Let’s Talk To Yorkow
David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)
Participant 19: Yorkow
DBM: Hi, Yorkow. Please tell me a little about yourself.
Yorkow: I am HIV+
DBM: Alright! But I would want to know other positive aspects there is to you.
Yorkow: I hold an MBA in Accounting and Finance, a Bachelor of Science in Accounting; I am highly analytical and result driven.
DBM: Okay! How old are you?
Yorkow: 40
DBM: Are you single, dating or married?
Yorkow: Widowed!
DBM: So sorry. How long were you married to your late wife?
Yorkow: 9 years.
DBM: You have children?
Yorkow: Daughter.
DBM: What kind of dad are you to your child?
Yorkow: I am crazy about her, and I love her with all of my heart. She’s smart and beautiful like her mum. I pray for her every day.
DBM: What type of man are you?
Yorkow: I care for myself and take care of all of my needs on my own.
DBM: That’s good to know. Alright, what do you want to talk about?
Yorkow: I am dealing with so much guilt.
DBM: Why is that?
Yorkow: I think I am the reason my wife is dead.
DBM: What makes you say that?
Yorkow: I may have infected her with the virus.
DBM: HIV?
Yorkow: Yes!
DBM: Knowingly or unknowingly?
Yorkow: Unknowingly.
DBM: Yorkow is not your real name, is it?
Yorkow: No!
DBM: Could you have imagined being the one who would hurt your wife through cheating?
Yorkow: Yes!
DBM: How so?
Yorkow: I married a woman I am not sure I loved 100%
DBM: What percentage of love was in you for her?
Yorkow: 35% of friendly love
DBM: You were not in love with her?
Yorkow: No!
DBM: Why did you marry her then?
Yorkow: I had to marry and have children.
DBM: Why did you marry your wife?
Yorkow: I don’t know.
DBM: Did you like her?
Yorkow: Yes! She was my friend, and I cared about her.
DBM: Cared in which way?
Yorkow: I wanted the best for her.
DBM: Were you the best for her?
Yorkow: No!
DBM: So, why did you take that place in her life?
Yorkow: She wasn’t finding the right man. All the guys she dated ended up hurting her feelings.
DBM: And what did you do differently when you took up space in her heart?
Yorkow: I made one of her dreams come true.
DBM: Which was?
Yorkow: Being married, having a baby.
DBM: Did you love the person you were cheating on your wife with?
Yorkow: I did.
DBM: What is her HIV status?
Yorkow: He is a man.
DBM: You’re gay?
Yorkow: Bisexual.
DBM: Which of the sexes are you drawn to the most?
Yorkow: Men.
DBM: What is the man’s HIV status?
Yorkow: +
DBM: Was he the only man you were sleeping with?
Yorkow: Yes!
DBM: Protected sex?
Yorkow: No! We had been together for more than 12 years. I trusted him.
DBM: You two were dating before you married your wife?
Yorkow: Yes.
DBM: And, your wife knew him?
Yorkow: She knew we were close friends.
DBM: Is he also married?
Yorkow: Yes!
DBM: So, he was the one sleeping around?
Yorkow: I suppose so.
DBM: Did he confirm to being with other men?
Yorkow: Yes!
DBM: Did he know about his HIV status, prior to you finding out about yours?
Yorkow: I don’t think so.
DBM: Do you think your wife knew about your relationship with him?
Yorkow: No!
DBM: Is your wife the type that would be unfaithful?
Yorkow: No! She’s a good woman.
DBM: How about your boyfriend’s wife?
Yorkow: I wouldn’t know.
DBM: It is not easy to deal with these feelings of guilt after betrayal, and still live with yourself as if nothing happened.
Yorkow: I feel horrible, and angry, and sad.
DBM: We all make mistakes.
Yorkow: Hmmm!
DBM: Would you want me to recommend a counselor I trust?
Yorkow: No!
DBM: What’s going through your mind right now?
Yorkow: A lot.
DBM: Are you going to be alright?
Yorkow: I don’t know!
DBM: Do you have any support at home with your daughter?
Yorkow: Yes.
DBM: Forgive yourself, Yorkow. There are more positive things in your life to cheer you up; be conscious of those very things and allow yourself to be encouraged by them. And, please do not make that mistake of wasting your energy – trying to live up to, and become what this society expects you to be. You are saying you are attracted to men more; find decent men who like men, and relate to and with them the best way you understand love and affection. That is honesty! Honesty to yourself, and your creator. Only He can understand your true feelings and judge you accordingly.
Yorkow: Okay! I’ve got to work. Thanks!
Image Credit: Mike Jones
Kofi
Had I know is always at last. You married someone out of pity and ended up hurting and sending her to her grave. That’s so sad and unfortunate.
Saviour
DMB paa, I’m disappointed in you. Is that your advice to him? I know you’re trying to be liberal to please everyone but gayism shd be frowned on. Let’s help them to come out of it rather than encouraging them. God never created Adam and Adam.
Anyway, thanks for your good works.
Jason
Liberal about what? Liberal for the wrong reasons? Just to get people behind him.
If David believes there is a God, then he needs to be careful.
Venissa
You wanted the best for her mpo nie😠
Sometimes it’s better to leave our loved ones to face some situations other than trying to be their saviours
Wanting the best for her and it sent her to an early grave…..Smh
Adjoa Ackah
She wasn’t finding the right man and you were neither the right man for her but you decided to marry her and hurt her. May God have mercy on you. Dave he can’t have HIV and still find a decent man to be with, he should continue with the person who gave it to him or for his own salvation stop that act.
Alibi
Your advice to him is very infantile and rather very dangerous. Who are you trying to please?