Let’s Talk To Coffie
David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)
Participant 99: Coffie
DBM: Hi Coffie. How would you describe yourself?
Coffie: I try not to cross the line of being inappropriate. I’m a gentleman
DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?
Coffie: 7
DBM: What do you want to talk about?
Coffie: I smoke cannabis every day before going to bed, because it relaxes my nerves. I cannot do without dope, also because it puts me in the mood for sex. I love sex; every woman I have been with orgasms satisfactorily because the weed increases my sex drive. Pot alters my sexual libido to do more rounds of sex when I am high. Even though my girlfriend testifies to the amplified pleasurable sensations that arises in her when I am high on marijuana, she doesn’t like the fact that I smoke weed. She wants me to quit smoking; something I don’t think I can do.
DBM: How old are you?
Coffie: 39
DBM: And, for how long have you been smoking weed?
Coffie: Since I was in SSS 2. A few of my friends were into it, and I became curious and later wanted to experiment. Initially, it was just for the fun of it but I got to realize it was a stress reliever. I could manage my emotions and moods, cope with depression and anxiety; it helped me feel good, forgetting all of my worries. I could sleep better, analyze situations from a higher perspective and it takes away boredom
DBM: What do you do for a living?
Coffie: I am a Petroleum Engineer
DBM: How long have you and your woman been an item?
Coffie: Two years
DBM: She’s known you to be smoking all this while?
Coffie: Yes. I was actually blowing off steam in my car the first time she walked up to me
DBM: Why does she wants you to stop?
Coffie: I usually keep my smoking habits discrete and can carry on through my daily activities without smelling like dope. Her family invited us to dinner, and I think the smell of the weed smoke had clinged on my skin and shirt. Her dad and brothers got the hint and they weren’t in favor of our relationship before I could even introduce myself to them.
DBM: I hate the smell of weed. I would not have liked you either
Coffie: But Dave, my favorite flower has different aromas. Do you know about that?
DBM: I don’t!
Coffie: It depends on the strain; however, I will not dispute the fact that, some can be dramatically strong
DBM: How much weed had you smoked prior to the family dinner?
Coffie: Just two rolls, nothing major
DBM: I see
Coffie: My girlfriend wants me to either stop smoking or lose her
DBM: That’s easy, no?
Coffie: Easy how?
DBM: You’re going to stop smoking because you love her
Coffie: I love her, but I don’t want to feel pressured by a woman who is using my love for her to make an uncomfortable decision that does not align with my desires and beliefs.
DBM: You think she’s trying to control you by making such a request?
Coffie: She’s already been denying me sex, because I’m still smoking. I find her recent attitude towards me to be manipulative. Boss, I don’t treat her bad, I don’t chase after other women when I am in a relationship. I am aroused when I am high and my woman is the only person I think about. Why is she threatening to leave me because I won’t stop smoking?
DBM: Why do you love her?
Coffie: She’s sincere, and I love waking up next to her every morning. I want her in my future because she has an awesome body and enormous arse; we’ve made good memories and I get amazed when she doesn’t know how beautiful she is. She’s very gentle and kind, smart and sometimes, humorous. Her car is always messy and would argue with me if I try to clean it. I love those little arguments with her. A few things about her that I admire; her smile, laughter, energy, enthusiasm. She’s my close to flawless.
DBM: Did she give her reasons as to why she doesn’t want you to be smoking weed anymore?
Coffie: No! And I don’t want to carry any resentment towards her due to this disagreement
DBM: Prior to the family dinner, was she okay with your smoking habit?
Coffie: No, but she wasn’t making an issue out of it. She understood this was me. Now, I am stuck with what to do.
DBM: Do you see yourself giving up smoking any time soon?
Coffie: Dave, if I did not give it up as a teenager to stay in parents’ house, what makes you think I would now? I don’t do alcohol. I don’t do tobacco. I don’t chase women. Why should I give up the one thing that keeps me on my toes to work hard for my money?
DBM: You will choose weed over the love of your life?
Coffie: My simple rule in life is that, if a woman can ask me to choose between something I enjoy and her, then she’s already making the choice easier for me. Because I will never put someone I care about in that position of choosing
DBM: Is smoking it the only way you can take it?
Coffie: No, but smoking it is my favorite. I vape it sometimes. When I am at work, I eat or just drink the grass.
DBM: Don’t you think part of her concerns could be, marijuana being addictive and harmful to your health?
Coffie: It does not affect me in a bad way. I am fine
DBM: You are certain it does not affect productivity at work?
Coffie: I don’t get high at work. My body is accustomed to the amount I take at work. The effects wear off in seconds. I am always sober during working hours
DBM: Hmmm!
Coffie: Dave, I know what I want in life. I know what I want to do with my life. I know the name of the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. I know my final destination ahead of time; that is why I am making the choices I make and taking these little, necessary steps to get me there. People who may not understand me may see my choices to be bad, but my ‘bad’ choices are also bringing me to the right places and people.
DBM: Does your girlfriend follow my Facebook platform?
Coffie: I don’t know
DBM: This is what I can suggest, I will let you have the last word to tell her something. When I publish our chat on my blog, I will send you the link so you send it to her to read. Cool?
Coffie: That is also a good idea
DBM: You have the last word
Coffie: Matilda, have a little faith and trust in our process. It’s just you and me in this, remember? Just as I allow you to be yourself in the relationship, can you allow me to be myself too? I don’t feel comfortable changing who I am to fit into your family’s ideals of who the right man for you should be. You are fervently religious and I am not, yet we’ve always found a common ground to be happy. We’ve both made sacrifices because we truly love what we have and like each other very much. I don’t think we are too different to allow whatever is causing this friction between us to eat away our faith in love. I love you, and I want to be able to express this feeling without being judged. Please allow me to be my true self around you and let’s have an interesting relationship. I am available tonight to discuss your expectations and boundaries, and any other ways we feel we can be of support to one another. I don’t want our differences to cause any more issues in the relationship.
Image Credit: Cottonbro Studio
