Let’s Talk To Richmond

David Bondze-Mbir (DBM): Thank you for participating. What name would you want to go by? (It can be your real first name or any other name of your choosing)

Participant 167:  Richmond

DBM: Hello Richmond. How would you describe yourself?

Richmond: Slowing down and allowing myself to feel the feelings in my bones

DBM: How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10?

Richmond: 6

DBM: What do you want to talk about?

Richmond: My ex supervised one of my building projects to completion. Unfortunately, we broke up and she wants restitution.

DBM: Why did you break up?

Richmond: I met someone else

DBM: After dating your ex for how long?

Richmond: Five to six years. We were engaged

DBM: When did you break up?

Richmond: Two years ago

DBM: You’re still dating the other woman?

Richmond: We are married

DBM: For how long now?

Richmond: 2 years

DBM: How old are you?

Richmond: 42

DBM: How old is your ex?

Richmond: She’s 38

DBM: How old is your wife?

Richmond: 27

DBM: The building project your ex had to oversee, is it a house?

Richmond: Yes. Our plan was to get married and live in it together

DBM: Who lives in that property now?

Richmond: Me and my wife. We have a son

DBM: How old is your son?

Richmond: One and a half

DBM: Why was your ex the one supervising the project?

Richmond: I was not in Ghana. She was the only person I could trust with my money

DBM: Aside the fact that you met someone else, did she do something wrong to you?

Richmond: No

DBM: What kind of compensation is she seeking?

Richmond: Money

DBM: How much?

Richmond: $50, 000 USD

DBM: Do you have 50k?

Richmond: I don’t

DBM: Do you think she’s worth that much money?

Richmond: No

DBM: How much is she worth, in your approximation?

Richmond: Not that much for sure

DBM: Why do you think she’s asking for that amount?

Richmond: I don’t know. She thinks I owe her. I did not marry her. That was my only crime

DBM: Banyin na obotum atoo susu wɔ ne yer ne twɛ’mu na ɔdze akɔma basia fofor dɛ ondzi

Richmond: I cannot read it. Can you translate into English?

DBM: I was only saying it is of the utmost importance we keep our word, as men

Richmond: Yeah!

DBM: What are you going to do about her?

Richmond: She’s threatening to harm my family, and my wife is insisting I report her to the police

DBM: You needed your ex to help you complete your house

Richmond: Yes

DBM: Do you think you mistreated her in the complete picture of what could have been?

Richmond: I moved on. People move on

DBM: That’s very true but did you value her sacrifices for you?

Richmond: I did

DBM: Did you have her best interest at heart, and served her as much as she did you?

Richmond: I did my best

DBM: Describe your best to me

Richmond: Dave, I contacted you because I want to know if it’s harsh to report her to the police

DBM: You left her for another woman because you thought you were smart to realize that you deserved better

Richmond: My wife was the correct decision to make at that time

DBM: Because your ex was not your only option

Richmond: I’m not sure what else to say

DBM: Have you apologized to her?

Richmond: Yes

DBM: And?

Richmond: She’s insisting I compensate her or she harms my family

DBM: Is she capable of carrying out the threat?

Richmond: I don’t know

DBM: If I am threatened in any way or form, I know I will call the police to report the threat.

Richmond: Thank you

DBM: Did you love her?

Richmond: Ex?

DBM: Yes

Richmond: Yes

DBM: Do you love her?

Richmond: I still care

DBM: I think what you did to her makes her feel as though she wasted her love for you. Supervising the building of your house was her way of proving to herself that she was more than capable of loving someone like you. What you did wrong, in return, was to not prove to her that her love and sacrifices for you were not worth it.

Richmond: Life goes on, bro Dave. I’ve moved on.

DBM: Participant 166, Louis, left a question for you: ‘What are you most proud of about yourself?’

Richmond: I am proud of the love I have for myself, and the fact that I am kinda taking care of my emotional and physical needs.

DBM: It’s your turn to leave a question behind for the next participant

Richmond: Do you give to others whatever they ask of you?

DBM: Thank you!

Image Credit: Cloud96 Adedayo