think so much about having a boyfriend or girlfriend. When you’re ready to marry, marry that friend who is good for you.

Image Credit: Alex Green

LINDA

Written by David B on July 7, 2022. Posted in Blog. 15 Comments

I have been writing and deleting this story for 28 days now, Dave. I don’t know how to write it well. I want to celebrate my wife Linda, because these memories I share with her are precious for my life but I don’t know how to whirl my words to capture the moment. The first day I met my wife, it was drizzling on the motorway. She was walking very fast to find a place to hide. She was holding a bag; I stopped on the side to give her a lift.

She was going to Tema. It was one of those days that I felt like helping a stranger. When she sat in my car, I realized she was crying. She looked tired and wanted to take a rest. I wanted to know what was wrong with her, but she didn’t want to talk to me. When we reached the tollbooth, she asked me to buy her water and bread. She ate and drank side by side. She thanked me and answered my question; she was crying because no one would buy what she left the house to go and sell. What was she selling? Her wedding gown. She wanted just GHs 700 for the dress because she was broke. When we got to Tema, she showed me the dress. What was the original price when she bought it fresh? GHs 3500. She didn’t want to sell it because she believed it held the pinnacles of her beauty; her romance, her story. But she needed money. She had sold almost all her valuables. I gave her GHs 1000 and asked her to keep the dress. We exchanged numbers and became friends. I got to know she was divorced and had a son.

I was not having second thoughts about my friendship with her. She was the one; I wasn’t hyped about her 24/7 but Dave, I wasn’t bored liking her almost every day. My day dreams were about her. How she related to me kept my interest in her. Our communication was on the daily basis and we got to know one another better. She no longer felt like my friend, she was my lover in my mind. She wasn’t manipulative; she doesn’t say disparaging things to me. She celebrates all of my accomplishments. I could not push her boundaries to get what I wanted. I respect my wife so much. Two months after becoming friends, I invited her to stay in my house for the weekend. She hasn’t left eight years later.

Since I met my wife, we’ve made each other better versions of ourselves. When we held hands on our wedding day, I told myself to remember that, Linda is my best friend. I didn’t care how long we had known each other. She is the mother of our children; the woman to care for me till death do us part. The woman I will love till we are old and grey and dead. David, words cannot describe how I felt when her son walked her down the aisle to marry me. Because she told me all about her first marriage, I have made sure in our eight years of marriage, not to clam up about any issue, nor withdraw from one another when we argue. We do not dwell too much on what hurts us between us. We do not hold onto a grudge; we have made sure not to walk on eggshells around one another, nor allow bitterness to build when we have disagreements. There hasn’t been an accumulation of hurts from our indifferences.

I don’t spend too much time on phone or social media. I make time for my wife and children. I don’t lie about my finances. I don’t have affairs; I help with house chores around the house. My children are my priority when I am home. I am keeping my promises to my wife and don’t have any intentions to sabotage my marriage.

My sweet Linda, you have allowed me to be imperfect. You have lived with all of my faults. I thank you for being everything and more than I deserve. My wife wore the same gown she was selling. We are writing our own story.

Image Credit: Yndira Dejesús

WRONG NUMBER

Written by David B on July 7, 2022. Posted in Blog.

Hi David,

I want to share a story with you. 12 years ago, I met a woman on a bus. I liked her. We talked and she gave me her number. I didn’t have a phone, so I memorized her number before we went our separate ways. I went to buy a phone the following morning; dialed the number I was sure I memorized. I mixed two numbers and I hadn’t realized it. Another lady answered the call. She told me it a wrong number. Her name was not the name I mentioned. I was about to hang up when she told me to hold.

She’s now my wife. But before all that, she told me she used to politely let callers know of their mistakes so they hung up. She stopped being polite because her ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend, the girl he was cheating on her with when they were dating – was giving her number to guys she met at the club, and fucked with. My wife says, strange men were calling and asking her out on the phone. The other woman was giving my wife’s name to these men and it was all chaos.

Back to my story, she wanted to talk to me when I wrongly called her number. In fact, she was really nice to me on the phone. Dave, we talked for 17 months; we did not exchange pictures through email, though we both lived in Accra. I asked her to marry me though we had not met. I didn’t want to rush the process. She didn’t rush the process. In the past, I was always in a hurry for a relationship and it caused me to make crappy choices about the women I dated. I didn’t know how to be alone; I was taking just about any girl that seemed decent to avoid the feeling of loneliness and horniness. The encounter with my wife made me realize I was better than that, and I deserved better.

The first time I met my woman face-to-face, my family accompanied me to her father’s house to ask for her hand in marriage. Her smile was enough. I knew I had made the right decision; the warm embrace of our first hug made me cry. I didn’t want to let go. Dave, this is a woman I found myself calling every day, wanting to know about her day. She was always in my thoughts. At work, I was replaying our previous conversations over and over. My stomach and heart took a leap every time she called me. I knew she loved me too because we were dying to hear from each other. I couldn’t stop smiling; I was feeling more hopeful and positive about myself. Till date, I make time for the woman I love; I crave for my wife like I crave for my favorite food. I knew I was in love when it was crystal clear to me that I was ignoring other attractive women. I am still ignoring them and all the temptations that come with it.

Love is real! ‘I love you’ is always on my lips; it rains on my wife because I truly love everything about her. I feel very happy in my marriage. It feels right, Dave. I want to tell every single person, stop putting pressure on yourself for being single. Stop thinking that you need to satisfy a certain timetable because of your age. You have not failed at anything if you’re still single. As long as there is life and breath in you, you have all the time in the world to search and be found. Stop thinking about biological clocks; my wife gave birth to our first child after nine years of marriage. You have not failed at anything. You will get there when the time is right.

Image Credit: Roman Odintsov

ONE AND THE SAME

Written by David B on July 6, 2022. Posted in Blog.

David, hi!

There is a first to everything. I want to share an experience I had. I used to be the typical guy who never noticed small things as big. I was not very attentive and people around me were exasperated. I never understood why. If it’s not my main purpose at a specific time, I hardly notice anything. Okay, I saw a lady in a nice dress at Boti Falls in 2011. First, it was her colorful dress. I saw her face and she was nice. I kept seeing her in-between the rest of the trip in the Eastern Region. It wasn’t a big coincidence because most tourists were going to the same spots. We did not talk.

2012, I saw her again at Mole National Park. We noticed the coincidence in this. We smiled, and still did not interact. 2014, I bumped into her at Wli Waterfalls. She laughed and said, “Hello!”. Apparently, we had similar travel styles and tastes. 2015, I joined a holiday trip to Kintampo Falls, organized by a company. It was an open trip to the general public who could afford the fee. We went by bus. Dave, guess who just happened to sit next to me on our bus? Yep! The lady from 2011, 2012 and 2014.

I didn’t waste time. I asked for her number. I asked if she was single. “Yes”. I was single too. The trip was my first date with her and it was exhilarating and nerve-wrecking. I already had drawn parallels between our mutual interests in sightseeing. I wasn’t sure how to direct our conversations, and so I commented on the dress she had worn to Boti Falls. She was surprised I could remember. She wasn’t interested in what I did for a living. She was rather interested in my background and line of thinking. She was paying attention to how I was responding to her questions. Before we arrived in Kintampo, she had gauged my character.

Four months later, I knew she was the ‘The One’. We married in 2016, and have been together since. Emotionally, we are not distant. I work long hours but I have not lost my ability to balance my job and home life. I don’t feel neglected or taken for granted. My wife says she hasn’t felt that too. We have a lot of intimate conversations via WhatsApp during work days. When we argue or disagree and engage in our shouting matches, there is no resentment. We yell in our fights rather than hate each other. 2011, 2012, 2014 and 2015 made me realize that there is no other woman out there meant for me.

‘Till death do us part’ doesn’t scare me. Most buddies of mine are cheating on their wives because they believe there are people out there that they are missing their chances to be with, because they settled with their significant others. ‘What if’ doesn’t influence me to stray, because I’ve made a decision to only see the good in my wife when I am tempted not to. I don’t need any other proof to know that I am with the right woman. I am confident in my love for my wife to the extent that, I refuse to give in to illicit desires.

Men can be good if they choose to be good!